eumelia: (Default)
Eumelia ([personal profile] eumelia) wrote2006-04-04 07:30 pm

My body... my soul...


I was on the Pill for two and a half years, I started taking it because I was put on the anti-acne medication Roacutan, those of you in the know, know what this drug can do to your body and specifically your liver.
I am fine, just by the way, since I was on the drug three years ago and I have no scars on my face to attest that I was even on so harsh a drug.
My back on the other hand... *shrug*, nothing I can so about that, it's the way my body is and that is fine, in fact it's perfect, who wants to be flawless anyway!
Any how I was on the Pill, for two and a half years... it didn't really do me any good other than regulate my periods.

My periods.

I used to feel very ambivalent about my periods;
on the one hand for years I have used those bleeding times to get in touch with my body and use it to not only physically cleanse myself, but spiritually as well; I mean what better time to do some "house cleansing" than when your body is doing it anyway.
On the other hand, ever since I was thirteen (and during my Pill shtick), four to seven days out of the month I would be doubled over in pain or alternatively, if I couldn't express my pain physically, I would go off on a "bloody" tirade and become the bitchy-cunt people learned to fear and loathe... except my friends since that was just Mel on the rag and nothing more.

But see, it is something more.
I very much believe in a spiritual self, a soul, and I do not believe it is separate from my body. My body and my soul are one and complete (yeah, I don't believe in soul-mates, the whole concept is dated and out of touch with the reality that people face in their day to day lives).
During teenage hood, and I've said this before, we are so totally unaware of who we are and what we are capable of, this is especially true for girls, since society doesn't encourage us to become the best, merely the mediocre (I am thankful to come from a family of strong women and "silent" men).
When I got my period, there was no big deal, my mom gave me some pads and my dad brought home a box of mini-tampons for me, since I was swimming at the time. My sisters said congrats, my brother ignored the whole thing.
I wanted a big deal.
You see by that time I had read all kinds of things written by Le-Guin, McCaffery, Zimmer-Bradley, and other great women writers who spoke about the Moon Blood as a holy thing.
In our society (as in western) women's blood is dirty, but blood shed in war is sacred.
"Let us remember those who shed blood in this field" I do not know who said this, or if it was even said or paraphrased by anyone, but that is the gist of what I'm saying.

Why is blood that gives life, that is comparable to the sea as it moves with the tides, considered unclean and the women during their bleeding periods "dirty" and "unstable".
While blood that is shed through violence, death and sacrifice revered, even glorified.
I find the mentality behind those sentiments absoloutly abhorrent!

Practically the month I went off the Pill, I went off tampons as well.
I got a Mooncup.
I am in love with that little silicone cup, which collects my blood.
For the past three months I have become very close to my Vag.
Since the cup requires up close and personal roaming around there, I had no choice but to become extra acquainted with the most misunderstood body part of the human body.
I love my Cunt.
Ever since I've taken the "alternative road" I've become a whole lot more attuned to my body, my soul and all those things that go with it, intellect, sensuality, sexuality etc.

Mel is a whole lot happier the way she is than she was a month ago.

[identity profile] ex-yellowsna67.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Rock on! :)

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
Indeedy!

[identity profile] schniff.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 09:28 am (UTC)(link)
since society doesn't encourage us to become the best, merely the mediocre
Where do the "world's best mom" and "most successful career woman" images fit in then? Isn't our society too competitive to say that it excludes all women from that race?

women during their bleeding periods "dirty" and "unstable".
Dirty? Well, not all of us have the Mooncup ;-). But you'd have to admit that unstable is at least partly true. Those of us who are not very stable as is, *cough*, can have a hard time controlling that hormonal rollercoaster.

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Dirty? Well, not all of us have the Mooncup ;-). But you'd have to admit that unstable is at least partly true. Those of us who are not very stable as is, *cough*, can have a hard time controlling that hormonal rollercoaster.
(השבה לטקסט זה)

I think you missed the point of that segmant. I don't, emphasis of DON'T consider the period "dirty", at all.
But society, with it's blue water adds and "look how small and hidden that tampon is" sure makes us think so.
And I am soooo not saying that women's instability during that time is bad, I'm saying that if women were encouraged to get to know themselves and dig deeper into their bodies natural flows and ebbs, their emotions wouldn't be out of control... this is of course quite hypocritical of me to say since I have yetto master that art myself, but it is something we must strive for.

As for the rat race women currently participate in. (Most) Women still get paid less than a man holding the same position in some place. Mother's Day, a day that should be an international day of rest for all women who have children, turned into Family Day... yeah, that's a great appreciciation to our mothers.
Things change slowly and one step foreward will probably entail a few steps back as well.

[identity profile] schniff.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't, emphasis of DON'T consider the period "dirty", at all.
I know, I was kidding. In the literal sense, the period does make things dirty. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it just does that.

Mother's Day, a day that should be an international day of rest for all women who have children, turned into Family Day... yeah, that's a great appreciciation to our mothers.
Huh? I thought they changed it in equality's sake, because there's no Father's Day in Israel.

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh. Okay... the funny doesn't come across too well through comments :)

*shrug* In that case they should have made another Father's day... oops, they kind of have one of those, it's called Shabbat, where we honour אבינו שבשמיים ובארץ.
At least that's how I see it.

[identity profile] schniff.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
That's one of the things that bother me about Feminism: If you're actively looking for something to be pissed about, you can find it anywhere. I can totally understand it, yet even to me it sometimes looks like it's bordering on paranoia.
Judaism is very chauvinistic, we all know that. I can't say it has nothing to do with our country, because unfortunately it does, but still... They are not everyone.

Then again, it was probably my turn in not getting the joke...

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
That is what bothers you about Feminism?
Girl, that is what Feminism is about!
We have to get pissed, we have to make an issue, we have to make every single thing we do visible and changeable, otherwise all we do is enable Them (i.e. the "MAN") to continue on their historical privilege to keep women in their place.
And that is wrong! wrong, wrong, wrong!
Did I mention is was bad too?

[identity profile] krazyhippie.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know, I don't consider the period to be dirty in even the most literal of senses. :/

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
It stains your panties... der ;)

that is to denote the joke and the jest in this comment

[identity profile] krazyhippie.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah but...that's still not dirty to me. Unfortunate if you don't like stains? Yes. But not dirty in the slightest. :)

[identity profile] hagar-972.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 09:58 am (UTC)(link)
When I got my period, there was no big deal, my mom gave me some pads and my dad brought home a box of mini-tampons for me, since I was swimming at the time. My sisters said congrats, my brother ignored the whole thing.
I wanted a big deal.
You see by that time I had read all kinds of things written by Le-Guin, McCaffery, Zimmer-Bradley, and other great women writers who spoke about the Moon Blood as a holy thing.
In our society (as in western) women's blood is dirty, but blood shed in war is sacred.
"Let us remember those who shed blood in this field" I do not know who said this, or if it was even said or paraphrased by anyone, but that is the gist of what I'm saying.

Why is blood that gives life, that is comparable to the sea as it moves with the tides, considered unclean and the women during their bleeding periods "dirty" and "unstable".
While blood that is shed through violence, death and sacrifice revered, even glorified.
I find the mentality behind those sentiments absoloutly abhorrent!


Permission to quote the above segement, un-Flock, on my LJ? Conditions acceptable :).

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Conditions acceptable!
But give credit, where credit is due ;)

[identity profile] aesiron.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I honestly have no idea how half the population deal with bleeding from their crotches once a month for thirty years straight.

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
You get used to it.
That's it.
It's a fact of life, much like mornig erections I suppose.
Both are things that happen, but rarely poken about in anything other than hushed tones, when in fact both are just biological recations to hormones flooding the body.
Humanity is very estranged from their bodies.
It's a shame really.

[identity profile] aesiron.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 01:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose, although nocturnal emissions would have been a better analogy. Morning wood, as often as not, is just an indicator that I need to pee. :p

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 01:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I was thinking using that as an analogy, however, nocturnal emissions usually abate as men grow older, but it's silly to try and compare since there really is no comparison to the male and female reproductive system, except that the male one is revered (and I mean this in every sense, religious or non) and made public, while female reproductive system is sanitized and spoken about only in euphemisms.

[identity profile] aesiron.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 02:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, no, I'm not trying to compare and, honestly, don't really care to as 1) women admittedly have it harder and 2) I don't desire kids and have never been in a relationship with a woman so I've had no reason to really contemplate that aspect of those organs.

Unfortunately, I'm more concerned with their functioning as part of my endocrine and urinary systems than my reproductive one.

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
1) But see, women don't have it harder, it's a biological function that the collective "Man" has taken, used and abused it by using history and media into making the collective "Woman" think they're weaker for having it and that is what bugs me.
2) I see your point.

You have to drink a lot of water and make sure your urine is more clear than yellow, that'll keep you healthier in that respect :)

[identity profile] mizzpyx.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I LOVE this post. love it love it love it.
Ooh. remind me to dig up a thingie I wrote about period-y goodness, will ya? I'll have forgotten by the time I've time to look for it.. but it was pretty much a thing I wrote one day, when all of a sudden I realised that if I didn't fight the instability, the mood swings, all the rest of it, I could actually just sit back, go with the flow, enjoy the ride and feel good.
Was nifty, so it was.

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-05 02:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I like this post too.
I'm thinking about nu-locking it, letting the word "flow" into the cyber-world :)

all of a sudden I realised that if I didn't fight the instability, the mood swings, all the rest of it, I could actually just sit back, go with the flow, enjoy the ride and feel good.
Zigactly!!!

[identity profile] krazyhippie.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
I totally get you.

I've also noticed that I experience less pain when on my period since I stopped relying on painkillers and just let my body express itself and listened to it and went with it, as strange as that may sound.

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
*nods in understanding*
I've gotta ask what do you think of my conversation with [livejournal.com profile] schniff?

[identity profile] krazyhippie.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
Um...I'm pulling my hair out at the moment, lol. (knew I should've shaved it!)

[identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
LOL!
What I want to know is if I brought my point across?

[identity profile] krazyhippie.livejournal.com 2006-04-06 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
Oh why yes, that you did, Ms. Melody.