Had these things been published in The Onion

[eumelia]

But they were not.
Which is a shame, because they are so pitiful they don't need to be parodied.

#1 Will the stupidity know no end! Were there a GD who actually smacked His/Her/Its followers upside the head. The whole region from Southern Lebanon to Southern Israel has been experiencing tectonic shifting - earthquakes that is - there was quite a big one on Friday where Mummy and I ran under a door way, it wasn't that hard, but still left my knees a bit wobbly.
Those people who are somewhat detached from reality* are trying to find metaphysical reasons why this is happening in the Holy Land.
Obviously, the gays are causing the earthquakes.
Yup, there's the sounds, rational reasoning I like to find in my leadership (well, obviously not mine-mine, I'm not considered a whole human, being a woman and a queer one to boot).

#2 Ahmadinejad is continuing his paranoid anti-Israel rhetoric. Israel is a germ spreading the vileness of the West in the Middle East. Oh, that's nice, real mature Mahmoud, way to show a fraction of sanity one would imagine a statesman should posses.
Then again he was always rabid. I wonder if he's aware of the fact that by bombing Israel with the A-Bomb, he'd end up murdering a huge amount of his Palestinian brethren... those dictators never do think of that little glitch do they.

Yes, these are serious News articles.
No, I'm not laughing because I'm too busy mocking!

*Not all religious people are detached from reality... only those in government.

Comments

[sabotabby]

Maybe the gays could cause just a small earthquake right under Ahmadinejad's feet. He really chose the wrong career. He could have been a stand-up comic and that would have been awesome. Instead, he has to be a dictator, and really, the Iranians have suffered enough.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

See, if Shas would think rationally they'd tell the IDF CoS to send all the gays in the army (and there are a bunch!) to Iran and destroy the nuclear plants.
But, alas, it was not to be.

[lotus82.livejournal.com]

My husband had just emailed me the link to that "gays causing earthquakes" article. No end to human stupidity, really. All I have to say is that if this theory is true, how come there were no major earthquakes the summer of 2001? I had some awesome lesbian sex that summer which could technically rock a small planet! =)

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

It's as though the whole age of Reason skipped those people.

[antongarou.livejournal.com]

I thinks it's more or less the other way around...

[lotus82.livejournal.com]

When I was a kid I used to say that rain is angels peeing and thunder is them farting. I wonder what those Shas people came up with to explain those weather phenomena and whether they are more absurd than what I came up with 20 years ago.

From your Orientalist sister ...

[(Anonymous)]

May I point out that Ahmadinejad would regard Palestinian deaths as mere collateral damage? Besides, the dead Palestinians would be regarded as shahids, I should think (as is a woman who dies in childbirth, btw). Let me also add that Palestinian Muslims are almost 100% Sunni and obviously, are Arabs. The Iranians are not that keen on the Arabs, unless they are Shi`is, so quite possibly mass Palestinian deaths would not bother him at all.

Re: From your Orientalist sister ...

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Wow... that's really interesting and horrible.

Off Topic: Have you heard of a sociologist Manar Hasan? I've read an article of hers for one of my courses.

random eepy wisdom

[tempestbreaker.livejournal.com]

2) Oh Ahmadinejad. You silly rascal. a) Since when do any foreign nations REALLY care about the Palestinians? I mean really. b) See he's funny with me because he's one hell of a snappy dresser. I can respect a man who knows how to wear a suit well. I'm sick of seeing all these schmucks on the world stage wearing ridiculous military uniforms. Ahmadinejad at leasts looks respectable...till he opens his mouth.
1) hmm...so combine article with the "gay bomb" that america was developing, add lemon zest and stir for 20 minutes and what do we get?

Re: random eepy wisdom

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

2) Rainbow diarrhea?

[talibah-nazahah.livejournal.com]

does anyone ever point out that the shas guy looks like a skinny haniya?

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

People often point out that Shas is a non-militarized Jewish Hamas... or that could just be me.

[talibah-nazahah.livejournal.com]

ive heard that as well and that's how i explain them to people here... wasnt it them who wanted to blow up the mosque though? or their supporters? that's fairly militant. and the settlers are a large part of their base, right? they are armed.

[antongarou.livejournal.com]

I think you're confusing them with the far right section of the Mafdal, who're, as a rule, somewhat less extreme on religious grounds and much more nationalistic

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Like what antongarou said, those are the far right of the Mafdal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Religious_Party) and Kach (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kach_and_Kahane_Chai) religious, but more fascist.

[talibah-nazahah.livejournal.com]

thanks by the way :) i need to study up on the kenesset

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

Also, it was me and my gay activity that caused that earthquake in Sumatra yesterday! True!

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

What gay activity was that now?
;P