Last night I was everything I'm not

[eumelia]

Last night was a big mess when it came to be trying to deflect racism, homophobia and sexism.

I dunno what was in the air, but it was irritating.

I had to tell people to stop codifying Islam with "terrorism". I had to tell people that gay people in the States do not want "special rights" when it comes to same-sex marriage. I had to defend this "assimilationist" strategy - when I personally would like to see marriage abolished - because the "LGBT Community" isn't campaigning for separating the 1000+ rights automatically given with marriage and would rather just reproduce straight ideals - this is all coming from straight people by the way.
I had to tell people to stop using racial slurs when describing a black service person - and then went on to "Politically Correct" the language by instead of using racial slurs to say "African" in a very un-ambiguous way while looking at me in irritation.

Thank you for being an asshole.

Someone tried to convince themselves that going to a strip club wasn't contributing to the sex industry in the same way going to a prostitute.
I was shot down time after time when I tried to explain that the only thing you're doing by not going to a prostitute is not paying for sex with a prostitute. Going to a strip club is still contributing to the industry.

Then I'm told that some women chose to work in the sex industry.

I did not mention anything about who chooses to do what! Honestly, sex-work is real work! Just because I'd rather see it sans exploitation and sans human trafficking doesn't mean I am anti-sex work or anti-sex workers!

I think the main issue isn't the fact that women chose to do sex-work (and should be paid accordingly), but the fact that the sex-industry is so bloody duplicitous when it comes to what is legal and what isn't - more accurately, the law regarding the sex-industry is so duplicitous and because there is such a problem of comprehending the difference between legalisation (which often causes just as many problems as it being illegal) and decriminalisation.

Actual sex workers have better and more info on the subject.

All in all, it was an irritating evening in which my family and friends made me feel like a bloody fuddy-duddy, a Politically Correctness-Fiend and an anti pro-sex advocate!
Arrrgh!
But there's no doubt in anyone's mind that I'm pro-porn (which I am, though I'd rather, like other sections of the sex-industry, had a little more respect for its workers and consumers).

*sigh*

Such is the life of the pro-sex, anti-racist, queer feminist student of Literary Theory and Women's studies, I suppose.

Comments

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

*big queer hugs*

Remember, for every person who is arguing with you just to annoy, two people are listening and learning. Human brains are built to assimilate new information, but I often think that the first step is to deny the new, to fall back on what you've been told. But even that is stirring the pot of change.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I suppose you're right, but it was frustrating. I felt like everything I was saying was backfiring!

[tinyrevolution.livejournal.com]

If otherwise-smart ppl start to say ridiculous things that make you feel like you're going around in circles, and they all come down to how-catastrophically-wrong-you-are, it's a good sign that they're just trying to make themselves feel better than you. They're trying to convince THEMSELVES that any of these derails and missing-the-points and failures of logic are true, because they are so emotionally invested in you being wrong. It's an abusive, manipulative, thoughtless and dangerous way to treat someone, and it's not surprising that it would make you feel so frustrated. I'm really glad that you're able to fight it off instead of internalizing all of the nonsense they're putting on you.

The most optimistic thing I can say is, when ppl - especially family - start bringing these tactics into talk about politics, you might actually be able to use it in your favor. If you can make the conversation about THAT - the way they're treating you during the conversation - then you might actually find yourself having more allies in the room. Even if you're the only queer, odds are you aren't the only person they've bullied like that. Sorry that's the most optimistic thing I can think of atm, but it's something I've noticed helps me when I get very frustrated in the heat of arguing with stubborn bullying family members.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

This is helpful.

Thank you!