Invisible? Moi?!
Mar. 18th, 2008 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eumeliaI read the Bisexuality - What's in a name article today.
Via.
It's very true you know.
The invisibility thing.
In my current state of affairs I'm Single (or Quirkyalone ;P) and it's as if my sexuality doesn't make any difference. It's almost as if I'm a Single Straight Girl.
Which I'm not.
I'm a Single Queer Grrl.
Yeah, well who cares?
I do, obviously.
I've been told, numerous times, that I put too much on labels and thus allow myself to be boxed in a defined by those little ticky-tacky boxes.
Not needing labels, in my experience means that the you are quite firmly in the mainstream, that who you are is completely compatible to the way "regular" society is constructed.
When you find yourself at a dissonance with the society in which you live, it's important to find words, language and symbols with which to identity, with which you are anchored and aren't just floating around in an a-morphic bubble.
So I disappear into that place where if I'm with a guy I'm straight, if I'm with a girl I'm gay... no one even thinks whether the guy or the girl I'm with aren't straight. Hetero = Straight, Homo = Gay.
Bisexuality is nowhere to be found. And yeah, there is more awareness (especially in entertainment media), but still the stigma of bisexuality haunts us: we can't commit, we need both sexes (genders) to be satisfied, we will leave our long term relationship for the other sex, no matter what who we are with, oh and of course we're disease spreading sluts. Duh.
And of course it's only a transition period towards total Gayness, or just a "curious phase".
Bleh.
And this sentiment comes from all directions, from the GLBT community and from the "Mainstream".
Sometimes I really do want to give up and just say "I'm Gay" and be done with it.
But that thing called integrity comes to mind, you know being honest with yourself and the rest of the world about who you are and the way you express yourself.
My integrity keeps me from choosing the "easy" way out, or to confirm to an identity that doesn't really suit who I am.
The freedom I feel from my fluidity is a double edged sword, because it is a freedom I have to reaffirm all the time, consciously or unconsciously.
It ain't easy.
But who I am is important to me and there are things I won't compromise.
Via.
It's very true you know.
The invisibility thing.
In my current state of affairs I'm Single (or Quirkyalone ;P) and it's as if my sexuality doesn't make any difference. It's almost as if I'm a Single Straight Girl.
Which I'm not.
I'm a Single Queer Grrl.
Yeah, well who cares?
I do, obviously.
I've been told, numerous times, that I put too much on labels and thus allow myself to be boxed in a defined by those little ticky-tacky boxes.
Not needing labels, in my experience means that the you are quite firmly in the mainstream, that who you are is completely compatible to the way "regular" society is constructed.
When you find yourself at a dissonance with the society in which you live, it's important to find words, language and symbols with which to identity, with which you are anchored and aren't just floating around in an a-morphic bubble.
So I disappear into that place where if I'm with a guy I'm straight, if I'm with a girl I'm gay... no one even thinks whether the guy or the girl I'm with aren't straight. Hetero = Straight, Homo = Gay.
Bisexuality is nowhere to be found. And yeah, there is more awareness (especially in entertainment media), but still the stigma of bisexuality haunts us: we can't commit, we need both sexes (genders) to be satisfied, we will leave our long term relationship for the other sex, no matter what who we are with, oh and of course we're disease spreading sluts. Duh.
And of course it's only a transition period towards total Gayness, or just a "curious phase".
Bleh.
And this sentiment comes from all directions, from the GLBT community and from the "Mainstream".
Sometimes I really do want to give up and just say "I'm Gay" and be done with it.
But that thing called integrity comes to mind, you know being honest with yourself and the rest of the world about who you are and the way you express yourself.
My integrity keeps me from choosing the "easy" way out, or to confirm to an identity that doesn't really suit who I am.
The freedom I feel from my fluidity is a double edged sword, because it is a freedom I have to reaffirm all the time, consciously or unconsciously.
It ain't easy.
But who I am is important to me and there are things I won't compromise.
