If it weren't 2 a.m I'd have been screaming!

[eumelia]

Last night.

Half-past one in the morning.

I'm turned Frida off and walked the short distance from our lounge to my bedroom when I heared the distinct sounds of an insect knocking against things in my room.

Methinks: Oh a large moth has entered my room. I shall switch on a light in a different room so that it may leave.

As I formulate this plan in my head I enter my room and see that this moth is in fact not even related to Heterocera.

It was in fact a flying Blattaria - in English - a Cockroach.

Methinks: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THERE'S A HUGE FUCKING ROACH FLYING AROUND MY FUCKING ROOM!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

It being quite late at night I kept these thoughts to myself.

Wish was bloody useless, staring at the monstrosity as it flew around my room in order to find a good vantage point so that it could kill me in my sleep. I'm certain that was it's satanic plan as it flew in my window at a time I would have been asleep.

It took me about fifteen minutes to even return to my room - for some reason I grabbed my hand bag and was clutching it, I then discarded that for a rolled up piece of Newspaper which is a marginally better weapon against roaches.

I opened my door every few minutes to see if it flew out.
It didn't.
And me, I'm all alone, I really can't go waking up any one of the masculine gender in my house at the moment because it was two fucking a.m. in the morning.

When I next opened the door I saw that it had gone to the floor and was no longer flying around - thank GD *shudders* - so armed with a Newspaper, I grabbed one of my Dr. Martens and stood ready for the huge fucker to leave my room, which it did because it obviously smelled me *shudders again* and as it approached I pounced!

I killed the bastard, fucking smashed the life out of it.
The first roach I've killed in about four years - for some reason during my stint of boot camp, when I was 18 and wet behind the ears, I was designated critter killer with the rest of my platoon. Despite the fact that every time an insect came into our room I shrieked along with the rest of them... it's just that I could kill it while I was shrieking.

I generally don't like taking the lives of things, but roaches (and incidentally mosquitoes and flies) are fair game.
They're the ones who will inherit the Earth anyway, but as long as I'm here they can have an eco-system that doesn't include my house!

I'm still shaken up and everything that moves in my peripheral vision looks like a huge Gregor Samsa to me.

It's at these times when I hate the fear that has been culturally imprinted onto me, this fear of insects which intellectually I know can't hurt me, but scare the shit out of me! I can barely look at them, with their brownness and in the words of Cordelia Chase "their antlers".
Gah!
But I can kill them alone and that's what counts.
Right?

Comments

DIE BUG DIE!

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

They're the ones who will inherit the Earth anyway, but as long as I'm here they can have an eco-system that doesn't include my house!

That's my philosophy exactly! Useful insects like spiders should be protected, harmful ones like roaches and mosquitoes can die. Fortunately, we may have giant spiders here, but all the roaches are up north in Sydney and the tropics! Blattaria is an excellent name though, and sounds just like what's left of them after they're squashed!

Re: DIE BUG DIE!

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

That was pretty much what I was chanting in my head as I brought my shoe down.
Yuck, those things are gross and scary. I kept feeling that creepy crawly sensation when you're freaking out.

[hemlock-sholes.livejournal.com]

Thank you

My Hero !

:)

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Robbie, it was huge and gross and scary!!!!!

Don't think that just because I can kill them myself i won't be running screaming to you and handing you a boot.

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

I obviously don't like to kill animals either, but cockroaches & mosquitoes are my two exceptions. I've tried natural methods to keep them away - but it's Australia and i'm not the neatest of people so they are inevitable!

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I don't mind spiders, geckos, praying mantis', huge bees (I just leave the window open, they generally leave towards fresh air), but that roaches are disgusting, brown, huge, crawly children of demons, devils put on this earth to creep us out.

And eat crumbs, garbage and infest places.

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

I don't mind spiders, geckos, praying mantis', huge bees...but that roaches are disgusting, brown, huge, crawly children of demons, devils put on this earth to creep us out. agreed/ditto!!

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

BTW, have you been getting the comments for the Seder food?

Someone posted a gluten-free food blog, that looks great in general not just for the holiday.

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

Yes i have, that blog is really fantastic. I was thinking of making the first salad that came up, it looks so fresh and yummy and will be a good counterbalance to the richer food my host is sure to be making (apparently i'm getting spicy roasted veggies & flourless chocolate cake along with the spiced radishes :D.) I've been a bit shy about commenting in weirdjews though i'd like to thank people for their help :).

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I shall tell them in your name, if you want?

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

Works for me, thanks ^-^

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

I grew up in a home so old and kept so poorly before we moved in that the kitchen counters remained black a good fifteen seconds after you turned the light on night.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Wow... ewwww!

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It took us a couple years to get it under control. It was pretty gross.