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Catwoman: The Fetish
As I have stated previously, working in a DVD rental shop has it's up and downs, the ups is that I get to watch movies all day, the down is that my curiosity sometimes demands that I view movies I have avoided for years and now having the chance at a free viewing I go ahead and get myself killed by said curiosity.
I don't want to get angry.
Really.
Okay so that's a lie, I enjoy the righteous rage bubbling up at moments such as What the Fuck was that fucking Catwoman movie about?!
Yeah, I watched Halle Berry's "Catwoman".
Did DC sue them in the end, I don't recall.
When I first heard about the movie I thought "excellent, Selina is finally getting a flick of her own" it never bothered, as it did for other people, that Catwoman was black, what bothered me was the fact they got a comic book actress to do her.
I'm sorry, but Ororo Munroe cannot be Selina Kyle, forget the fact that they're two completely different characters... they're from totally different universes!
Aside from the fact that the movie just sucks! And that Halle Berry lacks any verisimilitude in anything she does, that movie portrayed Catwoman as an Sn' M Dominatrix, which again, is excusable, since that whole fetish thing is quite apparent... do Bruce and Selina ever kiss without their masks on? In "Hush" when Batman reveals himself to Catwoman, she keeps her goggles on and in that arc when Bruce is stripped to have his wounds tended to he keeps the cowl on and again, Catwoman has the goggles.
But the movie took a wee bit too far, since it's just a mask and a top that covered her breasts, the midriff is completely exposed and can we please quit with the whole sexual posing in movies! I mean in comic books they're, to quote Jessica Rabbit, "Just drawn that way".
Hold on, is that a fucking excuse?
Fuck. No.
So Halle Berry struts around in a poorly designed costume with high heels and a whip that is way too long.
And Selina Kyle is dressed in a full body suit, with cowl, metal claws, flat (thank you GD) flat boots and I'm just really glad that while she's buxom, she's at least not defying gravity in *that* sense anymore, she's almost as tall as Bruce nowadays, yeah Catwoman rocks, but not the Halle Berry one.
She sucks!
Of course the only think we can blame Ms. Berry with is bad acting... very bad acting.
Whoever designed the ripped pants, heels, stupid looking masks, those really unflattering gloves and waaaaaay too "flattering" shirt was obviously inspired by mid-nineties Selina, where she was but falling out of her costumes.
Plus, it was purple. Which is just not a good colour.
It's obvious the wardrobe of both Ms. Cats were designed by men.
It's also obvious that both the men who designed these two Feline Fatals have a thing for Punishment.
One can understand why Batman is so damn attracted to Catwoman.
I mean Vicky Vale, Talia and even Ms. I-will-kill-to-get-this-scoop-and-no-Farm-boy-is-going-to-stop-me Lois Lane, doesn't have that "oomph" Selina has and let's face it, Bruce needs someone who can kick his ass everyone in a while... after all, he's such a Sub.
I don't want to get angry.
Really.
Okay so that's a lie, I enjoy the righteous rage bubbling up at moments such as What the Fuck was that fucking Catwoman movie about?!
Yeah, I watched Halle Berry's "Catwoman".
Did DC sue them in the end, I don't recall.
When I first heard about the movie I thought "excellent, Selina is finally getting a flick of her own" it never bothered, as it did for other people, that Catwoman was black, what bothered me was the fact they got a comic book actress to do her.
I'm sorry, but Ororo Munroe cannot be Selina Kyle, forget the fact that they're two completely different characters... they're from totally different universes!
Aside from the fact that the movie just sucks! And that Halle Berry lacks any verisimilitude in anything she does, that movie portrayed Catwoman as an Sn' M Dominatrix, which again, is excusable, since that whole fetish thing is quite apparent... do Bruce and Selina ever kiss without their masks on? In "Hush" when Batman reveals himself to Catwoman, she keeps her goggles on and in that arc when Bruce is stripped to have his wounds tended to he keeps the cowl on and again, Catwoman has the goggles.
But the movie took a wee bit too far, since it's just a mask and a top that covered her breasts, the midriff is completely exposed and can we please quit with the whole sexual posing in movies! I mean in comic books they're, to quote Jessica Rabbit, "Just drawn that way".
Hold on, is that a fucking excuse?
Fuck. No.
So Halle Berry struts around in a poorly designed costume with high heels and a whip that is way too long.
And Selina Kyle is dressed in a full body suit, with cowl, metal claws, flat (thank you GD) flat boots and I'm just really glad that while she's buxom, she's at least not defying gravity in *that* sense anymore, she's almost as tall as Bruce nowadays, yeah Catwoman rocks, but not the Halle Berry one.
She sucks!
Of course the only think we can blame Ms. Berry with is bad acting... very bad acting.
Whoever designed the ripped pants, heels, stupid looking masks, those really unflattering gloves and waaaaaay too "flattering" shirt was obviously inspired by mid-nineties Selina, where she was but falling out of her costumes.
Plus, it was purple. Which is just not a good colour.
It's obvious the wardrobe of both Ms. Cats were designed by men.
It's also obvious that both the men who designed these two Feline Fatals have a thing for Punishment.
One can understand why Batman is so damn attracted to Catwoman.
I mean Vicky Vale, Talia and even Ms. I-will-kill-to-get-this-scoop-and-no-Farm-boy-is-going-to-stop-me Lois Lane, doesn't have that "oomph" Selina has and let's face it, Bruce needs someone who can kick his ass everyone in a while... after all, he's such a Sub.