"Bitch" and some nostalgia
Aug. 3rd, 2008 11:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eumeliaI recently saw a documentary about the word "slut", it's meanings etymological, social, political, personal etc.
Personally, I don't think I've ever been called a slut. If I was it was never to my face and kept secret from me.
It got me thinking though, of the pejoratives I had been called throughout my life and quite a large amount of High School Nostalgia.
Here's a list off the top of my head (with Hebrew as well, as I grew up and live in a non-English speaking environment):
כלבה - Bitch
פריקית - Freak
פוסטמה - slang for annoying or stupid female
לזבית - Lesbian (more like Dyke... in a bad way)
רעה - Mean or Bad
מכשפה - Witch (though oddly, not during my Wicca phase... funny how these things work).
חכמולוגית - Smart-ass
דפוקה - Fucked up
חצופה - Cheeky
נודניקית - Nag
כוסית - the word כוס is cunt, but the word is slang for an attractive woman, you can often hear it being hurled at you in the street, or spoken complementarity by your friends. I hate the word regardless as I'd rather not be referred to as a vagina... if someone is using the word near me I hope they're talking anatomy and not personality (or lack thereof).
In any event, the word I heard most, since I was 12 has been Bitch and it's varieties - the first time someone called me Klafta - קלעפטאה which is Yiddish for "Bitch" I burst out laughing.
Bitch is a word I like.
I've come to take pride in it, I heard it so much growing up I couldn't help but embrace it - if being called that name meant I wasn't teased and harassed every day then good, ya know.
Looking back on growing up, I can see a trend of boys being interested in me, romantically, sexually, whatever and I never noticed. Only in hindsight do I see that these obnoxious, irritating, self-entitled boys were hitting on me, coming on to me.
I mean, I thought most girls responded to that because they were dumb, not because that was the social cue of the day.
Which is still dumb - not the girls who followed the cue, the cue itself.
I was such a loner and self-involved that I'd missed the days where girls and boys were taught that language called "adolescent courtship" which I always interpreted as "stupid boys harassing me".
An anecdote:
When I was about 16, in the 11th grade, there was this jock - a basketball player - who for had it in for me.
At one point during a gym class, which I usually Daria-esquly eschewed for the Library, he came up to me and looked down on me which is not hard for an over 1.85 m (over 6") guy to do to a 1.60 m (just over 5") girl.
He said, "nice bra", with a smile.
As though it was the best compliment one could have given anyone.
I was completely shocked, that this guy, whom I didn't care to know just came up to me and said that. I gave him my Loner glare and told him to "Fuck off".
His entire demeanor cooled, he glared back at me and replied "Excuse me?"
"You're not" I said and told him to go away.
He then hissed at me "Bitch".
And I said "Thanks".
My reputation was slowly rising; I was going up from Loner Freak, to the Mean Loner Bitch.
Later that year that same jock broke his leg, I was informed by various people in his posse that he believed that I had put a curse on him, causing him to fall down the school stairs. I think perhaps the shock of a girl telling him to "fuck off" was a wee bit too much to him, but I digress.
In any event, he was a world class jerk and an idiot to boot.
This is, of course, not where the story ends.
For some reason he was having a hard time accepting the fact that I had zero interest in him as an individual, let alone as any kind of romance (ewwww). He went on harassing me, not that anyone cared, because after all this is how boys talk to girls and the girls reply in kind, because in the Holy Land we don't take shit, and call the boys names as well if we so please.
I've yet to see a girl stuff her hand down someones pants and snap the rubber of the underwear, like boys do to bra straps - but things are equal in school, uh huh.
Where was I, oh yes, he continued harassing me and while it bothered me, I made sure not to stoop to his level. I fumed silently, and ignored him and his friends.
At some point everyone got bored with this and things died down. On the final class trip, though, things erupted again and oddly enough, were never mentioned again - I was climbing rocks and this guy with a bunch of guys were helping people up the cliff. I was hauled up and I said "thank you" and the guy retorts "Not such a Bitch when you need help".
I was *this* close to kicking him, but my friend told me to forget it and I settled for calling him a Schmuk, which he didn't appreciate.
"I helped you up the cliff"
"The thing to say when someone thanks you is 'you're welcome', not Bitch. If you fall I hope you break your other leg"
He replied "I knew you cursed me!"
Aaaaand that's when I came to my senses and walked away from would have been a downward spiral into true idiocy.
One of the things I've come to realise is that I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only one harassed and hassled in high school. For being a weird girl, a Loner girl and all that.
And looking back on that, I have to say that without the word "Bitch", I probably wouldn't be the Grrl I am today.
So this isn't a pity-party, it's a "hmmmm, memories of a shitty adolescence" party!
I any event, I embraced the title of Bitch and carried it over to my Army service where it served me quite well. After I was discharged I toned it down, though I'm told that I'm quite aggressive still (abrasive and having "an attitude", as my family at times informs me), so I feel I live up to "Bitch".
*sigh* While hellish at the time, nostalgically High School had some good times. Though I'd slice off my nose if I had to do it again.
Personally, I don't think I've ever been called a slut. If I was it was never to my face and kept secret from me.
It got me thinking though, of the pejoratives I had been called throughout my life and quite a large amount of High School Nostalgia.
Here's a list off the top of my head (with Hebrew as well, as I grew up and live in a non-English speaking environment):
כלבה - Bitch
פריקית - Freak
פוסטמה - slang for annoying or stupid female
לזבית - Lesbian (more like Dyke... in a bad way)
רעה - Mean or Bad
מכשפה - Witch (though oddly, not during my Wicca phase... funny how these things work).
חכמולוגית - Smart-ass
דפוקה - Fucked up
חצופה - Cheeky
נודניקית - Nag
כוסית - the word כוס is cunt, but the word is slang for an attractive woman, you can often hear it being hurled at you in the street, or spoken complementarity by your friends. I hate the word regardless as I'd rather not be referred to as a vagina... if someone is using the word near me I hope they're talking anatomy and not personality (or lack thereof).
In any event, the word I heard most, since I was 12 has been Bitch and it's varieties - the first time someone called me Klafta - קלעפטאה which is Yiddish for "Bitch" I burst out laughing.
Bitch is a word I like.
I've come to take pride in it, I heard it so much growing up I couldn't help but embrace it - if being called that name meant I wasn't teased and harassed every day then good, ya know.
Looking back on growing up, I can see a trend of boys being interested in me, romantically, sexually, whatever and I never noticed. Only in hindsight do I see that these obnoxious, irritating, self-entitled boys were hitting on me, coming on to me.
I mean, I thought most girls responded to that because they were dumb, not because that was the social cue of the day.
Which is still dumb - not the girls who followed the cue, the cue itself.
I was such a loner and self-involved that I'd missed the days where girls and boys were taught that language called "adolescent courtship" which I always interpreted as "stupid boys harassing me".
An anecdote:
When I was about 16, in the 11th grade, there was this jock - a basketball player - who for had it in for me.
At one point during a gym class, which I usually Daria-esquly eschewed for the Library, he came up to me and looked down on me which is not hard for an over 1.85 m (over 6") guy to do to a 1.60 m (just over 5") girl.
He said, "nice bra", with a smile.
As though it was the best compliment one could have given anyone.
I was completely shocked, that this guy, whom I didn't care to know just came up to me and said that. I gave him my Loner glare and told him to "Fuck off".
His entire demeanor cooled, he glared back at me and replied "Excuse me?"
"You're not" I said and told him to go away.
He then hissed at me "Bitch".
And I said "Thanks".
My reputation was slowly rising; I was going up from Loner Freak, to the Mean Loner Bitch.
Later that year that same jock broke his leg, I was informed by various people in his posse that he believed that I had put a curse on him, causing him to fall down the school stairs. I think perhaps the shock of a girl telling him to "fuck off" was a wee bit too much to him, but I digress.
In any event, he was a world class jerk and an idiot to boot.
This is, of course, not where the story ends.
For some reason he was having a hard time accepting the fact that I had zero interest in him as an individual, let alone as any kind of romance (ewwww). He went on harassing me, not that anyone cared, because after all this is how boys talk to girls and the girls reply in kind, because in the Holy Land we don't take shit, and call the boys names as well if we so please.
I've yet to see a girl stuff her hand down someones pants and snap the rubber of the underwear, like boys do to bra straps - but things are equal in school, uh huh.
Where was I, oh yes, he continued harassing me and while it bothered me, I made sure not to stoop to his level. I fumed silently, and ignored him and his friends.
At some point everyone got bored with this and things died down. On the final class trip, though, things erupted again and oddly enough, were never mentioned again - I was climbing rocks and this guy with a bunch of guys were helping people up the cliff. I was hauled up and I said "thank you" and the guy retorts "Not such a Bitch when you need help".
I was *this* close to kicking him, but my friend told me to forget it and I settled for calling him a Schmuk, which he didn't appreciate.
"I helped you up the cliff"
"The thing to say when someone thanks you is 'you're welcome', not Bitch. If you fall I hope you break your other leg"
He replied "I knew you cursed me!"
Aaaaand that's when I came to my senses and walked away from would have been a downward spiral into true idiocy.
One of the things I've come to realise is that I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only one harassed and hassled in high school. For being a weird girl, a Loner girl and all that.
And looking back on that, I have to say that without the word "Bitch", I probably wouldn't be the Grrl I am today.
So this isn't a pity-party, it's a "hmmmm, memories of a shitty adolescence" party!
I any event, I embraced the title of Bitch and carried it over to my Army service where it served me quite well. After I was discharged I toned it down, though I'm told that I'm quite aggressive still (abrasive and having "an attitude", as my family at times informs me), so I feel I live up to "Bitch".
*sigh* While hellish at the time, nostalgically High School had some good times. Though I'd slice off my nose if I had to do it again.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:44 pm (UTC)Really.
Maybe you can shed some light on the issue for me?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:55 pm (UTC)I sympathise and empathise.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:41 pm (UTC)*goes to google*
no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:50 pm (UTC)I think you'll like them.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 08:52 pm (UTC)I'll def. check them out.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-04 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-04 07:48 am (UTC)