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A no good day
Jul. 26th, 2006 10:49 pmIt was a very bad day.
I don't have a body count yet, I'll probably know tomorrow just how many people we lost at Bint Jbiel today.
The News says eight... I know for a fact that it's more, but I suppose not everyone has been identified, nor have all the families been informed about what has happened. And since I've stopped listening to the news, I'll just have to wait for oral reports from my peers, or read it on someone else's blog.
I just finished crying for the second time today.
I reached the limit of how much I can internalize, today was a day of breakdowns and many leanings against other people's shoulders.
In Israeli news channels they show much aerial photography the Air Force (where I serve) provides them. Obviously they don't show the gory details, or the sensitive secret stuff.
I see the gore and I cheer, because I know we're killing Hezbollah operatives and taking out more and more rocket launchers that send their Katyushot, Zilzals and many others onto Israeli towns.
When I got home I cried and am still crying because I'm part of the machine killing people, but Hezbollah is my country's enemy and so I must be happy that we're killing them.
I feel so torn and... I can't even describe it.
Add to that, that I've been in this war since Monday the 17th, that's ten days and I'm getting burned out, some of my comrades have been in this since the beginning and they're burned out and going on, I'll have to as well.
I'm so tired.
I really should wait for my free day to write so that I sound a little coherent.
I don't have a body count yet, I'll probably know tomorrow just how many people we lost at Bint Jbiel today.
The News says eight... I know for a fact that it's more, but I suppose not everyone has been identified, nor have all the families been informed about what has happened. And since I've stopped listening to the news, I'll just have to wait for oral reports from my peers, or read it on someone else's blog.
I just finished crying for the second time today.
I reached the limit of how much I can internalize, today was a day of breakdowns and many leanings against other people's shoulders.
In Israeli news channels they show much aerial photography the Air Force (where I serve) provides them. Obviously they don't show the gory details, or the sensitive secret stuff.
I see the gore and I cheer, because I know we're killing Hezbollah operatives and taking out more and more rocket launchers that send their Katyushot, Zilzals and many others onto Israeli towns.
When I got home I cried and am still crying because I'm part of the machine killing people, but Hezbollah is my country's enemy and so I must be happy that we're killing them.
I feel so torn and... I can't even describe it.
Add to that, that I've been in this war since Monday the 17th, that's ten days and I'm getting burned out, some of my comrades have been in this since the beginning and they're burned out and going on, I'll have to as well.
I'm so tired.
I really should wait for my free day to write so that I sound a little coherent.
