I Dig Blue Chicks - an "Avatar" review

[eumelia]

I went with my sib-in-law on Wednesday to see Avatar.

A friend of mine put it very nicely: "Avatar" is visually gorgeous, narratively redundant. It's a fairly good assessment of the entire movie.

As you can see, I didn't think it was very good - plot wise, it was one of the most derivative movies I'd ever seen. I feel like I should have TV Tropes open so that I can refer to it as I go along.

Well, in the name of fairness, I'm putting the review behind a cut.
It was a conglomeration of Pocahontas, Dune, Starship Trupers and Apocalypse Now!.
Oh and practically the entire history of the white part of humanity.

You know what would have made the movie better, if only a little bit less predictable?

If humanity had won.

Callous? You bet, because it was just one trope after trope, cliche after cliche.

Noble Savage? Check.
Inter-racialspecies romance? Check.
Humans are greedy? Check.
The Natives revolt? Check.
Good Human^tm joins the Noble Savage is a Chosen One and defeats the Greedy Humans^tm? Check.
Sex with the Native Daughter of the Chief and Shaman, solidifies his "connection" with the Savages? Check.
Good Human^tm is disabled and through the Special Natural Powers of the Savages is accepted and becomes "whole again"? Check.

I could go on and on and on. I honestly do not feel that I need to get into the fact that the movie was a mish-mash of racist white supremacist imperialism.
Because, dear god it wasn't even apologetic is the freakin' stereotypes it was perpetuating every single Othering strategy available unto the Navajo Na'vi.

The lack of clothing, the "special connection" to the land.
There was no need to dehumanise them... they're not Human!

The fact that the hero (the disabled marine who went on this mission to make money... the whole reason they're there is to mkae money) was the Saviour, the Chosen and ultimately the Chief, because the old one died and so did his replacement, irked me.
Irked me, as in, pissed me the fuck off. What the Stupid, Infantile, Nearly-Naked Natives are too stupid to realise that in order to defeat the people who come from the sky that they need better weapons?

A white person can stand among the oppressed and aid them in the resources that they have as a white person.

To be their Saviour, is no better than to be their Conqueror.

Not to mention that his disability as a human is shown to be a practically un-liveable reality, that being closer to the Na'vi is shown to be a more "natural" state of being.

Really, it wouldn't have bothered me that he "went native", because the weird sci-fi explanation as to why the avatar project exists ('cause the atmosphere is unsuitable for humans) makes sense within the internal logic of the movie, and he became friends and helped the Na'vi.
But was it really necessary for him to be the Hero and not the Sidekick.
Was it really necessary that it be told through his eyes and not, say, Neytiri (the "blue chick) - also, for him to not be the Saviour and Chosen One and the Only One who can Save Na'vi Kind!

It was a crap story. It was a crap concept. It was crap sci-fi. It was a crap space opera.

If it wasn't 3D and didn't make us Feel Good^tm that we (white humanity) was finally punished for the Bad Things We've Done Unto The Nations, then it would have been just another crap second rate b-movie.

Far from making me feel good about the fact that Humanity lost it's chance to gain, hahaha, Unobtainium (who the hell was the copywriter for that name?!), it made me cringe at every line I could say before it was pronounced, at every sexist, racist and cliche trope that was set before me on screen.

Sigourny Weaver played the bleeding heart botanist-cum-biologist-cum-anthropologist-cum-peace crop teacher who died.
Yeah, it made me feel real good!

The movie ended and I had a headache from the 3D glasses. Unfortunately, there was no void stuff that suggested an escape from the movie theatre.

Comments

[nurint.livejournal.com]

I think I figured it out- everyone's talking about how James Cameron created this movie as a way to bring people back into the cinema, because you can't get the amazing visual experience on your laptop. But there's also another trick he used- he created it in a way that nobody would even bother downloading it, since its sole value is the way it looks on a big 3D screen. The plot has already been done, and better (http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/movies_without_pity/avatar_10_movies_that_do_what.php), the acting is pretty run of the mill (except for maybe Sigourney who always kicks ass, but she has about a zillion other films where she does it in a less predictable way) and the animation would lose a lot of its spectacularness on a small screen, so you might as well download a random Pixar movie instead since it would give you comparable animation quality but would be much more fun.
Yup, I think that sneaky Cameron must have done it on purpose. It's just too ridiculously predictable to be a serious attempt at a plot, right?

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm, that's a classic Marxist argument.

And it works! Yes, I can see where it would be purposeful.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Hey, I mentioned movies they quoted and I hadn't even read that article!

Sweet :)

[hemlock-sholes.livejournal.com]

I disagree. It's like saying that no-one would watch a movie on TV because you loose the widescreen effect. People are watching SFX movies on portable 7'' DVD players.

You can look at every technological change as a way of getting people back to the cinema - Sound, Widescreen, Colour, Cine-plexes, even the fact that chairs are more comfortable and you have more legroom.

As for the plot, if all I saw were movies with origional plots, then I wouldn't see any movies at all! :)

[nurint.livejournal.com]

Hey, I believe it was James Cameron himself that claimed he created the movie in a way that would get people back to the cinema, so your beef is with him (though the guy has over 1 billion dollars in Avatar ticket sales worldwide to back his point up, which is pretty convincing). Though I think he actually agrees with you, which is why he created a movie that is incredible not only in being a visual treat, but also in it having absolutely no other redeeming feature. The movie has absolutely zero worth when viewed on a regular PC screen, so nobody should bother downloading it because almost every other movie out there has at least one thing giving it a PC advantage on it, be it a slightly less predictable plot, a more interesting dialogue, a higher celebrity factor in the cast, a joke or two, hotter people, campy fun, anything really. Avatar is entirely "parve" when you take it out of the 3D cinema.

[nurint.livejournal.com]

Glad you agree, comrade :)

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I'd appropriate the means of production, but they're all on a huge server farm somewhere far from here.

[hemlock-sholes.livejournal.com]

*shrug*

Millions of viewers and hundreds of critics who saw, and enjoyed, Avatar on 2D screens disagree with you.

Most movies have little to no worth when seen on regular PC screens, so I'm not sure what your point is.

[hemlock-sholes.livejournal.com]

Bit late, but still...

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews/15043-ep036