Back From the Seaside!

Hello my pretties! I'm back, a little worse for wear.

Oy.

Let me tell you what went on from Thursday afternoon to Sunday morning. Hopefully, you will be entertained and also willing to commiserate.

I managed to document, chronicle, write down some of my adventures throughout the weekend, so it's written in the present tense. I'm sure the immediacy will appeal to you ;)

Seaside Holiday Day 1 (September 4th, 2012)

I made the decision to not wear a bra other than my bikini top the whole time I'm here.

Considering the days are still hot, the fact that one sweats when it's hot, and the fact that I only brought one bra with me, this was a decision bred from necessity rather than one of preference. I'm fairly busty, despite "only" being a C cup.

As I write this, members of my family are playing a quick game of Scrabble; my mother and nephew to be exact. My father and brother in law are about to light up the barbecue for this evening's meal.

Other than arriving at the beach houses we're renting for the weekend, it was a fairly uneventful day. Packing everything for the whole holiday took longer than the drive from home to the resort.

Being at the beach and with my Tribe (we are 15 strong, with ages ranging from 9 months to 67 years) is a rather fun thing after a crummy year.

Expect some more to come.

I should mention and I'll expand on this later, that when it comes to fanfic, fandom and particularly the scholarship and craft of transformative fiction; it is clear I can only do this with my sisters and in private, lest other members of my family think it's okay to mock me for my interests and my para-academic interests.

Seaside Holiday Day 2 (September 5th, 2012)

I woke up at 6 am this morning to go fishing with my father, nephews, niece and brother (who came along as a paparazzo). It was rather fun, except that the boys got on my nerves and the girl decided I would be a better seat as opposed to the rocks of the natural breakwater on which we conducted our expedition.

There was a lot of wailing and whining, which is to be expected from people under the age of... whatever.

My oldest nephew (11 years of age) was nearly swept away when a wave pushed him over. All was well, seeing as he ended up wet and skinned at the knees. Understandably, my dad got a bit worried, so we moved from one edge of the breakwater to the other.

My big, fabulous straw hat flapped in the wind but stayed mightily attached to my head. I was quite impressed with it.

My mood became a bit sour when I offered my t-shirt to my wet nephew complained about being cold and wet (it was a fishing expedition, of which there have been several over the years, so he really should have known what to expect). You see, he took it, put it on and then removed it claiming the shirt was pink. Regardless as to whether it was pink or not, the way my shirt was accepted and then rejected because of the colour was insulting. I was actually hurt by his behaviour (and if anyone says "he's a boy" and "I'm over sensitive", you will be summarily ignored because him being a boy and young isn't actually an excuse to be rude by rejecting my shirt for it's colour - he could see what I was wearing and said simply, "no, thank you."). I asked him why he would do that. His answer was, predictably, 11 years old.

Still, not an excuse.

When we got back to the shore I told my sister (his mother) what had gone down.

I honestly find the anti-pink attitude offensive. It's a colour. When I challenged my nephew to explain his attitude he had no answer, as I knew he wouldn't, because admitting the reason would be admitting his anti-girl sentiment, something his 8 year old brother has no problem admitting next to his cousin (my niece) and me.

And so after that I was feeling a bit sour, as I said.

I wasn't the only one, considering my third nephew (whose sense of danger is non-existent) kept aggravating my father by challenging his decision to go fish where no one would be swept away by the waves.

I didn't get to fish. I had to be the other adult.

I make it sound worse than it was, but the pleasant stroll along the rocks, feeling the sun rise and go on about the magnificence of my hat is utterly unappreciated by the rest of humanity - okay, so my sister called it fancy - doesn't provide the stimulating narrative that generational conflict does.

Not to worry, more to come!

Seaside Holiday Day 2 (September 5th, 2012) Continued

This being a beach resort, it is not inconceivable that we would have neighbours, am I right?

Well, one of the neighbouring cottages is putting on a show. I was rudely awakened from my afternoon nap (my coveted siestas by the noise of heavy bases blasting through speakers. I was honestly unsure as to what was happening.

Once I was decently dressed and had my bitch-face on, I went to ask them to ask them to turn it down. They replied that they needed to test the sound before their party tonight.

Obviously I and two of my siblings went to the management to complain. We were led to believe that the management were on our side, considering they immediately alerted security.

Management didn't actually do much.

The saga went on for a good few hours, with my plans of a nap being shot to hell and multiple walks back and forth to management to get our neighbours to shut the fuck up.

I suppose the fact that our noisy neighbours couldn't give a flying fuck goes without saying.

My anti-social heart was extremely cranky at the fact that I had to talk to strangers, but also the fact that old family friends decided to join us for supper. Something I, my father and several other family members were bitter about, because we are 15 people and we ended up feeding up to 20. Not fun for the people applying fire to the food, let me tell you.

I did not feel rested or relaxed. And fuck, I resented all the other people holidaying with us. The fucking chutzpah is just unbelievable.

I was so annoyed and everybody fucking knew it.

I had my bitch-face on.

All our complaining to management did help somewhat in the end, as they folded up their sound system much earlier than they intended. That didn't stop them from screaming into a microphone. I realise not everyone considers the peace and quiet of the beach and isolation all that relaxing but the utter inconsideration made me tear my hair out. I honestly, really, could not understand how these people thought they were being in any way, shape or form, nice to their neighbours. I mean, I don't give a flying fuck about them, they could do me the same kindness and not force their music on me.

Once the family friends left and the music emanating from the resort subsided (yes, the resort had an equally noisy and sonorous activity, one which had a limit thankfully, something I'm sure our neighbours did not) I felt much better.

You know, one of the reasons I kind of enjoy these holidays, family drama and criticism notwithstanding, is the peace and quiet of the sea air and the sunshine, peace and quiet I don't get to have in the city unless I isolate myself.

I had never wished to be somewhere else on one these holidays until this year. This day was nightmarish.

The day, however, was saved by a game of Scrabble, in which my brother in law and I faced off my sister (his wife) and mother, as well as my other sister and her husband. I won.

It was awesome.

I realise my family is a harmonious clump of love, like something out of the Cosby Show, or something equally mushy, where everyday is a Very Special Episode but cripes, I need a break from the break!

Seaside Holiday Day 3 (September 6th, 2012)

Laziest day thus far.

I begged off fishing with my father. As it turned out, it was just him, a couple of the young boys and one of my bros-in-law.

I woke up sinfully late, half past 8, had a lazy breakfast with the majority of my family, seeing as some of them decided to sleep in even later!

After breakfast I donned my bikini and frolicked at the beach and in the lagoon for at least two hours. Within those two hours I had to take care of a boy who had sand flung in hi face, swim along the little island and breakers with my father, brother and brother-in-law. I had to make sure none of the progeny (ages ranging from almost 2 to 11) got thrown overboard; for you see, we have an ancient blow up boat my mother would love to see abandoned.

However, we all love it.

And indeed, my brother in law rowed the boat quite a lot. When he offered me a ride I said yes. Of course I did.

We rowed quite a long way out, to where the lagoon becomes the open sea and thus a bit choppier. I wasn't worried, I'm a good swimmer and the water is fairly shallow due to the rock formations. What did concern me was the fact that this blow up boat was slowly sinking under the combined weight of two average sized adults. He's rather tall and I'm rather short, so together er make two average people. Um. *stagadush*?

My littlest niece is almost 2 and she was very cute in the water considering the fact that her water wings could float a blimp. Once she got used to the water she did a great many floating tricks, like showing us her "socks" and bringing her feet up for us to nibble at! Boy did she laugh her little head off!

I was exhausted to say the least and we still had a hike to do later in the day.

I didn't wear a bra until then!