Dress!

[eumelia]

I bought a dress.

A sun-dress.

A blue and yellow polka dot dress.

And it was bought at an extremely reasonable price. Very funny considering I had been trying on button-down shirts and ties in the men's sections of different shops before hand.

Shopping with men in extremely liberating in that regard. They don't care from which section of the shop you buy from and once you have the shirt on the shop-clerks will not say anything, especially when they are aware that you deliberately went to the men's section.

I always feel a bit inadequate when I go shopping, even if no one is looking at me, the full weight of the gaze of Fashion is upon me. I'm no fashionista, but I have particular taste, I do not like bulging in any direction and I do not like anything that is too out there, I'm pretty conservative when it comes to my clothes - seriously, my most daring article of clothing is a pair of tweed trousers that only look good if the shirts are tucked in and I loathe tucking in my shirts - but for these pants, I'll do it.

It was also liberating because for the past month or so I've been forgoing shaving. And this dress is sleeveless, so shopping with men who not playing the gaze game with me was pretty good - though I don't know if they were surprised to see all the hair or if I'm just projecting my own issues. It's still cool enough to wear long sleeved shirts, but soon it'll be shorts and tanks and I'm a bit anxious. I'm anxious because I've never been hairy under my arms, really, once I started sprouting on my legs and under-arms I was regimented into hair removal.

There's something about being hairy while wearing a sun-dress. It's a bit like saying: "All this flesh you're seeing is for me and not for you to look at", it's fucked-up that that's my thought process, but clothes and the way your body is disciplined into beauty and gender norms are not actually for yourself, but for others who look at you.

So, I'm looking forward to wearing it this summer (or, you know, in a few weeks once the weather evens out into hot. Summer is going to be so hot hell is freezing), I'm not looking forward to the looks I'll be getting and there's just no way about it... people look and they judge.

The dress though, it's gorgeous and I look fucking awesome in it.

Comments

[aquaeri]

It's a bit like saying: "All this flesh you're seeing is for me and not for you to look at", it's fucked-up that that's my thought process, but clothes and the way your body is disciplined into beauty and gender norms are not actually for yourself, but for others who look at you.

That would be one of those major masculine/feminine dress rule differences, right there. I think men are far more allowed to express "All this flesh you're seeing is for me and not for you to look at" in their clothing.

(Men have a bunch of other very restrictive dress rules, which are all about Not Possibly Ever Being Mistaken For A Woman For One Second.)

[eumelia]

You're right - it's really easy to see the difference in the way clothes are cut, the way women's clothes cling to the body as opposed to men's clothes - men who wear clingy clothes are "showing off" on purpose, as opposed to women who "show off" as a rule of thumb no matter what we're wearing.

[aquaeri]

Also if you go by basic "utilitarian" sort of ideas - men's clothes have pockets, women's clothes less and less, and similarly, one of my rules when I shop for shoes is "can I run for the bus in these?" and very few men's shoes ever fail that one, whereas women's shoes, it's mostly the exception.

[schemingreader]

I am a big fan of polka dots. With the armpit hair...well, some people find it sexy, and I wouldn't be surprised if you get hit on. They might not have gotten the memo about the semiotics of not shaving.

[eumelia]

It is an adorable dress :)

What you say is true... I actually can't wait for summer now.

[silveradept]

Ah, but you look fucking awesome in the dress, you think you look fucking awesome in that dress, and that's what's important. (Well, okay, your partner(s) thinking you look fucking awesome in that dress might have a little consideration.) Anybody else can shove it and turn their head if they don't want to look.