A Year in Perspective
Jul. 25th, 2007 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eumeliaWe are currently in what a year ago was a part of the Second Lebanon War.
Those of you who followed this blog since know it's been a rough year for me, probably the crappiest I've ever experienced, since you can't really count the roller coater hormone rides of teenage life truly crappy. At least mine weren't.
I envy people who had the worst time in their lives during their teens; that can be put behind and one can move past that.
I still think about the War, it changed me profoundly, some for the better, mainly for the worst. It made me an extreme person, more than I was before. It made me a whole lot more angry, it changed my view on people and why people do what they do in general.
I remember the exact date, day, it was afternoon, I remember crying to Daddy for almost an hour, going back to the army the day after and be bleary eyed and working on auto-pilot, feeling abandoned and tired.
Wanting to go home, unable to abandon the people who needed me at that time.
Later on I knew I would never be able to serve in the Army again, my faith and trust in the Army (the Generals to be precise) was blown away with the man I saw die.
Did I ever tell?
Write about it?
I was looking through the tags found this post where I mention seeing it and the two linked posts allude to it, but nothing explicit.
What am I supposed to do? Trying to visualise it is... well a nightmare.
I spoke to my therapist about and almost cried, again.
I hate this fucked up feeling.
I'm sick of it.
Not two days ago I was having the time of my life, nothing was bad except a few parts in "Harry Potter 7" and now it's a year's anniversary to the death of a man whose name I don't know (nor do I care to find out) whose goal in life was to kill Israeli's and I can't stop caring!
I hate this.
A lot.
But tomorrow I'm going to Fantasy-Con where I'll see "Fraggle Rock" and buy Comic Books and all will be... a little bit better.
In addition, the genocide in Darfur must be stopped.
וכמו כן, צריך לעצור את רצח העם בדרפור.
Those of you who followed this blog since know it's been a rough year for me, probably the crappiest I've ever experienced, since you can't really count the roller coater hormone rides of teenage life truly crappy. At least mine weren't.
I envy people who had the worst time in their lives during their teens; that can be put behind and one can move past that.
I still think about the War, it changed me profoundly, some for the better, mainly for the worst. It made me an extreme person, more than I was before. It made me a whole lot more angry, it changed my view on people and why people do what they do in general.
I remember the exact date, day, it was afternoon, I remember crying to Daddy for almost an hour, going back to the army the day after and be bleary eyed and working on auto-pilot, feeling abandoned and tired.
Wanting to go home, unable to abandon the people who needed me at that time.
Later on I knew I would never be able to serve in the Army again, my faith and trust in the Army (the Generals to be precise) was blown away with the man I saw die.
Did I ever tell?
Write about it?
I was looking through the tags found this post where I mention seeing it and the two linked posts allude to it, but nothing explicit.
What am I supposed to do? Trying to visualise it is... well a nightmare.
I spoke to my therapist about and almost cried, again.
I hate this fucked up feeling.
I'm sick of it.
Not two days ago I was having the time of my life, nothing was bad except a few parts in "Harry Potter 7" and now it's a year's anniversary to the death of a man whose name I don't know (nor do I care to find out) whose goal in life was to kill Israeli's and I can't stop caring!
I hate this.
A lot.
But tomorrow I'm going to Fantasy-Con where I'll see "Fraggle Rock" and buy Comic Books and all will be... a little bit better.
In addition, the genocide in Darfur must be stopped.
וכמו כן, צריך לעצור את רצח העם בדרפור.
