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[eumelia]

Friday 4/08/06
It's amazing how much happens is such a short amount of time.

On Friday my sister Leigh and my nephews Amos and Shaul returned from their long stay in Cambridge, England (my brother in law Ariel is still there to tie up loose ends and will be joining the family later this week) and they've come back permanently. Leigh, now a Ph.D, has a post-doc position at Ben-Gurion University in Beer-Sheva. They still need to make all sorts of arrangements, but they should be moving some time next week. At the moment Leigh and the kiddies are staying at home with us, making it a bit of a full house, but it's fantastic to have them back, and if it weren't for the fucking war and my reserve duty I'd actually be able to spend some time with Amos (who's five ) and Shaul (who will be two in October).

I had a shift on Friday, making me utterly drained of energy, but I decided I would go out since I can't be cooped up 24/7, even though I am four days every week. I can't believe it's been going on for a month now. ravrhi is returning to America on the tenth and she had a party at the Sub-Kutch, which is a very nice lounge restaurant in Tel-Aviv, with excellent Indian food. I had a great time and finally met up with zazuomgwtf and got a new lj friend queenmab21. morin drove us all to Tel-Aviv. As you can see it was great company and got me out of my funk. At the Sub-Kutch also met up with assafr and whichwitch666 who is one of the heads of the Buffy Fan Club in Israel - "Sunnydale Embassy". morin is going to be staffing this years iCon (the annual Sci-Fi and Fantasy Con in Sukkot) and she said she's arrange for me to meet this years guest; Neil "OMG I can't believe I'm going to meet him!!!" Gaiman. Yeah. I'm that excited!


Satruday 5/08/06
Free day.
Woke up lateish, found out we were going to spend the mid morning at our cousins place because they have a pool. It was my first day of real summer, since it was the first time I wore my brand new swimming costume and looked great. The one good/bad thing about the war is that I'm shedding a hella of alot of weight, I'm a bit worried about that because I'm eating normally, if fact I eat so much junk at my station I have no idea how I've managed to lose so much weight, but I looked better in the costume now than when I bought it a month ago.
I swam and played with Amosi, but Shaul clung to Leigh since he was a bit scared of the water, also I don't think they're used to the heat the Israeli Sun is able to produce.
It was a fun morning.

Later that afternoon I met up with Shimrit and Shira, since I am not able to meet with them as much as I like.
We had coffee and cake, Shira gave me a belated birthday gift; a great "Nine West" purse! And after we said our goodbyes I spent a little time with Shimrit.
I left feeling pretty normal, although I was obviously not since I was inexplicably angry when I got home. I don't really remember what went down, but I felt utterly misunderstood by Mummy and Daddy and vented all my feelings about the war and promptly burst into very hard tears. Now that I think about it, I believe it had to do with the fact that Mummy wanted me to be with Leigh for a week or so in September because Ariel is going to a conference and she'll be all alone for that week with the two kids and I flipped. How much of myself can I actually give before I start running on empty. I was not happy in America, yes I loved the traveling and Libby, obviously, but it was not the best half year of my life. Add the war, which is sucking the life out of me, basically returning me to regular active service (two years I was happy to see over), I've done nothing of what I really want to do. The fact that I'm not really sure what it I want to do is not the issue. I'm really not sure how much longer I can keep on giving and keep on being in a conflict, I feel very conflicted over, because Hezbollah are a bane, the civilians dying because of our bombs really don't deserve to die... but neither should Israeli civilians, or reserve soldiers, or any soldiers.

I don't want anyone to die.

Nothing really interesting Sunday, except that Sharon (one of the guys that sits with me and hagar_972, he noticed I looked tired (and felt like crap from my crying the night before) and did his best to cheer me up. He also mentioned that he read my lj and was surprised at how good my English was (I'm a total bilingual) and how political I am. He was also dissapointed he wasn''t mentinoed. Well now he is.

Other than that Sunday was the same as any other crappy, no good, war mongering day. Yaron is very good conversation, he's obviously used to people agreeing with him and I do believe meeting someone with concrete ideals and a realistic veiw on the issues threw him a little.

Monday and Today after this.

Comments

[mokey4.livejournal.com]

it's amazing how idealistic and realistic you are at the same time. no wonder you're conflicted.

the problem is that (i think) 90% of the population does not see the complexity of the problem, they are so blind in their adherence to one view or another that they aren't troubled by the inherent contradictions.

it's not just in war, it's in almost everything important. but it seems really painful in war. and i've never experienced war first-hand, so i feel like a tool for pointing it out.

[aesiron.livejournal.com]

it's amazing how idealistic and realistic you are at the same time. no wonder you're conflicted.

And one of the reasons she is so awesome.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Aww shucks. *blush*