eumelia: (bullshit)
When I was in high school I was slut shamed. A lot.

Whether I was sexually active or not is beside the point, because the boys and girls who bullied me, they weren't the ones who knew my business. I was called "bitch", I was called "whore", I was called "dyke".

I was also called "slut", but that has a different context.

When I was in high school I used to go to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. A lot.

The word "slut" was bandied around in a positive way, no one was saying it to offend or to shame. No one was saying it in order to see me blush and avert my eyes, just so they would leave me alone.

I remember once I screamed in the middle of the hall way, a loud drawn out scream. I don't remember why I did it, I must have looked insane. People parted around my like the Red sea and I was Moses.

Our most powerful weapon is our voice - Ursula (of The Little Mermaid infamy) obviously taught me well.

I didn't mine being called a slut when I was with my fellow Rocky peeps. Just like I don't mind being called a dyke or queer when I'm with fellow LGBT's.

Context is everything. No word can be reclaimed in full. I can the biggest bitch there ever was, but you don't get to call me one just because you don't like me. Yes, I am bisexual and lesbian, only I get to call myself queer. My sex life in my own and the people I actually have sex with and has no bearing on my morality and character - as such, slut is a word that I get to chose who says it and when and I decide whether I use it or not.

SLUTwalk has come to Israel and I will march.

Some people disagree with the politics of SLUTwalk, because the word is not reclaimable and the overt sexualisation of some of the marchers is counter productive.

I can't help but think back to what people say about the various Pride marches in my locale and all over the world. With regards to how provocative it is.

To that I can only say, Pride marches are necessary because of that sentiment my dear detractors.

And so long as sex and the having of it with whomever we chose is considered "provocative" and "slutty", and rape continues to be tied to the sex lives of the survivors and victims rather than to the actions of the rapist, these actions are necessary.

Because it doesn't matter what we wear, it doesn't matter what we don't wear. We could walk naked in the street with a neon sign flashing "Willing to Fuck Anyone!" in hot pink and that is still not "asking for it".

It happens to be International Woman's Day.

A friend said she considers this a day of mourning for the feminist struggle and I can't help but agree. IWD is a day in which we go "Yay Women!" and that's important, empowerment is not to underestimated, but who is empowered? And what are we empowering ourselves to be?

Feminism is not just about women, it is about the opening of minds and it is about resistance. Resistance of patriarchy, racism, homophobia, misogyny, modern-colonialism, war and economic terrorism, because they harm the majority of people on the planet.

SLUTwalk may be small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, but rape is an instrument of war, it is an instrument of terror and so long as it is considered just something else we need to "deal with", resistance to the double standard of gender paradigms is paramount.

Make some noise.

eumelia: (jewish revenge)


Happy International Woman's Day.

Now let's get the other 364 days!
eumelia: (jewish revenge)
A lot of the choices I've made, throughout my life and especially the last couple of years, have been due to the fact that I've had the privilege to make them.

I chose to study the Humanities on my parent's dime, because I was able to do so with little sacrifice on my side. I took my time, four years instead of three, because I was not able to handle a year in which a lot of shit happened - so I let my studies go and had to re-do a year.

I still feel guilty about that.

I had considered taking a year off between BA and going on to an MA, because, well, obviously I'll be doing an MA. This is the way the life of a privileged middle class girl goes, right? But first, I should probably get onto a career path of some kind. I enjoyed the Library, I loved being in the Library and I had various Librarian role models that made me think that being a Librarian was a good idea.

Well, the studies made me want to kill myself and the more I thought about where I wanted to go with my life, the notion of being on that path looked less and less like the thing I wanted to be.

So I decided to drop out.

I feel guilty about that too.

It's "another" thing I started and didn't finish. It's another "phase" that fizzled out because I got "bored". Never mind that the studies, depressed me to a degree to which I hadn't felt in a long while, probably not the subject matter itself (though really, my brain felt like it was leaking out of my skull while I was in class), but the frame of being in school, again.

I enjoy learning. But studying...

I feel guilty about the choosing to veer away from this plan, without a backup plan. I'm still unemployed, living off my savings at the moment, working on the side for my father so that I don't sink utterly. There's not a bit of shame involved in that, despite it being a concious choice I made.

And wouldn't you know, I feel guilty about that, as well.

The thing is, my parents were paying for these studies as well and I just couldn't have that any more.

I'm 26, and moved out and still, my parents were paying for my life.

You know, I'd much rather suck up the shame and ask them for help with the rent, than have them help me coast through life just so I can be put on a career path that was numbing me out.

I'm still numb, because I am overwhelmed by death, disease and the feelings of failure that will probably not leave me until I get a job, because I am nothing if not a loyal subject to the economic system.

But ever since I made the choice of leaving school, I've felt lighter and more at ease with the my guilt. I feel guilty for letting down my parents, not for making a choice they think is a mistake - because it's not a mistake for me. I feel guilty for not being financially secure at the moment, but I know that's a dynamic situation that can and will change and it's less to do with me personally and more to do with the structure of work force.
I feel guilty that everything is coming to a head at a time where there has been a death in the family and we are about to begin to revolve around a disease which we thought we wouldn't have to deal with again.

But nothing goes according to plan.

So really, why feel guilty?

For now, it's an outlet for me. Feeling all my feelings through the prism of guilt. It motivates me to try and not feel guilty. Feeling guilty informs me that I am being manipulated, in one way or another.

Feeling guilty reminds me that it could be worse. It reminds me of my privilege, I suppose.

Yesterday though, a song came on my shuffle that really helped me put it somewhat in perspective:


Hand In My Pocket - Alanis Morissette
no one's really got it figured out just yet )
eumelia: (coffee)
Ten reasons to stop apologising for your online life.



Transformative potential, is what she said.

I love that.
eumelia: (nice jewish girl)
Stop what you're doing and just watch.

Just, listen.

A response to the question and accusation often hurled at Palestinians by Rafeef Ziadah.

eumelia: (diese religione)


I am Jewish today!

I was Jewish yesterday too, and I'll continue to be Jewish... forever, I guess.

I'm going to leave the Jewish navel gazing for the Days of Awe, when that's supposed to happen.

For now, to all who celebrate have a good evening and a happy new year, to all those who don't, a good Wednesday to you!

If you find a nice Jewish family that will take you in and feed you, do so! We make awesome food. Also, there's wine, honey and apple crumble/pie most of the time.

Enjoy a video, different from years past:


A big thank you to my BFF for introdusing me to these videos, they are amazing and moving. Check the rest out over at Symphony of Science.
eumelia: (thinky thoughts)
It feels weird waiting for another episode of "Hawaii Five-0".

I mainlined the whole first season in less than two weeks over the summer and fell in love with it in a way I didn't think I would.
One of the reasons for this new love and obsession is that a mainstream action, adventure and "let's blow shit up" show, is managing to convey a camaraderie between two male leads that toes the line between platonic and erotic.
And when I say toe, I mean there's a line they can't cross, but they're going "Look, look, we're not touching!" with their toes.

Cut for length, spoilers and embedded images )

Credits: All screencaps from episode 2.01 "Ha'i'ole" were taken from Demon-Cry.net.
All other pics, screencaps and gifds were taken random Google Image search and prowling fandom comms.

Avoidance

May. 10th, 2011 08:46 pm
eumelia: (nice jewish girl)
Which was dashed out the window.

The past two weeks are hard for me. Not only because of the solemn occasions regarding the various memorial days, them being national Holocaust memorial day and Memorial day which is used as a precursor for Independence day, which is just coming to a close.

Both memorial days are commemorated by ceremonies and a nation wide two minute siren in which we are supposed to stand still and "think" about the dead.

I was never a fan of these events, but since my own experiences in the Second Lebanon War I pretty much loathe them. The people I know who died serving in the IDF or through terrorist attacks, I remember regardless as to whether I stop still in the middle of the street while an air raid siren pierces the air.
I think about the the genocide of my people (and everyone else who was systematically murdered due to who they were) a lot. Probably more than is healthy. I'm not into the whole Shoah as an academic interest or as an intersected period, I pretty much avoid thinking about it in that way.

Any way, the past two weeks have been about me avoiding the public radio, public television and I've basically removed Facebook from my life other than to get some invites and messages to community and activism events.

But I hate these ceremonies; I haven't been to a Holocaust memorial ceremony in years, I try to avoid being in public during the sirens and the one time a year I go to a Memorial day ceremony to listen to the names of the all the people who died during the various and sundry wars Israel has fought all I can think of is, predictably, Sinead O'Connor.

During my emotional turmoil in the months following the war, I listened to Sinead a lot. She had always been a favourite, but in that time I feel like she really saved me. And of the songs I listened to over and over and over again and to which I'm listening now is "Drink Before The War".

Lyrics )

And well, when listening to elementary school children read out the names of the dead and read poems about soldiers who die in glory but are sorely, sorely missed... I can never help but be moved and think, "look what we're being prepared for".

I don't know if that's cynical or just sad.

But the glory of Jingo is not one I participate in with a whole heart.
Mostly, I just like the fireworks.
eumelia: (little death - thinking)
One of the most wonderful things about Swan Lake is the music. Tchaikovsky is my favourite classical composer, and besides the 1812 Overture, very likely his most well known melody is that damn theme:



It was that theme and of course the entire story of the ballet that accompanied the gruesome story of suffering we are put through when we watch Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan.

Cut for spoilers, deep thoughts and possibly scathing reviews )
eumelia: (creepy)
I've been as sick as a dog for the past 36 hours, the first 24 consisting of a fever high enough to incapacitate me, make my parents threaten to take me to the hospital and have dreams in which I was Ellen Page pretending to be Eames (from Inception played by Tom Hardy).

Dude.

Currently, my body has simply decided to work against me in the ways bodies do after they've been through a high temp washing machine and dryer.

Well, at least it happened when the weather was somewhat pleasant. We're going through yet another unseasonably hot weekend. What the fuck, no wonder everyone here is fucking bonkers. I'll get into the bonkers and regional politics later, maybe, if I'm up to it. My higher brain functions have been siphoned by the awesome that is the coming Autumn/Winter BBC Season.



It would appear, that now that Harry Potter is done with all my faves are coming back to the Telly, hello Alan! Hello Emma! Even Helena (whom I don't particularly like, but has screen presence like whoa!).

And woot! Christopher, David and Matt! God, I love British television. There was even more than one scene of queer content in the trailer!
Some of it appeared historical, which is cool, but I'm kind of sick of Regency/Victorian Lesbians and Gays coming out (hur hur) of the Beeb.

I'm excited about my teevee!

I also finally finished the first season of Mad Men while I was still a bit feverish so my OMGWTFNOTBBC reaction may have been either too subdued or too over the top. I can't really tell.

Off to read the News. I hope my body doesn't betray me in the process.
eumelia: (creepy)
Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" is being adapted to Television.

I find the fact that Supernatural's Eric Kripke has his thumb in this pie, distressing. Mainly because I find Supernatural to be derivative in the most unoriginal way, the writing horrendous and the gore not particularly entertaining.
Also the fact that it bleeds into other fandoms via crossovers in such a chronic way very irritating.

Let it be known, I'm not judging anyone who likes Supernatual (Hello, Torchwood fan!) but the actual show is just vomitous.

So anyone involved with that show touching anything to do with Sandman is very upsetting.

Of course at this point there is nothing but this announcement as far as I'm aware, so it would appear that there isn't even a proper pitch.
Still...

In the words of the Interwebs: Do Not Want.

Sandman in many ways was what got me to be a critical thinker. To doubt the world around me, note not reality, but the way the world is constructed. Mainly, how the world is narrative. It helped that the story itself is layered, multi functional as both text and image and the lines blurring between Morpheus' arc and the rest of players is really gorgeous.
Dream may have been the Sun of the solar system of Sandman, but everyone else was also a planet.

I like that metaphor.

Sandman also helped me, over reading it over and over for ten years, to rid myself of the idea that I needed to believe in a power greater than the story. Because even though I kept on trying to have faith in various and sundry gods, powers that be and even that good ole' time religion which believes that Earth and the Universe is a Libra eventually coming to the conclusion that myths of god, are just stories about people.

It's a great comfort of mine.

In relation to that, I don't remember my dreams, sometimes, very rarely, I'll remember a feeling I dreamt, but the actual plots I live through in my subconscious mind are locked away and put forth in the snippets of scenes I write and the characters who talk to me when I'm awake.
I think, much like Watchmen, that there are some stories that can't be translated into a different medium without losing something that made the original story an important turning point in that medium. Because while Watchmen the movie was terrible (except for the opening credits, which was absolute movie making genius!) the comic was a punch in the gut of everything that had come before it.
Samndman is seminal because it crosses genres, breaks them, talks about them consciously and is (was) presumptuous enough to talk about human nature without being condescending.

I fear that Sandman, should a television adaptation actually happen, will be dumbed down to suit the palate of what ever demographic television show makers think actually watch television.

And so I ask... for the love of all that I hold dear, why?

Here, have a song.
Day 6: Your favorite band.
Allow me to be completely cliché and give you…
"Norwegian Wood" by the Beatles!


The Days )
eumelia: (little dream - observing)
Oh, lord, there is politics of various kinds that I wish to discuss, some very disturbing trends that are happening in my country including murder, incitement and other things that I distract myself from because I'd much rather think about Inception and what that movie means to me in the grand narrative way I think about movies and comics and books and television and how they affect my life.

Because Inception is one of those movies I have decided to love, especially the stories that aren't being told, as usual.

It's always dreams.

I don't know what I should write about. I need to think about it. In the mean time have some music. That always helps me.

Day 4: Your favorite male singer.
Leonard Cohen, hands down!
This is actually my favourite song by Leonard, "So Long, Marianne":

Possibly because it's so vague and it can apply to anybody's life. I like to think I'm not "almost" young and that I'll laugh and cry over and over again. And of course, that no matter what, we live and die alone, even though we are surrounded by everyone else who is also alone.
I'm not ashamed of being afraid sometimes.
I'm brave some of the times, I think.

Day 5: Your favorite female singer.
Well, my fave is Sinead O'Connor and I don't want to double the videos I give you, so here's another song I really love by her.
"The Foggy Dew" which she sings with The Chieftains.

The reason I love this song as sung by Sinead is the connection with Irish history. Sinead was my first impression of Ireland when I was but a baby listening to her not understanding her rage, her pain and her power. When I visited Ireland four years ago (fuck!) I felt as though I'd arrived to a second home. I know it's corny and Ireland is so mystified in stories, media and history.
But what's a Jewish grrl to do...
eumelia: (music)
Day 3: A song that makes you dance.

Any thing by Queen makes me want to dance, but this makes me move my butt!
Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls"


It is most opportune that I am finally watching what seems to be one of the best Rock n' Roll Comedy movie I've seen since "Almost Famous" and "This is Spinal Tap" (okay, that is a bit much but still).

The Boat That Rocked is really funny and has a huge repertoire of classic 60's rock which makes me feel all fuzzy inside. The pub hopping scene is especially lovely. Though I'm still not clear on why a Welshman dressed as a pimp is considered sexy.
Felicity the Lesbian cook (yes, that's what she's known as on this boat filled with stones highly sexed men) is a bit of a butt-monkey, but in the great tradition of British movies, there are (white) men of every size having sex with a great many type of woman, which makes it fun to watch as well.
Honestly not the main foci of the film, but the things you notice, right?

Philip Seymour Hoffman and Bill Nye are sexy beasts.

I'm only half way though at the moment, I'm hoping Felicity the Lesbian cook manages to have some sex with a bird at some point.
ETA - 13:20: She did! YAYS!

Enjoy the music!

The Days Left To Sing To )
eumelia: (music)
Day 2: A song that makes you cry.
Ha! They are legion!
But the two that never fail are:
Sarah Mclachlan's "Fear" - it makes me cry because of the tone of despair that comes from it, and wherever there is despair there is always a touch of hope and there is nothing more painful that hope.
Not really.


And America's "The Last Unicorn" ,which is also one of the best animated features ever made!
Alas, no embed, here's the video.
I think the reason this song makes me cry is because it mourns something that only exists in the imagination. A dream that we want to see made real, but could never really contain. A mythical beast that is all about goodness and purity, two things humanity seems to not be able to actually formulate.
eumelia: (omg lesbians!)
So everyone knows about the Comic-Con Counter Protest to the Crazy Christians who go around demonstrating at various places in order to get publicity, right?

If you still have no idea what I'm talking about (bad Internet week?) here's a link.

My favourite sign is "Kill All Humans" carried by a Bender cosplayer.

And hey! There's a video from The Nostalgia Chick!


Actual content regarding srs bznz, coming soon!
eumelia: (flags)
Are you ready to read about some politics?

Are you ready to read about the fact that soon those who advocate (as in speak words) economic boycott against Israeli products will be criminalised?

Are you ready to read about the fact Israel believes that the Occupation is a public relations problem and not an actual human rights problem?

Are any of these things News to you?

They are not to me, but here's the gist. The Boycott, Divest and Sanction movement is gaining momentum. So much so, that politicians are running scared and have drafted a law (which has already passed a first reading - for a Bill to be passed it needs to pass three reads in the Knesset) in which supporting, advocating and participating in BDS activities will be criminalised: Seriously.
Of course, this all came about because the Palestinian Authority boycotted Israel first!

Wrong.
The most brutal, naked boycott is, of course, the siege on Gaza and the boycott of Hamas. At Israel's behest, nearly all Western countries signed onto the boycott with inexplicable alacrity. This is not just a siege that has left Gaza in a state of shortage for three years. Nor is it just a complete (and foolish ) boycott of Hamas, save for the discussions over abducted soldier Gilad Shalit. It's a series of cultural, academic, humanitarian and economic boycotts. Israel threatens nearly every diplomat who seeks to enter Gaza to see firsthand the unbearable sights.


The Israeli mind set, of which mine does not escape, views everything in terms of warfare, something that Dr. Dalit Baum articulated in the video embedded below. A boycott, by it's definition, is a pro-active non-violent form of protest by abstaining from economically participating and dealing with bodies, organisations and governments whose policies, for instance, you do not believe deserve to be supported.



But that, that's Antisemitism right there, not willing to wheel and deal with Israelis, well... that's you being a hateful bigot isn't it?

Never mind that an Arab man is currently in hospital for talking to a Jewish girl. But no, there's no racism.
None at all

It's all, one big PR problem. And you who are freakin' fantastic at PR?
Gays.
Yep, Liberals in Europe and the United States always approve of the Gays.
I mean, all Israel needs is a little re-branding.
Gays made the best logos.
Especially when they host great parties and have a fabulous night life.
C'mon over my brothers! Tel Aviv is just the City for you.

Don't mind that girl who was beaten to a bloody pulp by her brothers because she's trangender (the girl is constantly misgendered in the article).
Or the fact that it has been a whole entire fucking year since the murder at the Gay Youth club and the murderer is still at large.

But no, we queers have to be the pretty face Israel presents the world because while we continue to benefit for activist judges and some social progression, the IDF proclaims itself to be under no obligation to protect civilians. By the way, that white phosphorus Israel has been denying it used during the assault on Gaza? Well, now we're going to "reduce its use".
Brilliant hypocrisy.
Just fucking brilliant.

This is what Israeli democracy looks like - with Loyalty tests, religious persecution, racial inequality, human rights violations and hijacking the language of human rights in order to paint ourselves as better, more accepting, more tolerant and Normal.
eumelia: (music)
Post 5 songs (or more) that start with the letter you're given. Let me know if you'd like a letter.

[personal profile] tamara_russo gave me the letter I.

It is a good letter, videos embedded under the cuts:

I Am Stretched On Your Grave )
It's haunting. She sings with pain that strikes true and it's always accompanied by distinctive Irish instruments and trills.

Favourite Line: I still would be your shelter/Through rain and through storm/And with you in your cold grave/I cannot sleep warm

I Can't Decide )
I've often discovered music through shows that I love. Scissors Sisters is no different. of course I heard them on the radio, who doesn't know "I Don't Feel Like Dancing", but when I heard this song and creepy lyrics, I knew it was a match made in heaven. The video will tell you why I love it so...

Favourite Line: It's a bitch convincing people to like you

I Am The Walrus )
Who doesn't love Surrealism and interacting with "Alice in Wonderland"?

Favourite Line: Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun./If the sun don't come, you get wet from/Sitting in the English rain.

I'm Afraid of Americans )
I actually only recently discovered this song, mainly because of this fanvideo. It is superb use of a song and images from a mediocre movie to make a video with bite.
The song itself it fantastic, because I always enjoy clever lyircs about contemporary politics.

Favourite Line: Johnny wants pussy in cars.

Last, but certainly not least! I Think I'm Paranoid )
Shirley Manson was the first female celebrity I ever crushed on.
She confused me. In a good way.
The video of this song was the first time I ever laid eyes on her.
I still love this song, especially because I did grow up to be paranoid. It doesn't mean they're not out to get me.

Favourite Line: You can look, but you can't touch/I don't think I like you much/Heaven knows what a girl can do/Heaven knows what you've got to prove
eumelia: (fight like a girrl)
Finally, finally, finally, I got it done! It took way longer than I thought, but yay! Listening to the same descriptions over and over again is quite harrowing - I cannot begin to imagine how it must have felt to be in Neli's shoes that day.

Any way, here's the video again, and under the cut is the transcript:


Autism and Racial Injustice: Neli Finally Tells His Story )

I didn't transcript the whole thing, in the end. I looked for others who began to transcript it and thanks to [personal profile] trouble who contacted me earlier this week regarding the DW comm called [community profile] transcripts I managed to finish this task by copying and pasting a segment from [personal profile] terajk's transcript here - the part that zie wrote begins at "Okay. So once they got you down to the police station, then what did they try to do?", thank you very much [personal profile] terajk, *hat/tip*.
eumelia: (fight like a girrl)
Remember last week I boosted a signal regarding Neli (LJ/DW), a young black man on the Autism Spectrum who was harassed and arrested by the police outside the public library.

Well, his mother commented on the post and asked that we spread this video of Neli, telling his side of the story:
eumelia: (Default)
This is a really touching and well made Israeli documentary with English subtitles, about a young Drag Queen from a working class town who lives with his (female pronouns only when in costume) mother, served in the Army and performs Drag.
It's fascinating. Heart breaking and heart warming at the same time.

Only 40 minutes long. Watch it, pass it along.



Official Synopsis under the cut )

Profile

eumelia: (Default)
Eumelia

June 2015

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V and Justice

V: Ah, I was forgetting that we are not properly introduced. I do not have a name. You can call me V. Madam Justice...this is V. V... this is Madam Justice. hello, Madam Justice.

Justice: Good evening, V.

V: There. Now we know each other. Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what you're thinking...

Justice: The poor boy has a crush on me...an adolescent fatuation.

V: I beg your pardon, Madam. It isn't like that at all. I've long admired you...albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets below when I was a child. I'd say to my father, "Who is that lady?" And he'd say "That's Madam Justice." And I'd say "Isn't she pretty."

V: Please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person. As an ideal.

Justice: What? V! For shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot, some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!

V: I, Madam? I beg to differ! It was your infidelity that drove me to her arms!

V: Ah-ha! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling. But I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform.

Justice: Uniform? Why I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, V. You were the only one...

V: Liar! Slut! Whore! Deny that you let him have his way with you, him with his armbands and jackboots!

V: Well? Cat got your tongue? I though as much.

V: Very well. So you stand revealed at last. you are no longer my justice. You are his justice now. You have bedded another.

Justice: Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she, V? What is her name?

V: Her name is Anarchy. And she has taught me more as a mistress than you ever did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none. Unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So good bye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved.

*KABOOM!*

-"V for Vendetta"

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