Contemplating Trauma
Nov. 9th, 2007 03:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eumeliaI read an article in Ha'aretz today, the weekend magazine ran an article called My God, What did we do? by Dalia Karpel about a new documentary that reveals the trauma of female IDF soldiers of the (first) Intifada. Just a warning, the article can be difficult to read for some, so enter with caution.
In the article, the six women who appear in the documentary speak a little about they had to do there. They are all in their early to mid-thirties, seeing as they were in their late teens to early twenties at the time. In the article the phrase "shell-shock" is used over and over again, as these women talk about the how they felt during and after their military service in the Territories.
The term "shell-shock" is a benign and archaic way to say Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is somewhat endemic to this part of the world. I very much empathized with the women in the article in this regard, having also experienced the symptoms and what the knowledge of what they had to do in the name of "security".
In the article itself there is no new information about what goes on in the Territories, everyone knows what the Army and Shabak do in order to maintain the status quo, I don't think women react more harshly or differently to the men serving there, what makes the difference is the amount of women serving there, which is much lower than men. Even in the Border Patrol unit, which is a somewhat more egalitarian unit (and notoriously abusive towards Palestinian civilians) has a much lower percentage of women serving in it. Making the phenomenon of combat PTSD in women a little rarer than in men, which in Israel is very prevalent.
The degree of PTSD varies, in some people it is a debilitating mental health problem requiring intense therapy and at times psychiatric treatment, in others it can come across as mild mood swings and slight depression. One thing I've noticed, from my reading and personal experience, is that one is obsessed, or has obsessive intrusive thoughts or memories clamoring inside the brain.
Until I began going to therapy I had severe mood swings, dissociative episodes and occasional flashback (those were the most disturbing symptoms since they are intrusive and noticeable to other people).
Mood-swings still happen though to a much lesser degree, haven't had a recurrence of dissociation or flashbacks in months, there are dreams I know are about the War, though thankfully I don't remember them and merely wake up in a bad mood. I'm a little more hyper-aware than normal and slightly more paranoid than is considered normal. There are a few triggers that gets my adrenaline pumping unnaturally, though I've since learned to rationalize my response making it virtually unnoticeable and un-intrusive... like the phone ringing, but very specific rings which thankfully none of my home phones have... I changed my ring-tone because of my jumpy response, which I've been told looks quite funny to outside onlookers.
That's just me, I'm screwed up, but not too much, I get to have a semi-normal life in this very abnormal environment.
Israel itself is inflicted with a kind collective Trauma, we are constantly told that we are in danger of annihilation, a very real danger a few decades ago and partially successful before that. All the persecution, mass murder and wanderings are imprinted onto our collective identity I think.
It's something that needs to be redefined, because this victimization is what, to a certain extent, is what is keeping us, as a people, from moving forwards from what made this country a possibility.
At this point we are no longer a victim, almost all the major Holidays in Judaism can be summarized as "They tried to kill. They failed. Let's Eat!"
They failed and we're still afraid They (whoever "They" are) are going to try again, despite having guns, bombers and Übermensch mentality.
I wonder when we're going to go back to our Jewish roots and celebrate the life we created here instead of counting the dead all the time.
In the article, the six women who appear in the documentary speak a little about they had to do there. They are all in their early to mid-thirties, seeing as they were in their late teens to early twenties at the time. In the article the phrase "shell-shock" is used over and over again, as these women talk about the how they felt during and after their military service in the Territories.
The term "shell-shock" is a benign and archaic way to say Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is somewhat endemic to this part of the world. I very much empathized with the women in the article in this regard, having also experienced the symptoms and what the knowledge of what they had to do in the name of "security".
In the article itself there is no new information about what goes on in the Territories, everyone knows what the Army and Shabak do in order to maintain the status quo, I don't think women react more harshly or differently to the men serving there, what makes the difference is the amount of women serving there, which is much lower than men. Even in the Border Patrol unit, which is a somewhat more egalitarian unit (and notoriously abusive towards Palestinian civilians) has a much lower percentage of women serving in it. Making the phenomenon of combat PTSD in women a little rarer than in men, which in Israel is very prevalent.
The degree of PTSD varies, in some people it is a debilitating mental health problem requiring intense therapy and at times psychiatric treatment, in others it can come across as mild mood swings and slight depression. One thing I've noticed, from my reading and personal experience, is that one is obsessed, or has obsessive intrusive thoughts or memories clamoring inside the brain.
Until I began going to therapy I had severe mood swings, dissociative episodes and occasional flashback (those were the most disturbing symptoms since they are intrusive and noticeable to other people).
Mood-swings still happen though to a much lesser degree, haven't had a recurrence of dissociation or flashbacks in months, there are dreams I know are about the War, though thankfully I don't remember them and merely wake up in a bad mood. I'm a little more hyper-aware than normal and slightly more paranoid than is considered normal. There are a few triggers that gets my adrenaline pumping unnaturally, though I've since learned to rationalize my response making it virtually unnoticeable and un-intrusive... like the phone ringing, but very specific rings which thankfully none of my home phones have... I changed my ring-tone because of my jumpy response, which I've been told looks quite funny to outside onlookers.
That's just me, I'm screwed up, but not too much, I get to have a semi-normal life in this very abnormal environment.
Israel itself is inflicted with a kind collective Trauma, we are constantly told that we are in danger of annihilation, a very real danger a few decades ago and partially successful before that. All the persecution, mass murder and wanderings are imprinted onto our collective identity I think.
It's something that needs to be redefined, because this victimization is what, to a certain extent, is what is keeping us, as a people, from moving forwards from what made this country a possibility.
At this point we are no longer a victim, almost all the major Holidays in Judaism can be summarized as "They tried to kill. They failed. Let's Eat!"
They failed and we're still afraid They (whoever "They" are) are going to try again, despite having guns, bombers and Übermensch mentality.
I wonder when we're going to go back to our Jewish roots and celebrate the life we created here instead of counting the dead all the time.
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-09 05:23 pm (UTC)do you see any kind of revision going on within the country with the younger generation growing up?
from an outside perspective i feel like you guys are caught in a cycle... and maybe i am being super obvious and totally unoriginal about this... but it's like, israel is aggressive in the territories, which makes the palestinians pissed... the palestinians are pissed and israel feels threatened (is threatened) hence more aggression in the territories (stemming from real and perceived violence)... ok.. i feel like im being really obvious. i guess what i mean to say is, wow... it's interesting to hear about this from someone who is there.
are there a lot of israelis who agree with the status quo in israel? is it mainly the older generations or are the young israelis following the same way of thinking?
and yes, even in the diaspora, i think the victim mentality is alive and kicking... it needs to go.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-09 06:55 pm (UTC)http://electronicintifada.net/v2/article9082.shtml
no subject
Date: 2007-11-10 06:45 am (UTC)What do you mean by "agree with the status quo"? Not sure I'm reading this correctly.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-12 02:11 pm (UTC)The "Left" wants them gone, the "Right" wants more of them. If we're going to be simplistic about it.
The status quo as you said in your comment, is one sided, Israel does have much more power and influence, no doubt, but Israel will not likely budge if it gets a guarantee that Hamas will stop firing Qussam rockets and that removing the wall and check-points stop terrorists (from the various groups) from infiltrating.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-09 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-09 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-11 02:25 pm (UTC)That was an interesting read.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-11 03:06 pm (UTC)Usually it's remembering things really vividly or remembering how I felt at the time and being overwhelmed by those feelings again.