"Maybe it was accidental?"

[eumelia]

There was a small conference about Sexual Harassment on Campus.

It's a subject that has been hitting the Israeli Blogosphere (both feminist and otherwise) over the past month or so because a very brave Master's student by the name of Ortal Ben-Dayan (אורטל בן דיין) published her experience as a BA student and the affair she had with her Sociology Professor at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem.
Her biting and humour filled article can be read in Hebrew here.

Ms. Ben-Dayan breaks down her experience with this man and contextualizes it within the prism of Ashkenazi Academic Elite and her being a minority woman of colour (she is Mizrahi, specifically of Moroccan descent) and how that affected the unequal balance of power already present within the Professor-Student dynamic.

Ms. Ben-Dayan was one of the four speakers at this little conference and she spoke with dignity and without shame, though she admitted that speaking aloud about her experience is much more embarrassing than just writing about on a social commentary on-line magazine - Ha'Oketz.

All four speakers were excellent and touched on different issues concerning power, identity and the treatment sexual harassment receives in the public and how despite University campus' being considered the same as any other work place under the Sexual Harassment Law in Israel, almost no legal action is done to prevent it. There are no workshops for lecturers, students and campus workers in the subject, when there are supposed to be.
At this point getting a complaint to even be addressed is difficult - there is a hot-line students that have been sexually harassed (women only volunteers) can call, they give counseling and information on what can be done.

But it seems like such a drop in the ocean.

Another great thing about this panel was that three of the women were of colour; two of them Mizrahi Jewish women, one the aformentioned sociology MA student (Ortal Ben-Dayan) and a lawyer (Dr. Yifat Biton); the other (ha! pun) a Palestinian social worker (Ragjda Alnabulsi) and the fourth woman was a Lesbian Ashkenazi women (Dorit Abramovitch).

I was really impressed with what they had to say.

It also brought to my mind all the little sexual harassments I've experienced over the years. I've never been raped or sexually assaulted, but that's because I've been insanely lucky - no more, no less.

All women have been sexually harassed. It's an everyday thing. I've been stripped (by that special gaze) more times than I can count, I've been "accidentally" touched more times than I can remember while I've stood in a crowded bus, train or street. I've been deliberately groped once when I fell asleep on a train. I've been told to smile. I've been told, while working for my father, cleaning his windows, that I'd look really good cleaning your windows. During gym classes I was whistled at and told I had a great rack. After those gym classes my bra strap would be pulled and snapped - my breasts jiggled. I was called bitch, whore, cunt, dyke, etc. etc.
I could go on.
But these are everyday things.
There is no need for anyone to be held accounted for.
Right?

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

All women have been sexually harassed. It's an everyday thing. I've been stripped more times than I can count, I've been "accidentally" touched more times than I can remember while I've stood in a crowded bus, train or street. I've been deliberately groped once when I fell asleep on a train. I've been told to smile. I've been told, while working for my father, cleaning his windows, that I'd look really good cleaning your windows. During gym classes I was whistled at and told I had a great rack. After those gym classes my bra strap would be pulled and snapped - my breasts jiggled. I was called bitch, whore, cunt, dyke, etc. etc.

A then-friend could NOT comprehend (http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/367400.html) this when I wrote something in this vein and instead tried telling me that men have it hard, too (and I only refound that entry on a whim and think I was much too patient in my responses). Since then, I've become less inclined to indulge ignorance and privilege, especially when the other person isn't even trying.

Your link struck a chord. A friend of mine was just telling me a story identical to the one you link to, only it happened (or still happens) at University of Austin.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I just read that thread.
Good God, man, way to lose the point of the entire point.

And BTW, it's not a blanket statement. All men, by default, are in a position of power (intersectionality put into account), some aren't assholes. Most of them aren't, of course.
But good intentions, hell... you know the drill.

Did you read the link? Your language skills scare me with your awesomeness.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

Aw, blush :)

Arrogance and paranoia often make it difficult to form connections with other people, which becomes a hindrance both in social settings as well as in following a train of thought that most people would get. I didn't really understand that until I met, befriended, and very briefly dated this man. I actually appreciate what he taught me. I learned a lot from him, even though it wasn't very nice.

I think the reason a lot of people don't want to own up to their privilege is because they mistake privilage with being a jackass and a perpetrator ... as opposed to recognizing that what they were born with and how society views them doesn't mean they have to buy into it and continue a cycle of discrimination and violence. Which is sadly what a lot of people do when they deny their privilege and get snarky as my friend did.

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

I just read that, and was nodding a lot to his comments until I actually went back and read what you wrote that provoked those words. He definitely missed the point and I don't see anything in your entry that I disagree with.

For what it's worth, though, I can't remember the last time I cried, either, and I think you, Mel, and I can all agree I'm not a macho or even very masculine man. I've felt tears well up and a few have even managed to break through but I've not cried in I couldn't tell you how long. Five years, maybe? I'm pretty sure I cried when fighting with my parents right before I left Tennesee for Oregon but that was partially fueled by rage.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

Sounds like you're simply the sort of person who isn't too much into tears is all. Kinda different from buying into society's decree that you must hold it all in or risk not being "man enough", I think, which is what I disagree with.

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

That wasn't clear in your entry, but yeah, I guess I'm just not much of a crier, but it's definitely not for those reasons. The tears that leaked out were from watching "The Body" from BtVS. I seriously tear up every time.

[lotus82.livejournal.com]

We also had a rally on our campus [BGU].
I'm reading Ben-Dayan's article and the things that professor said infuriate me, really. And this:
הסתובב פרופסור א' כמו טווס וסיפר לכל חברי הסגל שהוא מרגיש רב-תרבותי כי היה לו רומן עם סטודנטית מרוקאית
makes me want to kick him in his alef-alef balls.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the ball-kicking!

The ironic thing is, that in sociology they really should be aware of this power-play. Just goes to show that asserting power really takes away your perspective... even if your perspective was racist in the first place.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

Could I have a translation? My Hebrew is still very poor :(

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Translation: Prof "A" walked around like a peacock telling the staff how multicultural he is because he had an affair with a Moroccan student.

*vomit*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

?????????????????? 0_0

This brings to mind statements like "I'm not racist! I have a black friend and everything!"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

Did he, like, threaten the student if she didn't submit or something? Is there an English language version I can read?

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

No, it was consensual, that's part of the point with the whole power dynamics thing.

When Ms. Ben-Dayan spoke today she said that as a young twenty year old from the Periphery (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Development_town) she was flattered to get a Prof. attention and that it was a "natural" progression. Obviously, this is not the case and these things don't happen in a vacuum, and these Prof. take advantage of students in her position and all that, you know.

Also, in regards to your other comment. Israeli culture has no shame. There is no such thing as Politically Correct, being PC is considered fakery and falseness, as though you've got something to hide.
I (try to) speak in respectful language, but I'm also very un-PC at times.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

That's sad the guy really doesn't seem to get it. Naomi, my friend who went to U of Austin, was there years ago before the school even had a women's health center. She said it was typical for male professors to ask about your family, because they'd pass over daughters of ranchers and oil guys (i.e. women who were protected by rich and powerful people) and go for the poor girls of little background with no safety net in the area. Apparently it was quite a problem.

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

Rav-tarbuti=multi-cultural?

Oy.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Yeah... it's pretty awful.

[lotus82.livejournal.com]

Oy indeed.

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

I read alef-alef as falafel. I'm not sure what your phrase means but I like my version better.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yggdrasil/]

I do, too.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! I've got a really bad mental image now.

[arnavtul.livejournal.com]

oh yeah! I hear you!
I wanted to go but I had class at that time.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Oh, boo.

Never mind, there's a plan to have another one sometime soon (i.e. early in the new Semester), I'm on the mailing list. I'll keep you updated?

[arnavtul.livejournal.com]

thanks :) appreciate it!