And, at the risk of being seriously cheesy and/or pretentious, a traditional Hasidic story: Once there was a king who had a wonderful jewel. He would gaze on it often, wondering at its beauty. One day, something startled him and he dropped the jewel causing it to fall and develop a deep crack. He sent messengers out to find a craftsman who could repair it, but, no one came forward. Finally after a very long search he found an old jeweler who said he could repair the jewel, but, that the king would have to promise to give him free reign in his work. With no other options, the king assented. The old craftsman worked for weeks. Finally he emerged and showed the king the jewel. There in the jewel, the old man had worked the lines of the crack into the pattern of an exquisite flower that appeared deep inside the precious stone. The king gasped and realized that the crack itself had led to the jewel becoming even more precious.
From what I've seen, you've done an incredible job of using the trauma of your involvement into the 2006 war as a motivation to think critically about the policies of Israel and all countries and also to connect more with your own emotions. You've done a lot of work to get there from being someone with the complaints, "I don't sleep, am constantly angry, am constantly crying and that I am in a constant state of hate, rage and profound distrust." And you're right that the work will never be over. But I hope that you don't just feel good being in that place but are proud of how far you've come. /soapbox
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And, at the risk of being seriously cheesy and/or pretentious, a traditional Hasidic story:
Once there was a king who had a wonderful jewel. He would gaze on it often, wondering at its beauty. One day, something startled him and he dropped the jewel causing it to fall and develop a deep crack. He sent messengers out to find a craftsman who could repair it, but, no one came forward. Finally after a very long search he found an old jeweler who said he could repair the jewel, but, that the king would have to promise to give him free reign in his work. With no other options, the king assented. The old craftsman worked for weeks. Finally he emerged and showed the king the jewel. There in the jewel, the old man had worked the lines of the crack into the pattern of an exquisite flower that appeared deep inside the precious stone. The king gasped and realized that the crack itself had led to the jewel becoming even more precious.
From what I've seen, you've done an incredible job of using the trauma of your involvement into the 2006 war as a motivation to think critically about the policies of Israel and all countries and also to connect more with your own emotions. You've done a lot of work to get there from being someone with the complaints, "I don't sleep, am constantly angry, am constantly crying and that I am in a constant state of hate, rage and profound distrust." And you're right that the work will never be over. But I hope that you don't just feel good being in that place but are proud of how far you've come.
/soapbox