I think it's really fascinating that you're a bisexual woman referring only to male slash! Femslashers exist! I'm a lesbian who writes femslash het, slash and gen, and I've found the femslash writers to often have the most queer (and most integrated) approach to writing GLB characters (I haven't found any group particularly better with trans characters).

I do get that sometimes it's great to write a world where there's basically no homophobia, or at least only from the Bad Guys, and I'm totally happy with that in some canons, especially SF or fantasy. It's quite distancing to have a real world-style fic (especially in a canon like, say, The Good Wife, which has a major bisexual-or-possibly-lesbian character, several lesbian supporting characters and one gay supporting character and talks about real-world reactions) where the non-sexual parts of queerness are removed or glossed over.