*knock knock*
Jan. 18th, 2013 08:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eumeliaHi.
I haven't been around much this week.
I'm sorry if I missed something really important, but I don't think I can go through all the posts in my lists to find out. :/
It's been over a week and a half since I last posted.
The reason I've been absent from here and more on the fast paced and less verbose platforms is because I've been extremely busy and tired and feeling guilty about not writing here lately.
Last week due to the storm and feeling cold all the time, I mainly sat around wrapped in blankets and didn't even acquire any of the shows I'd been following lately, preferring to stare at the television screen in my parents' living room and chat with friends while the noise droned on.
This week I'd just felt overwhelmed and lacking in energy after long days at work. I've been given new responsibilities and a big push professionally and I'm under a lot of pressure, suddenly.
January is a rough month regardless, it being the month in which my cousin passed away last year and a bunch of other horrible things happened and changed the course of 2012 FOREVER.
Fandom has also been giving me angst, I know I don't have to read reactions, and I know I'm not really as isolated as I feel, but I wanted to post meta, I didn't, mainly because I was overwhelmed by feelings about fandom, my place in it, whether I have anything of worth to add to the discourse and even if I do, does anyone care.
Add to that that I'm blocked and I'm not particularly inspired by much of what my fandom has been producing (though hopefully that will change now that the hiatus is over?), that makes me feel even more ill at ease.
Whine whine, whinge whinge. I know.
The thing is, and it had to be pointed out to me while I was moping and at my most pathetic, that I do have a voice and I am participating, but you know, Hawaii Five-0 is a hard fandom for me.
I love the show and I love the friends that I've made, but the fandom... I don't always feel there is a place for multiplicity. I don't feel that marginal voices get the attention and amplification they need and I speak as someone who is a shipper for the main ship (among others).
I was spoiled in previous fandoms. But this also one of the first fandoms in which I participated in beyond a discussion here and there and with meta.
Sometimes it feels like I'm doing fandom wrong. But I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles.
I've been consoling myself by reading Dwarf fanfic. I want a beard.
I haven't been around much this week.
I'm sorry if I missed something really important, but I don't think I can go through all the posts in my lists to find out. :/
It's been over a week and a half since I last posted.
The reason I've been absent from here and more on the fast paced and less verbose platforms is because I've been extremely busy and tired and feeling guilty about not writing here lately.
Last week due to the storm and feeling cold all the time, I mainly sat around wrapped in blankets and didn't even acquire any of the shows I'd been following lately, preferring to stare at the television screen in my parents' living room and chat with friends while the noise droned on.
This week I'd just felt overwhelmed and lacking in energy after long days at work. I've been given new responsibilities and a big push professionally and I'm under a lot of pressure, suddenly.
January is a rough month regardless, it being the month in which my cousin passed away last year and a bunch of other horrible things happened and changed the course of 2012 FOREVER.
Fandom has also been giving me angst, I know I don't have to read reactions, and I know I'm not really as isolated as I feel, but I wanted to post meta, I didn't, mainly because I was overwhelmed by feelings about fandom, my place in it, whether I have anything of worth to add to the discourse and even if I do, does anyone care.
Add to that that I'm blocked and I'm not particularly inspired by much of what my fandom has been producing (though hopefully that will change now that the hiatus is over?), that makes me feel even more ill at ease.
Whine whine, whinge whinge. I know.
The thing is, and it had to be pointed out to me while I was moping and at my most pathetic, that I do have a voice and I am participating, but you know, Hawaii Five-0 is a hard fandom for me.
I love the show and I love the friends that I've made, but the fandom... I don't always feel there is a place for multiplicity. I don't feel that marginal voices get the attention and amplification they need and I speak as someone who is a shipper for the main ship (among others).
I was spoiled in previous fandoms. But this also one of the first fandoms in which I participated in beyond a discussion here and there and with meta.
Sometimes it feels like I'm doing fandom wrong. But I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles.
I've been consoling myself by reading Dwarf fanfic. I want a beard.
