Not Anonymous

( My famous last words are... )

One of the funniest evah!!!

I'm taking a break from packing.
I have too many books! Man did I spend a bunch of money on those babies (totally worth it, but practically an entire suitcase!).
I also need to pack all my clothes, do my hair, pack my toiletries bag, make sure I have enough power in my mp3 player, make sure I have books in my carry-on bag, make sure I am NOT FREAKING OUT!!!!!

Which, ya know, obviously I am.
My flight is at 18:55 which means I have to at the air port at 16:30 at the latest and that in six hours!

I want Mummy to help me pack...

Today is my last day as Libby's Nanny.
I can't believe how much I've done in the past four months and how far I've come.
When I started out she was this little thing that only slept, ate and used up nappies.
Now she's a tiny little person.
What an amazing time it's been!
At the same time, I'm a bit glad it's over, that I've done it and can now move on, I love her and always will, but it had to end at some point.
I will always have a special place in my heart for Libby, I really hope (and I intend to make sure) that she and I have a special bond.
I love my nephews to bits as well, but Libby is different; she's the first person to ever really depend on me and she's the first person I ever really had a "life or death" responsibility towards.
It's been a hard and very life changing (I feel) months for me.
Now I get to go home for some rest :)

But not before we go to Virginia again, for a bit of beach holiday with Jade and the kids while Rami studies for his orals.

I've been thinking about what kind of person Libby will grow up to be; I mean she's going to be rad that I know (she has me for an aunt after all).
But I wonder, after being bombarded for the past five months with Sinead O'Connor, Sarah McLachlan, the Beatles, David Bowie, Alanis Morrisette, K's Choice, the Cranberries and Garbage... I wonder if she'll grow up thinking too early if all women sound as angry as her auntie and the music she listens to.

Just some food for thought

I'm sick of missing people.
Really I am.

I just got off the phone with Daddy who asked me why I decided to come home early.
I kind of blew up on him, since not only am I sick of missing people, I'm sick of telling people why I'm home-sick.
I'm not on Holiday here.
This is not a vacation for me, I don't think I've worked this hard or had this much responcibillity. Ever.
I don't want to be here any more.

I told Daddy I missed him and broke down, I'm still broken and weepy, my only comfort is Libby sitting in my lap.

I thought having Robbie here would make me feel better, that he'd sympathize, but no, he's the same annoying big brother.

I don't want to be here any more.

So I ordered three books from Amazon.com (I stupidely got them shiped to Israel, but never mind I had a gift card so it was no big deal in any event).
One of them uber-geeky - Sex And The Slayer: A Gender Studies Primer For The Buffy Fan by Lorna Howllet.
And two by Judith Btler - Bodies that Matter and Gender Trouble.
Again, yeah I know it was silly to ship them home instead of here as it would have saved me money, but you live and learn right?
*sigh*
I feel like a dum-dum.

In happier notes, got my birthday gifst from Robbie (who arrived safe and sound, you can read his most recent entry on hemlock_sholes) - Got me two books; one which I've started reading: זהויות במדים: גבריות ונשיות בצבא הישראלי ע"י אורנה ששון לוי in English it's titles Identities in Uniform: Masculinities and Femininities in the Israeli Army by Orna Sasson-Levy. It's very academic, but it's not written in a boring way and I haven't asked anyone to explain new words to me, so I'm feeling fairly intelligent reading this.
The other book is לא רוצות להיות נחמדות: המאבק על זכות הבחירה וראשיתו של הפמיניזם החדש בישראל ע"י חנה ספרן which in English is Don't wanna be nice girls: The struggle for suffrage and the new feminism in Israel by Hannah Safran.

All in all not a bad selection of new books, I think I'll need a new bookshelf for all my new books.
I'm really proud of them all, especially since I was a very late comer to the world of reading, my first "real" book was Jane Ayre which I read for the first time when I was twelve. That's not an early age to become a bookworm, when all your siblings were big readers since they... well since they could actually read!

My family and friends, I have done the unimaginable.

I cooked supper for the entire house-hold and didn't cause the fire alarm to go off!

Yay me!

And them pancakes were oh so gooooood.

Got back from the Philly Pride Parade.
Fun was had by yours truly.
I am now a whole lot more buttoned than I was before and I have lots of beads and chains for Israeli Pride.
Plus, I finally have a rainbow flag! Woot!

The floats were very nice, but by far the best one was the mock X-Men float, in which all our favourite super-heroes and heroines were queered and called themselves the G-Men... which is pretty ironic since the X-Men are notoriously non-government.
It was pretty weird hearing the cartoon theme song blaring out of the speakers and then getting a techno version of "I will survive" right after it.

So we (as in all of queer Philadelphia and the allies) marched through Center City to Penn's Landing near the river and there, there was much the commercialized booths.
What is it with Americans and beer.

Bud Lite was the sponsor for the event.

Not all was good though, ( I was being stalked )

And Mummy had warned me to have fun and be weary of predators :)

I do not understand this phenomena of going up to a person with a baby and start talking to the baby, without even addressing the adult with said infant.
I find it rude and aggravating. Just personally, I have no idea how other people with babies perceive this social annoyance.
I mean, who the hell do they think they are? walking up to a person (who happens to be busy eating and/or reading, since they don't get much a chance to do at home because they have a baby to watch over) and disturb them and think it's fine and dandy, since they're complementing the baby and by extension you, that is me.
It sort of evaporates when whoever is fawning over the charming Libby, discovers (when I correct them) that I am her aunt, the mystique is gone, the bubble burst and I am no longer as interesting as they thought I was; all by virtue of the fact that I am not "Mummy" only "Aunty".
And I can just see what flows through their brain - "Poor baby, being left to be taken care of by a young woman who isn't her mother".
I can only assume, and of course I am projecting my own rage, they don't think - "Poor mother, she needs help with the baby," or "Why isn't there a father?" that is if they are even progressive enough to think of a father being an equal partner in the rearing of a baby.
The point of this hucking spiel.
Being in the US and away from my default environment and existence in the lovely, tiny land of Israel-Palestine, I must assert my identity.
Just by looking at me: shaved head, pale white skin, an average array of clothes consisting of cords, jeans, numerous styles of tank tops and t-shirts, I am just a run-o-the-mill, average, American girl (shaved head notwithstanding. Even talking, I manage to camouflage my way in here, due to my knack of emulating the accent of whomever I am talking to.
My American friends can assert this fact (or tell me I'm imagining things, am I?).
It is a knack that drives my family crazy (it is also the source of numerous teasing from my brother) and I make sure to swallow my "R"'s and hollow my vowels when I speak to non-South Africans in English in their presence.

Yup, we are pigeonholed by the people who see us by virtue of the environment we are in and the accessories we bring into said environment.
I don't really have anything significant to say about this, I'm just commenting on an observation of the human condition.

I also thought of an idea for a Fantasy-Sci-Fi epic which would look great as a comic book.
nurint you wanna be a comic drawer for my thing once there's an actual plot going and it goes beyond a pathetic prologue and a main character?

Yup, another short weekend in NYC spent with Rachel and Ellie.
I woke up late that morning and arrived in New York just a little after Noon and thus began my sojourn in the Subway towards the Upper East Side and the Whitney Museum of American Art.
I actually arrived at a bad time since they were going through renovations and redoing the galleries, so the admission was a bit cheap but then again there were only two floors open to the public.

The art was Modern and Contemporary, the one floor was filled with the more conceptual and video art (which I'm not a fan of) but a lot of it was from the 70's and thus was very political which I liked, especially the collage made out of fliers and publications by the Civil Rights Movement, it's amazing how so much of what they say there is still relevant today.
The other floor was a bit more contemporary, but less loud, more actual paintings, photographs, lithographers and such, it lent to a more constructive atmosphere to think about the art I was looking at which was fun.
It so happened that just as I finished exploring that floor on my own a free tour of the floor was starting so I got all the explanations and small anecdotes about the art work which was very enjoyable.
It's always nice to find someone to explain things to you and it's their job.

I then traveled back to Midtown and caught the subway to Washington Heights where I met up with Rachel and Ellie, we went out to have some supper and then headed to 66th street to catch a movie "The Break-Up", it had all the attributes to a classic hollywood love story of boy meets girl, boy and girl shack up and boy and girl break up, bot and girl get back together classic Hollywood ending.
Except Not.
I won't spoil, but I was pleasantly surprised by the break in the Hollywood mold.
I also wonder if Jennifer and Vince decided to act together because of "Mr and Mrs Smith", I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. And ironic since Vince Vaughn played Brad Pitt's best friend in that movie - "Mr. and Mrs Smith" that is.

When we returned to WH we had ourselves a לילה לבן (stayed up till morning), meaning I got up late again and took my time to get back to Philly.

A pleasant weekend was had by one and all.

Thanks again Rachel and Ellie for letting me crash.

I wrote this on yellow pad paper in my cafe, I really need a lap top, since every time I'm inspired to write down my thoughts I'm desperately seeking a pen and paper.

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated living in America.
Not including the beautiful Yanks I've spoken to here and met IRL, most of the Americans (that I've come in contact with who are not my friends) are annoying.
Everything here is so extreme, there's no in between.
I also see why America rules the world.
America wants Power. Capital P.
And this Power can only be equated with Imperialism; A legacy the British left and that the Cold War perfected.
America is again an isolationist nation.
Only instead of the Capitalist Nukes vs the Communist Nukes it's the Capitalist Christian God vs the Anti-Capitalist Muslim Allah.
Is this a news flash? Of course not, anyone with a modicum of insight can see this.
There is nothing new under the Sun.
Ecclesiastics is as relevant now as it was two thousand years ago.
But all the rivers that run to the Sea are polluted and sick.
As are we all.
America is not out to Smite the Infidel! It's out to make a Profit (Another Capital P).
It's not about Good (us) vs Evil (them), it's about, that's right, Power.
The one with the most toys wins.
America is a child with a whole lot of toys.

Who am I to criticize? I figured since everybody else was doing it I'd join the bandwagon.
I believe I have a different perspective.
I am not an American.

( I am a Consumer )