It's silly, I know

[eumelia]

I just came back from a small chore that didn't require me to walk very far, so I went outside barefoot.
As I was walking, a Granny with three children under the age of four passed me and the little girl (I'd wager she was about three) gave me a really long look and as they passed she looked up to her Granny, "Isn't she pretty?! Why is she barefoot?"
"I don't know" replied the Granny, "Maybe she just likes to be barefoot"
"Can I cut my hair like her?" (I'm not shaved at the moment, merely short and gel spiked).
The Granny tossed me an exasperated look.

I feel so validated!

I'm wearing a pastel green shirt and bubble-gum pink skirt (yes, I can hear all of you *gasp* from across the internet) and I feel so pretty! For years I've tried my hardest to avoid flashy colours, staying neutral and if I do wear a flashy colour I'll probably down play it with black, white, grey, or any other non-colour. Plus, the only non-neutral colour I loved was red. Now I want to wear greens, pinks, bright blues and more.
Yesterday I wore the pink skirt with a turquoise tank top and looked very, very bubbly.
Colours have become a "yes, more" kind of thing, when before they were a big "you expect me to wear that?!"

I think I'm becoming happier.

Also this little girl had hair down to her waist... the more little girls who challenge gender norms the better I say!

Comments

[ravrhi.livejournal.com]

On the plane from Vienna, I began talking to a little girl and told her that my tooth fairy had pink wings, a blue dress and green hair. The thing the little girl liked was the green hair. Later, she was taking the plane-safe tat/piercing tour, and when she got to my purple hair announced she wanted to be just like me when she grows up. I know what you mean about feeling validated. It feels good, doesn't it?

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

It feels great!

[nurint.livejournal.com]

Happier is better. Your version of soldier look was way cool, I can wait to see your version of pastel ;)

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

How will I dress today, uberfemme or uberbutch? :)

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

I don't see anything wrong with challenging norms. I think more guys should do it too. I get angry at the way products are marketed in the USA. I once bought a back-scrubber for the bath tub, and the tag said something like 'Girl-Power Back Scrubber' or something similar. WTF? Why should that be marketed toward women? It's not like they are selling feminine hygeine here... LOL

On the other hand, there are a lot of very nice clothes marketed toward women, and sold only in the womens section. A lot of these don't even look gender-specific at all. They look more punk or goth to me, like black leather belts with skull buckles, black boots with zippers on the side, etc. I buy what I want to, and wear what I want to.

I don't think that anyone should be pushed to challange gender norms either though. I don't think there is anything wrong at all with a man looking like a man, or a woman looking like a woman. If a little girl wants to dress in a pink frilly dress, and that makes her happy, by god let her do it! =)

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I agree that the marketing industry sucks when it comes to products, especially skin products.

And most articles of clothing nowadays are fairly androgynus, so I understand your beef :)

Usually people challenge social norms because it's their fun (at least it's my fun :) and yes, whatever makes a person happy is what counts whether it's in baggy jeans or a muslin skirt. I happen to feel comfy in both :D and that should apply to anyone... the more boys and men who wear skirts the better, kilts always seem logical to me for males, because of all the dangly bits :)

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the skirt was origionaly concidered male clothing. It seems strange. If there wasn't such social pressure where I live I would probably wear one. They look uber-comfortable! As a child I averaged about a fight each day, and I am really loath to have to do that anymore. I hate fighting, although I am pretty good at it (years of martial arts training, years as a kid learning to take punches... yeah). I'm most happy when people don't know I exist.

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

Eh, one question here... I noticed your dragon icon, and I'm wondering, do you get offended by chivalrous actions, like men opening doors for you and pulling out chairs? I do this sort of thing all the time, and it offends a lot of women. I'm not doing it because I think women are the weaker sex though. I believe there should be some kind of clear cut social protocol, and that doing such things are just a good, polite thing to do. I also open doors for elderly men and children...

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

In fact, after thinking about it, I don't even really do it 'for' women, I do it for myself (it reminds me to be polite), and out of respect for women in general (not any specific individual female).

[roie-m.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I should reply to some random guy (you're a guy, right? So am I) I don't know, but if she doesn't find it offensive, I certainly do.

If I'm standing by a door, and a woman is too, and you come by, you're going to open the door for her and not for me. Why? Because she's a woman.

And that drives me nuts.

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I don't really have respect for other men. Sorry sir, I don't know you from jack.

The vast majority of men treat women like shit in my view. Women give birth to us, and grant us some measure of immortality (through our progeny). This is why I will continue opening doors.

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

So you blindly respect half the population for the ability to give birth, ignoring the large percentage that cannot or does not want children, has abortions, or are otherwise horrible parents, but disrespect the other because they cannot bear children and some are misogynists? I'm not following your logic.

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

No, you don't understand, and if you say it that way, you won't understand because you choose not to understand.

For the sake of the blind however, I will repeat what I said above:

"In fact, after thinking about it, I don't even really do it 'for' women, I do it for myself (it reminds me to be polite), and out of respect for women in general (not any specific individual female)."

[angeleyes1701.livejournal.com]

Have you ever considered just opening doors for people. If I reach the handle first, I'll pass and hold it for the other person to pass, be it woman or man. As for validation - it's nice. I am not much of a gender-bender. I just do whatever is comfortable for me.

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

Occasionally I will. It depends on how close behind me they are, how generous of a mood I'm in, etc. I won't let the door slam in anyones face, either.

I feel like I was born in the wrong time. A lot of people probably laugh at me, but that's how I was raised, and that's how I believe. I won't change, because I like who I am. I don't mean to offend anyone.

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

Oh, and yes... I'm a guy.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

No, "chivalry" doesn't bother me as such, except when I hold a door open for a man and he refuses to enter, that's what bothers me.
I hold doors open for people and they hold them open for.

One of my exes (whose still a really good friend), when we went on one of our earlier dates, took out a chair and I sat in the opposite one, he gave me a look and I said "what?"
"I took out a chair for you, are you a feminist or something?"
Yeah, it's those things that bother me, but general politeness is all fine.

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it doesn't bother you. =) It's kind of confusing to be a man and not have a clear idea of what to do.

I have had that happen when I opened a door for someone before. They opened the other door, and went through that after shooting me a look from hell. I was kind of sad my hospitality was refused, but I wasn't offended.

[hagar-972.livejournal.com]

*giggle* About the dragon icon... I originally made it for nurint, and she graciously agreed to have it shared with the rest of the world. (As it's just too... appropriate.) Anyhows, it's 50% feminism, and 50% an inside joke - and the dragon imagery thing is totally the latter.

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

I understand the joke... I also understand the sentiment behind the serious side of it. Very nice work, btw. I was just curious how melody_kitty felt about doors, because my fiance used to have a similar saying: "I'll open my own doors, thank you." I'm not sure why, but it doesn't offend her when I do it. I'm so glad, too, because I love doing that for her. =)

Challenging norms?

[roie-m.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's good to feel validated (don't I know it?), but...

One of the reasons we have gender norms is because of societal pressure. What this poor little girl is feeling now, at least as I see it, is just another piece of pressure in the opposite direction.

However, isn't peer-pressure in the opposite direction just as bad? Pressuring someone to not be pressured by society sounds... backwards... to me.

Re: Challenging norms?

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I'm not pressuring her in anyway.
She saw me and thought I look pretty and she wanted to look pretty as well.

The fact that it is a social norm for girls to have long hair is beside the point, the point is many girls (and I was one of them) felt compelled to grow long hair simply because we are girls, no one bats an eyes when I guy haves his head, but when a girl chooses to lose her locks it's another story.
I think that as soon as the social norms are the same for boys and girls the better, and that means challenging the current norms.

Re: Challenging norms?

[hakuzo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I understand that very much! When I was young, I wanted long hair, but it wasn't something boys were allowed to do in my family. I've come to love my crew cuts and flat tops, but it haunted me as a child that I couldn't have a say about my own head, especially when the aunt that I really looked up to kept telling me I would look good with long hair. =/

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

Do you have a digital camera? I'm curious about the in-between 'do.

I'm glad you're feeling happier.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Pictures have been taken, I'll see if they're uploadble. If not I'll definately post a few of myself next time my hair grows out a bit.
I'm just dying to shave it, which I'm going to tomorrow, since my Granny is going home tonight.

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

I know I complimented your hairdo when we met but I'm uncertain if I ever told you that you look fantastic in that style. It really suits you.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

It's great to hear, since everyone is telling me how good I look with the inbetween do and I'm just not ready to grow out my hair, so thank you again.

[lifeofresearch.livejournal.com]

I do not know if you will read this post or respond but there are two things I want to thank you for because one was life changing condition. The first was you asked me what I were my dreams at 21 and that clarified some issues. The second was the advice you gave me about waxing or epliating my legs. That was a gender bending idea but I am "out" about it and plan to keep my legs smooth. Now, I am wondering about what color to paint my toenails.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

If you've got pale skin it's always better to go with a dark colour on your nails (if you're interested in making your feet noticed, of course :)
My suggestion, go with dark red, since it doesn't clash with most things and it looks great on pale toes.

I'm glad our conversations helped you, I'm not sure if I ever thanked you for your comments during the war, they were great help to me, knowing that the war wasn't viewed in such a one sided way as it was in the media.

[orcabee.livejournal.com]

coolness! oooh, pictures of short and spikey!!