More things I don't usually blog about

[eumelia]

Part the first and not to forget that these are the answers to the Meme.

The car I drive

We have one car and it's a Renault Kangoo. It's a gear engine, meaning that during rush hour it is a pain to drive and in my itsy-bitsy country every hour is rush hour.
I enjoy driving alone, but because of my slight paranoia I drive much more carefully when I'm in company than alone and I hate driving while my parents are passengers, it's uncomfortable any way you look at it.

Women, Men and In between

What could be more complicated than that when society gives us such inadequate tools in dealing with the same and the opposite sex/gender/what-have-you.
It's no secret that I'm "swing both ways" as they say.

Instinctively I'd say my initial physical attraction is pretty gender neutral, I'm attracted to certain things in every individual because each person has their own special look, yeah I like peculiar noses, or just special noses on faces and such, but I don't have a specific type except maybe tall-masculine and curvy-feminine.
I think I generally connect better emotionally to women and I don't particularly enjoy the look of male genitalia... but if I connect to the person it doesn't matter to me what's between the legs of the person.

Because of the fluid nature of sexuality it's hard for me to quantify which gender or sex I'm attracted to more or less, connect to more or less, I just want to connect with people on every level and that's in general very difficult to do.

Activism - where I fit in and my thoughts in general

I only began to be really active in the past two years so I'm really trying to find where I feel most comfortable in the huge array of Leftist social activism in Israel, which is as diverse as can be due to the turbulent nature of our little stretch of land.
At this point I consider myself affiliated with feminism, queer pride, anti-oppression, anti-war and anti-occupation, I don't know at this point how to incorporate all of them into action even though my own ideas, ideals and principles include all those things.
So I'm registered to a bunch of email lists that let me know of activities, I'm friends with people who do more than me or are actually members of groups and organizations and they let me know when stuff is happening.

I don't do nearly enough, but I know I do more than a lot of people, so I'm trying to juggle the whole Uni thing as well, which is a bit overwhelming. Not to mention that being active, puts yourself a whole lot more out there and exposed, which this little sheltered child was never exposed to as a child - I mean I knew it happened to other people and I knew that my parents were active in South Africa, but by the time I came along those times were long past (goodbye 70's, hello 80's).

Activism in Israel (like anywhere when you think about it) especially Left activism can, at times, be very divisive; what issue is more important? The Occupation? Women's Rights? Israeli Palestinians Rights? Queer Right? Privatization of public offices and issues?
All these things are a part of the same symptom, which gives the whole "One Struggle" theme a great deal of validity, but on the other hand it ignores the inherent differences and history of each issue and aspect - like at times anti-Occupation actions ignore the fact that when you're affirming one national identity (Palestine) you're calling the cancellation of another (Israel), it just doesn't work that way.
Or the way Queer activism calls for equal rights in marriage when there isn't even civil marriage in Israel... let's get rid of the Rabbanut before we start with specific demands to certain communities.
And all that.

So that's what I think.
Yeah.

Comments

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

I think i'd give a pretty similar answer to women, men and in between. Just curious, where on the kinsey scale do you feel you are?

I liked what you had to say about activism too. You're good with words m'dear ^-^

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I'd say over-all I'm a Kinsay 3 and I fluctuate towards 2 and 4 at certain times.

Awww, thanks hon! Maybe one day I'll make money with my words... that's my ambition :D I'd really like to be a pro-writer of some kind, though in what capacity is still a mystery.

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

I think i'm about a 4.5 overall but i move between 4, 5 and 6 at times too. It's nice to hear someone talk about fluctuating, i believe sexuality is fluid, but one doesn't see much evidence of that in our society!

You're most welcome, compliments where they're due and all that. Ditto on the writing, although it's only really the ghost of a hope now.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Society and most people in fact are uncomfortable with things that aren't fixed. Nobody likes travelers and wanderers, there's a reason Gypsies and Jews were/are vilified. And in our times when identity itself is seen to shift and cahnge, that the way you were raised doesn't mean shit about the way you're going to live and all... it's difficult for a lot of people to wrap their minds around the fact that people don't fit into the little ticky-tacky boxes.

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it :/.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Thought I just did ;D

Though the sad face is understandable... think how much more liberated we actually are, yeah it doesn't feel like it because we have to conform to societies expectations of us, but we have our little rebellions and we get to be outside the spectrum.

[bitter-moss.livejournal.com]

;)

Yeah, i think myself into complex knots over all of it though, wondering how much of my behavior is due to rebellion, a desire to be different, a desire to do what makes sense to me, subconscious reinforcement of the dominant paradigm due to my parents or my fear of being stared at e.t.c.

Although i don't think i am 'regular' in any aspect except my gender identity. I am firmly a biological and cultural woman. Gender roles on the other hand, there i differ from the mainstream. Gah it is too late for my brain to comprehend all this properly. I really need to have my shower and go to bed :p.

I do feel liberated though, i've always questioned things, not simply for the sake of it, but because i do always want to know why. I only wish it was more common. People don't question their leaders or factory farms e.t.c and look what we end up with!