Not Anonymous

I guess I should write an end of year something or other. I don't know what to say that would be any kind of proper review.

In the end if I had to classify 2012, it would be "the year nothing went according to plan", because while a whole lot of it sucked and I don't really care to revisit it all that much, a lot of good happened as well.

My youngest nephew was born. He'll be turning one on the 8th. Definitely the best thing of 2012; well done to my brother and my sister-in-law.

I got a job I'm still working at. A job that pays reasonably well and can actually help me advance in my professional life. I didn't think I'd be working in this kind of company ever.

I continued writing, improving with every story. If there's a resolution I'd feel comfortable making, it's in my desire to be more prolific and explore more subjects in my fiction this year. I'd also like to promote actual meta, which I feel is lacking in visibility (and possibly interest).

One thing's for sure, you guys, my lists, my friends, made the past year bearable. Some of you had a year as terrible as mine, some even worse. I know I've neglected many people, here and in other social circles, I am sorry for that, but that's part of the program. You never know what or when life is going to hit you.

In a parallel universe I'm in my second year of grad school and I'll be a librarian. In a different universe I'm working on my book about aunthood while working in some part time job, or maybe the same IT job I have now (though that doesn't give much time to actually write).

In this universe, 2013 has one thing I have definite plans for; a proper holiday. I gotta get out of this country a bit.

Happy New Year.

See you on the flip side.

Hello Peoples!

I'm using my friend's smartphone at a wifi hotspot to have internet! It's quite magical.

The guest house my friends and I are staying at had said there was wifi all around, but we ended up having to stand in the corner with our laptops on our heads while performing an arabesque to maintain one bar of internet.

Yeah, it was a bit 1990's.

Still, now with the hotspot I'm surfing like normal (minus YouTube and other random bandwidth eating activities).

Let me tell you how much fun we had driving up to the guest house! It has been rather rainy and wintery (though not cold during the day) and as we drove towards the mountain on which we are no situated, we saw not one, but two rainbows! It looked like it was connected through the clouds!

I almost expected a Care Bear to come sliding down. It was rather gorgeous.

I had a three hour nap, fell asleep in my bra and jeans, that's how knackered I was, dude, I needed that nap.

After we all got up (because we all napped) we went to eat and then basically came back to nap some more, only it was already night so it was an actual good night's sleep.

Today we woke up for breakfast made by the proprietors and then we went shopping! I don't really enjoy shopping as an activity, but there was a sale in many of the shops so I got three cardigans and a hat (which was bought for me as a present, much to my delight), so I'm rather more prepared for winter than I was before this short getaway.

Currently, I'm lounging on the big bed while my close mate reads her book right next to me. I'm wondering how long I'll be able to keep my eyes open before I succumb to another nap.

And why the hell shouldn't I. I'm on weekend holiday.

Bliss.

Two sirens went off in Tel-Aviv. Countless ones in the south and on the border with Gaza. Dozens of people in Gaza were killed.

I'm not keeping a tally, I did that last time and it's an insane thing to do. I'll leave that for the other people.

I'll talk about myself and my cushy-only-twice-in-a-day descent down to the shelter of my office building.

The first one was at about 10 am, just as I was sitting down to actually start working. We're supposed to stay ten minutes in the shelter after we hear the sirens. When I was back at my desk to check on updates I saw that the Iron Dome interception system did it's job and got the two rockets that headed our way.

[Sexy!Ex-Roommate] and I commenced a gallows humour tweetfest in which we tried to think of a dry drinking game for each siren during the day, seeing as we can't drink at work. We discarded coffee, considered cookies, eventually decided on songs.

She tweeted Alive.

The second siren was at the end of the work day, around 6 thirty pm and just my crummy luck I was in the bathroom when I heard the siren. I was more annoyed than anything else let me tell you. It's awkward. I pulled up my big girl pants, washed my hands like a civilised human being and went down, to the shelter.

This time I was a bit shakier, possibly because of the compromising position in which I found myself during the siren, possibly because it was two sirens in one day and I'm still, ha, sheltered and don't want to think about what it means.

Regardless, the song I tweeted was Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down).

This week had been so hellish, I don't even know where to begin.

( So I'll start at the beginning )

That was my week. I'm so glad it's over.

My afternoon siesta lasted three hours.

I woke up feeling quite terrible. In fact I thought I was going to throw up. However, I wasn't going to let that stop me, though it did delay my reflexes and I felt foggy brained for a long time.

But my sister had booked and paid for an evening hike at the excavation sites of Caesarea, and we would walk among the ruins with swinging lantern lights (something the kids found very enjoyable).

So with the above being part of the plans there was much discussion by members of my family suggesting I stay at the cottage and let someone else take my place on the hike, which annoyed me enough to get moving, take a quick scalding shower (I woke up with a fever and thus was feeling cold) and swallow down some paracetamol.

Oh, and our neighbours decided to blast their music again. Cue my bitch-face + a headache (despite the medicine). I was ready to either murder someone or leave.

After taking the medicine, chugging down a bottle of water and eating an apple I felt better, though nowhere near 100%.

The hike was brilliant though. Our guide was a geek! The moat reminded my nephews of Helm's Deep and one of them said it looked like where Aragorn and Legolas fought the Orcs and the guide asked them if they knew who Aragorn's father is and then started reciting The Song of Aragorn!

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

My sister and brother-in-law looked very pleased and I clapped like a moron and bounced like a ball, something I regretted, because, well, fever.

But all our kids, three nephews and a niece, now felt they had the guide all to themselves and latched onto him like limpets.

My sister, who is a Mediaevalist of the Middle East was very impressed with the guide's correct knowledge of the era and the Mamluks who fought the Crusaders. I gotta say, if I had to chose a side, I'd go with the Mamluks, as my sister said, because they won.

They won hard.

In any event, we walked along the shore line and the guide talked about the Romans and their bloody "reality shows" in the Hippodrome and Arena, the Byzantines and their syncretism of Jesus and Sol Invictus, the other multiple temples to the Sun that scattered the shore line, and he recreated, using shadow puppets the Egyptian god Ra's descent into the underworld and ascent into the sky, which was rather entertaining.

By the end of the hike most of the lanterns had gone out, which made the atmosphere even eerier, but I suppose that is the point.

As I said the kids loved it.

The drive back to the resort was a bit of a nightmare, because the paracetamol wore off and the fever attacked me again.

By the time we arrived back I was very wobbly and the short walk had me collapsing on my bed. I was given water and ibuprofen. I changed into pyjamas and was moaning and groaning the whole night, I was told.

I woke up on day 4 (and check out morning) was given more medicine, tea and I nibbled on dry cornflakes.

Thankfully my brother and his family wanted to go home as soon as possible, so I hitched a ride with them and got home long before everyone else.

I continued to be floppy throughout the day, but as of this writing I'm back to normal. I suspect sunstroke to be honest.

This being a beach resort, it is not inconceivable that we would have neighbours, am I right?

Well, one of the neighbouring cottages is putting on a show. I was rudely awakened from my afternoon nap (my coveted siestas by the noise of heavy bases blasting through speakers. I was honestly unsure as to what was happening.

Once I was decently dressed and had my bitch-face on, I went to ask them to ask them to turn it down. They replied that they needed to test the sound before their party tonight.

Obviously I and two of my siblings went to the management to complain. We were led to believe that the management were on our side, considering they immediately alerted security.

Management didn't actually do much.

The saga went on for a good few hours, with my plans of a nap being shot to hell and multiple walks back and forth to management to get our neighbours to shut the fuck up.

I suppose the fact that our noisy neighbours couldn't give a flying fuck goes without saying.

My anti-social heart was extremely cranky at the fact that I had to talk to strangers, but also the fact that old family friends decided to join us for supper. Something I, my father and several other family members were bitter about, because we are 15 people and we ended up feeding up to 20. Not fun for the people applying fire to the food, let me tell you.

I did not feel rested or relaxed. And fuck, I resented all the other people holidaying with us. The fucking chutzpah is just unbelievable.

I was so annoyed and everybody fucking knew it.

I had my bitch-face on.

All our complaining to management did help somewhat in the end, as they folded up their sound system much earlier than they intended. That didn't stop them from screaming into a microphone. I realise not everyone considers the peace and quiet of the beach and isolation all that relaxing but the utter inconsideration made me tear my hair out. I honestly, really, could not understand how these people thought they were being in any way, shape or form, nice to their neighbours. I mean, I don't give a flying fuck about them, they could do me the same kindness and not force their music on me.

Once the family friends left and the music emanating from the resort subsided (yes, the resort had an equally noisy and sonorous activity, one which had a limit thankfully, something I'm sure our neighbours did not) I felt much better.

You know, one of the reasons I kind of enjoy these holidays, family drama and criticism notwithstanding, is the peace and quiet of the sea air and the sunshine, peace and quiet I don't get to have in the city unless I isolate myself.

I had never wished to be somewhere else on one these holidays until this year. This day was nightmarish.

The day, however, was saved by a game of Scrabble, in which my brother in law and I faced off my sister (his wife) and mother, as well as my other sister and her husband. I won.

It was awesome.

I realise my family is a harmonious clump of love, like something out of the Cosby Show, or something equally mushy, where everyday is a Very Special Episode but cripes, I need a break from the break!

I made the decision to not wear a bra other than my bikini top the whole time I'm here.

Considering the days are still hot, the fact that one sweats when it's hot, and the fact that I only brought one bra with me, this was a decision bred from necessity rather than one of preference. I'm fairly busty, despite "only" being a C cup.

As I write this, members of my family are playing a quick game of Scrabble; my mother and nephew to be exact. My father and brother in law are about to light up the barbecue for this evening's meal.

Other than arriving at the beach houses we're renting for the weekend, it was a fairly uneventful day. Packing everything for the whole holiday took longer than the drive from home to the resort.

Being at the beach and with my Tribe (we are 15 strong, with ages ranging from 9 months to 67 years) is a rather fun thing after a crummy year.

Expect some more to come.

I should mention and I'll expand on this later, that when it comes to fanfic, fandom and particularly the scholarship and craft of transformative fiction; it is clear I can only do this with my sisters and in private, lest other members of my family think it's okay to mock me for my interests and my para-academic interests.

Oh gentle readers and beloved friends, I shall miss you.

I've just spend an hour or so stuffing Offiver Kalakaua (my tablet) with ebooks, some of which I spend far too much money on, some gotten by means best not mentioned.

Regardless, I have lots and lots to read this weekend, for you see, it is that time of year again, where my clan collects itself, the entirety of the food (as in far too much, because really? We can't pop over to some shop and get some milk if we need it!?) and sets off on the grand adventure by the seaside.

A long weekend of going to sleep too late due to scrabble, getting up for too early due to fishing and a great many siestas.

Last year I brought one book and barely touched it, opting rather to listen to the podfics I shoved into my mp3 player. This time I'm putting nothing but music on her, so that I can read my the longfics I downloaded and read the ebooks (holy shit, so much lesbian pulp!) I now own.

Lucky me.

It's a family holiday.

I will be back sometime Sunday, and while Officer Kalakaua will be joining me, I very much doubt there will be any wifi for her to hijack.

I might still be around tomorrow morning, depending and how much I'm needed for schlepping.

Today I was complacent.

I was too confident, thought myself too smart and now things will never be the same. For me, at least. I doubt anyone else will give this as much thought.

Part of my job is to watch videos.

A lot of these videos are sexist, cater to rape culture and just plain offensive to my sensibilities. I am not shy about saying this, after all, just because I have to work with the material doesn't mean I have to like it.

One of my co-workers (we'll call her [The Heterosexist]) tried to convince me of the merit of the obnoxious humour that is found in these videos. I said, just because something is funny (and your mileage may vary rather widely!) doesn't make it inoffensive. Especially videos that are about how to "get a man" and tips of "how to kiss", all of which, as you can imagine, are sexist, cater to rape culture and are just plain offensive to my sensibilities.

The conversation evolved from talking about these "how to" guides for dating, to actual woes about dating. Two co-workers (including [The Heterosexist]) complained, as women who are socialising often do, about the dearth of men to date, how they didn't like strong women, how they didn't like older women, how they didn't like women who took initiative, etc.

I, jokingly, suggested that there was a remedy for this. That would be to not date men.

A different co-worker (we'll call her [Laid Back]) replied that the lesbian option was becoming more and more appealing. I said, one just needs to try hard enough *wink-wink nudge-nudge*

Now, because I work in an extremely liberal and casual office, because I work with a boss who has said the word "sexism" seriously, because I work on a majority woman team, because two of the three men with whom I work are gay; I felt safe enough to be casual and jokey about this aspect of my life, seeing as everyone else was being casual and jokey about that aspect of their lives as well.

Never fucking again.

[The Heterosexist], in light of what I said and how [Laid Back] replied, decided to share the fact that she knows she's not lesbian because when a woman hit on her she had to quit the class they studied in together.

Yes.

[The Heterosexist] went on to say that this woman treated her like she was her "boyfriend", went with her to the bus, took her to meet her friends. When a third co-worker (we'll call her [The Comedienne]) asked why she didn't just say she wasn't interested, [The Heterosexist] said this lesbian woman wouldn't take no for an answer, that she just kept hanging around her.

Considering she said she didn't know how to handle a woman hitting on her, I'm disinclined to believe her regarding how she interpreted the behaviour of this woman.

[The Comedienne] asked if she felt this woman was harassing her, [The Heterosexist] she wasn't sure, just that she was annoyed by her. [The Comedienne] said that would make a great comedy, about the lesbian who couldn't take a hint.

As you can imagine, I was feeling my blood boil and I ended up saying: "I think we have enough predatory gay stereotypes we have to deal with."

Call me Mel, the conversation killer.

The thing is, she clearly thought she was sharing a funny anecdote about Lesbians because the topic came up. Never mind that she has an ostensibly lesbian co-worker (me) and she was clearly uncomfortable with the implication that if she didn't date men she might be, god for-fucking-bid, considered one, because otherwise she'd be one of those pathetic women who were hung up on straight women who clearly would never ever ever want to date another woman.

I'm sure she thinks she has no problem with gay people. She's not bothered by it. Unless it's implied that this is something that can actually touch her.

Well, I shan't be so cavalier like I was today. I was stupid to think I could be.

And what burns the most is that one of my gay co-workers (let's call him [The Assimilationist]) said the whole situation was funny, that it would make great comedy.

Nice to see where his loyalties lie.

I wrote a post yesterday just before I headed out to the parade, but Officer Kalakaua ate it alas. I'm still getting used to this whole typing with my thumbs and not touching things by accident.

I also switched on the spell check, which happens to be the autocorrect, so my initial attempts at swearing were a bust. Truly, Officer, I really did mean to say "fuck" and not "fork".

Funny stuff. I may install a chat app just so Imcan screengrab things and send them to Damn You Autocorrect!

Any way, it was a successful march. I'd never taken any formal part in Pride, but the march in Jerusalem is of way more significance due to it's nature as a human rights march, as opposed to the pandering street party that the one in Tel-Aviv is. It's also far more significant due to it being a memorial of the shooting of the gay youth club three years ago, so you know, it's important.

I was very concerned about the police and the border patrol (the border police has more presence in spaces like these as opposed to the actual border), but my own paranoia was just that.

I stood with the security at the entrance to the assembly area and put bracelets on people to prove that they had been checked out by security, so that was annoying - also, the amount of Holocaust jokes were abound.

After standing around for two hours, I and the rest the ushers became the headers, basically making sure there were no people behind us except the police.

I forewent the post-march concerts and speeches, and along with a few other people went to celebrate [sexy!roommate]'s birthday on the grass a bit away from the the assembly.

Long, but rather good day, all in all.

I now have a t-shirt I can't wear ever again, due to it being an usher shirt, not because it was ruined. I also got burnt on the back of my neck.

Just call me Red Neck Mel.