eumelia: (rest and relaxation)
2013 has been my leanest year by far when it comes to writing here, the reasons are multifaceted and strange, but they the main one is that I have been sucked into the world of micro-blogging.

It may surprise you to hear, but I do very well on twitter (the link to it is on the upper left corner there). The content is pretty exactly the same there and it was here - feminism, fandom, queeriosity, politics, etc.

But friends, I have over 400 followers. That's not as many as some, I don't think my influence is that great - pah! Look at my ego go - but people like what I have to say, this is amazing to me at times.

I suspect that if I could have DW/LJ open at the office (and I sort of can, in a way, now that I think about it) I'd blog more. You see, I work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week (sometimes weekends) and I really love my job, but it doesn't really give me time to write long form. Texting quickly is where it's at and with my job, being connected to social media actually helps, so getting lost in the friends list may not be wise - but it might help my sanity? Who knows, I'm not sure.

I'm still living with my parents, 2013 was the year in which I did not move out, basically.

One thing that keeps me happy is fandom. I'm still watching "Hawaii Five-0" despite feeling like it reached it's peak in episode 3.15 and then took a nosedive to a place I sometimes find myself thinking "what the fuck am I watching?", but Scott Caan, Danny and his relationships with the team keep me going and keep me inspired, so I'm not giving up yet.

It has made me a bit lonely, though. Not being a multi-shipper (the little sparks of Danny/Kono and Danny/Mary and Danny/Almost-anyone-let's-face-it notwithstanding) I find myself a bit estranged from some of the fandom friends I've made when I realised that the majority of the McDanno fans aren't what I'd call home.

I feel very torn and pulled, floating along with the very few with whom I can gush and lose my head with and the fact that the rest of time I feel policed and annoyed.

Them's the breaks, I guess. I'm hoping the upcoming episodes uplift me a bit, knowing a few of the spoilers help when they don't make me fucking anxious because I trust Peter Lenkov et al about as much I trust the piece of Lego I stepped on.

I do hope to get back to writing long form, again.

That's what the arbitrary changing of dates is for, right?

See you on the flipside.

Tumblr crossover
eumelia: (drink to that)
Hello friends and random readers.

I had a feverish moment in which I would connect my twitter and my journals, cross posting my tweets and my posts to each platform, but I think that would be bad.

I figure if there's something I want everyone on my twitter followers to see I could simply link manually. I opted out of connecting my tumblr to twitter for the same reason. Most of the things I've wanted to have read in a vaster way I'd link anyway, so I think I'll just keep doing that.

Last night there were 18 people in the house. We all ate. If you'd like to know what was on the menu, it was as follows and in approximate order of serving:

Apples and honey
Round challah loafs
Chopped liver
Chopped herring
Gefilteh fish
Chicken soup with kreplach (meat dumplings)
Pea soup
Brisket
Chicken wings
Chicken legs
Roasted vegetables
Roast potatoes
Chopped salad
Couscous
Fruit platter
Passion fruit custard (I think?)
Chocolate and honey brownies
Chocolate and honey cake

I collapsed into bed after the clean up (and a cup of coffee) in a heap of food coma, my god, there was a lot of food. And I ate more of it for a late lunch.

The meat cooked and consumed over the holidays are truly throwbacks to the sacrifices slaughtered in the name of god at the Temple. Noms.

I would have eaten earlier if it weren't for the fact that I'm working from home today, which is fine, I like my job, but wow, there was a lot of it this morning! I'm working more a little later on (in an hour) but then I'll be done and I have a weekend to lounge around in.

Four day holiday weekends are the best if you ask me.
eumelia: (wave dropping)
Good evening.

It's the night before Erev Rosh Hashana (New Year's Eve) and I'm freakin' exhausted.

Those of you who follow me and are active on twitter will know of the saga of the window that has been haunting me since Friday morning.

What is the saga of the window you might ask? Let me tell you from the beginning.

My bedroom had carpeting put approximately 20-odd years ago. It was brown. In the late 1980's early 1990's I assume this was he height of floor fashion. I was a mite too young to appreciate it. Nevertheless it was brown. My parents decided my room needed a renovation and put in parquet. It looks lovely, really it does and it makes the room look bigger and lighter than the god-awful brown wall to wall carpeting - a thing I will never do in a home of my own, it is a horror to clean (when one bothers to do so) and collects dust and hair and insects.

Insects.

If you've been reading me for long enough, you know I have a terrible phobia of cockroaches. You see, last summer the humidity and temperature were ideal for these cretins to spread their wings and fly. And so father put a mesh net over the inside of my window as an attempt to keep the creepies out. It worked for the most part, but looked ugly as sin and it was a bitch to clean my shutters and window panes.

And so, along with a brand spanking new floor a new window was installed.

Only on Friday when everything was supposed to have been done at the same time, floor and window, there were malfunctions.

The window workman brought a torn net panel that was designed to be on the outside of my window to keep my mortal enemies outside my domain. So... it was decided he'd come back on Sunday.

Only on Sunday he decided he couldn't make it.

So he came on Monday. Only when I got back from work that evening I was told that he'd torn the mesh net again.

I swear, I felt like I was going to have a tantrum that rival my 2.5 year old niece! You see, all my stuff, all my property was in a pile in a living room while we waited for this incompetent ass to get his act together. I spent my nights in my childhood bedroom, where my nieces and nephews sleep when they come visit. It wasn't bad, but I was stressing out because it was taking so long and on the Saturday when I started cleaning up the floor and rearranging my bookshelves a baby cockroach flew on me.

It was creepy!

But this afternoon my mother sent my a text in which she told me "Tonight's the night!"

My reply was "Hallelujah! :)"

Yes, smiley included.

So tonight I sleep in my own bedroom, in my own bed, with all my stuff clean and tidy.

It was a rough week because as I said, I was stressing out and I everything was going wrong and my mom was resenting my bad mood, which made me resent her and her bad moods like fucking whoa!

But we got through it and it's now over.

Tomorrow the whole entire clan is coming over to celebrate Rosh Hashana. I'm so glad alcohol is a mitzvah.
eumelia: (brilliant)
It's the first of September and I'm here!

First of all, oh my god, [personal profile] perspi thank you so much for the DW points, that is so generous and lovely and thoughtful! And brilliant gift for the new Hebrew year. Thank you.

Second of all, it is indeed the week of Rosh Ha'Shana and it being so, I'm really going to make an effort to reactivate my long form blogging on DW and LJ. Who knows, maybe connect the account to twitter (which is where I spend most of my time at this point - it's helpful for work and for fast speedy one liner thoughts that need an outlet.)

Twitter, though, is one of the most passive aggressive platform on earth. There are days in which I feel like everyone is mean spirited, myself included, despite the fact that I try to curb my passive aggressive tendencies by being, well, aggressive aggressive.

It's a finicky thing. I do like the attention of that platfrom and have a very healthy mix of queers, feminists and fans that I follow and who follow me back. I've never been so popular.

It's actually been a stressful time (I know, when isn't it?), Hawaii Five-0 fandom continues to be toxic - it will never stop being so so long as some fans feel they are entitled to shame others in the name of a celebrity who deigned to talk to them - not to mention that the showrunner himself is a racist asshole.

I'll live with the pain, I guess, in the name of Scott and Danny. It's hard, not gonna lie, it takes a lot to just be happy in that fandom, it is rife with bullshit I don't deal with very well, but this is the show that hooked me and it's not letting go.

As for real life, you guys, I promise, in the hour of need I promise to take a selfie with my gas mask on and caption it "Are you my Mummy?"

Funny, right!?

More later!
eumelia: (Default)
August where have you gone?

I was elswhere on the internet. It's hard to break these kind of habits.

But next week it's Rosh Ha'Shana, and that's as good an arbitrary marker as any, right?

Good.
eumelia: (wave dropping)
So this is turning into a once weekly report of my life.

I need to get back to reading more (fiction) books and reading long form in general, I think that's part of my problem with not writing here much - as well as the time I am lacking by not having all the leisure time I want.

Yes, that is now a regular complaint. I work 40 hours a week (sometimes more) and whoever thought this was a fair amount of time for a "decent" wage should have their sensitive areas pinched to the point of necrosis.

But let's put that morbidity aside.

This Friday morning I'm exhausted for a really good reason! I went to Roller Derby last night! I fell three times, but I fell forward, so I'm in a lot less pain than I was the last time. But I'm definitely feeling everything and just, wow, I am out of shape.

I talked about this briefly with other peeps, but I'm thinking maybe I should look into jogging because I'm a blob.

My life is ridiculously sedentary, I sit on the bus on my commute to work, I sit at my desk and my computer for 9-10 hours, I sit on the bus on my commute home, and then I sit at home with Elphaba for my fun times.

My life is mainly sitting. Blob. I think if my work was more physical I wouldn't feel like my body isn't representative of my lifestyle. Body image issues? Pfft.

Regardless, if I can go to Derby twice a week for a month, I'll invest in my own pair of skates. The skates the team lend me for practice are purple. I'd like mine to be fuchsia.

We shall see.
eumelia: (mystique)
I figured you'd all be interested to know that I grew up.

I went up a cup size and went down in band size. This because I've been wearing the wrong size bra for who knows how long. I went up from a C to a D and down from an (European sizing) 85 to a 75. For the first time in years my bras feel snug and aren't poking into me.

Who knew!?

Well, apparently lots of people, because more than once when my girl friends and I discussed the topic of bras, which was kind of often, seeing as many of us are busty and bras over a certain size are fucking expensive and can only be found in "speciality size underwear shops" which another post for a different day.

*deep breath*

In any event, I decided to use the holiday coupons I got from work to buy new bras. I also decided I'd ask what size I should wear. The staffer took one look at me and said sternly. "You're a 75D." And I was all, um, okay, let me try them on.

Which I did.

It was a hallelujah moment, let me tell you.

I bought four new, beautiful bras last week and I've had the chance to wear two of them so far.

One of them creaks.

Like an old floorboard. No really, when I move my shoulders, it sounds like I need oiling. Which is what my boss said to me when she asked me, "Are you creaking?" I mean, she called me the Tin-Man!

It was a source of great amusement at work, where we are very casual, and people found my bewilderment rather funny.

But what's really extraordinary is that other people have mentioned this happening to them too! That this is apparently something that happens when you have a bigger bust.

Cut for body image issues and internalised fatphobia )

Also, regardless of what size you are, you can enjoy Busty Girl Comics!
eumelia: (jewish revenge)
I'm such a flake. I swear, it's ridiculous. The time suckage of twitter and tumblr are atrophying my ability to actually brain and write in long form.

I think the fact that my job also demands brevity is affecting my ability and skill to actually sit down and concentrate on a proper post, I don't know, I just want to write here more and there's no one to kick my ass about actually doing it.

I have many thought and links that I just shoot off on twitter, I drool over images on tumblr and just can't seem to sit down and write down the meanderings of my brain like I used to. I mean, I look back at my DW and LJ and there are swaths of navel gazing diatribes about whatever and analysis of links that I'd find.

Now, I'm almost 30, have a steady job, doing the Millennial thing of being single and living at home because the economy fucking sucks and wants me to spend more money that I can afford on things like rent, utilities and food.

But I'll wave that away for now, because I went on a two week long vacation, chronicled on my phone, email and twitter, bought a new computer (that saga of me locking myself out of Elphaba was written as well).

I'm watching "Orphan Black" now, and also want to get into a few other shows. I'm hoping I'm inspired to write longer thoughts about them all, as well as fic.

I keep saying I want to get back into the groove of writing. Well, that's also something right.
eumelia: (coffee)
Hello lovies!

It has been too long. I've come and gone on my holiday, which I will write up at some point and add pics, I promise. I really did try to blog, but writing in long form on Officer Kalakaua was not easy.

I came back a week ago and throughout that week I felt very keenly the lack of personal computer - been on my phone (Wombat), tablet (Officer Kalakaua) and my mother's guest account on her desktop and truthfully... it was not fun.

But now I'm typing on my brand spanking new Samsung Series 5 with 1TB of hard disk memory and 8GB of RAM! SQUEEEE! She is so pretty and her name is Elphaba (after the witch of the west from "Wicked") and I'm adoring her.

Been downloading all the things to get her up and running as I want, still need to transfer files from my external hard disk which I used in order to backup Ursula when her network card went kaput and her screen card began to die.

Windows 8 is very confusing though. The no "Start" button, dafuq Microsoft, who thought this was a good idea. It's like how the other day I was on my twitter client and was suddenly told I'd reached my "daily limit of 50 tweets a day" to which I snorted and was greatly annoyed. I then tweeted at the client's official twitter and helpdesk accounts for many hours with major complaints.

They ended up rolling back the feature because I tell you, as a daily twitter user (and I use twitter for conversation) the amount of tweets that I write way over 50 per day.

Like my twitter client, Microsoft is all about rolling back "features". Good job with the Xbox-One (er... 180 now?)

But Elphaba is lovely, sleek, and waiting for her Windows 8.1 update. Only a few more days to the return of the "Start" button!

Soon I shall also get Office and I'l have my beloved Word back!
eumelia: (gryffindor)
I'm still London, but not for very much longer. Soon I'll be on my way to the next leg of my adventure and leaving Albion for Flatland, aka the Netherlands.

I've been walking so much and keeping tabs through twitter and random notes. I've been quite exhausted by the time I arrive back to my cousin's place.

I have been having a blast though, I didn't think I'd enjoy myself all that much alone, I generally like sharing my experiences with someone, but having a smartphone has really helped with that. When I see something I think is awesome I can take a pic and shoot it off to twitter and I've been emailing my family with pics as well. You're not really travelling on your own when your friends and family are in your pocket.

Tomorrow I have a five hour train journey to the continent. Hopefully I'll post my Cardiff, David Bowie, Kensington Gardens, Tate Modern and Westminster adventures.

Sorry I didn't get a chance to meet everyone who was around, my time was/is limited, but I have no doubt there will be ample opportunities in the future.
eumelia: (coffee)
Finally got coffee in me and I can concentrate a bit.

I shall briefly mention that I spent my Saturday walking around the Natural History museum wherein I spammed my twitter feed with pics of what I was seeing. I can't remember if I went to the Natural History museum the last time I was in London in 2007, but I felt so very nostalgic when I was walking around. It was like I was 8 years old again. I love the dinosaurs and the Earth exhibitions. I took many pics which I'll post as soon as I get to computer and transfer them off the camera and mobile devices.

I also visited the science museum for a quick look see, because there was an exhibit about Alan Turing and his work on computers and mathematics. All fascinating stuff. His death seems to have a been a true loss.

Sunday... Sunday was a real adventure to which I'll dedicate a post a little later. I have to get ready for the David Bowie exhibition at the Victoria & Albert.
eumelia: (not in rome)
I have arrived in the UK!

My flight was at ass o'clock (05:30 in the morning), I was lucky enough to have my bff drive me to the airport in the middle of the night. I froze in the passenger lounge, so that was fun.

I don't remember much of the flight as I was knocked out for a great portion of it, I remember there was a dry omelette and water... and then nothing.

When I landed I realised my phone wasn't behaving like it should, no internet, no outgoing calls, which was distressing. But after I was let into the country by the most unfriendly border force officer ever, I called my cell phone company and got it sorted... mostly. I'm not too concerned.

My mother's cousin (with whom I'm staying) picked me up from the middle of nowhere, where I was dropped off by the bus and we drove to her daughter's house. The best cup of coffee was drunk and short bread biscuits were eaten as we all caught up and eventually had lunch.

I'm dead on my feet, but I still traipsed through London in order to get to the Victoria and Albert museum and buy a ticket for the David Bowie exhibition on Monday. Haza!

I'm currently vegging on the couch with Officer Kalakaua in my hands and I'm watching the Danish drama "Borgen", ah, it's so good, the acting, the pretty English they speak sometimes... Danish sounds very happy, but they all look sad.

Tomorrow I'm letting myself get up whenever and I'll head to the museums of my childhood; Natural History and Science (there's an Alan Turing exhibition it seems.)

Must eat and have another coffee.
eumelia: (not in rome)
Good morning. I've decided to try entering journal posts on the move, considering the fact that I'll be travelling extensively over the next two weeks. And yeah, I'll be taking my tablet Officer Kalakaua with me, I thought it would be fun to try to chronicle the vacation in long form and not just tweet randomly.

I don't know what my connectivity is going to be like, so this may all be for nothing, but it's worth a try.

I'm still laptop deficient, relying on my phone and tablet for most things, but seeing as my work is Internet based and the access to my mother's guest account on her desktop, I am most certainly not offline.

I do, however, miss the reliability of a pc. My tablet isn't capricious as all that, but the amount of DYAC that come from this little touch screen keyboard are too comical, not to mention that my go to websites tend to be a bit borked.

Still, it is a lot, I'm aware.

Here's to being around here more during my holiday!
eumelia: (oh no!)
I've been spending most of my days on my mobile devices, because my parents are back and the desktop actually belongs to my mother. Still, when she's not on it, I'm on her guest account.

Not having a laptop/PC of my own is a pain, but I still manage to stay connected, though it curbs my desire for long term writing because the touch screen keyboard really isn't all that.

If you follow me on Tumblr, don't expect to see me there until I get a laptop, I hate the mobile apps for the website (they're clunky and don't have saviour, meaning everything I don't want to see... is there to be seen) and I can't really have my dash up here because a bunch of it is not safe for work, making it not safe for parents who may glance in my direction while I'm on the main desktop with it's ginormous wide screen.

Still, I am around and hopefully I'll keep blogging until I head out on my holiday next weekend. Yes, I'm finally off on my two week holiday next Friday! I haven't had a proper holiday in quite a while. All my other long weekends this year were with my family and while I love them, they aren't really all that relaxing come to think of it.

I've been blocked with fic writing for months, hopefully this two week jaunt will help clear my head and give me some new experiences to sublimate.

So, yay for that!

Update

May. 18th, 2013 07:52 pm
eumelia: (oy vey)
I'm sick. Please forgive any mishaps and incoherence.

I turned 28 this week, hurray for me!

I'm currently using my mother's guest account on her desktop because my laptop finally bit the dust. The screen had been kind of wonky the past few months, but now her network card is dead and it's like she's in a coma.

Right, yes, her. Ursula the laptop served me very well these past four or so years.

Ugh, I'm finding it hard to concentrate, forgive me. Sore throat.

I have much to tell, really I do, but the words are stuck. Been blocked for a while now.

Maybe later this week. I hope.

Blah, fever.
eumelia: (brilliant)
I cleaned my room yesterday.

Those of you who have been with me for a few years know that this is generally a full day's project, a morning till night kind of deal.

It wasn't so bad this time. I only filled two garbage bags and discarded of a broken computer that was sitting there, masquerading as a dust collector.

My room suddenly has a fresh smell and feels airy. I put a lot of my knick knacks into storage, including my 30+ snow globe collection. I did that when I moved back in with my parents last year, but this time I also rearranged my current collection of stuff.

All this is very mundane, but it's also significant, because once again I neglected this place and I think I neglected you all, which isn't fair, ever.

Hopefully this clean really is a new leaf for me, because I've also been feeling creatively stunted for a while. I haven't written meta in months (for a variety of reasons) and I've been stymied when it comes to fic that I'd like other people to read and not self indulgent exercises.

My life has been pretty monotonous unfortunately, I haven't had time to return to roller derby and I'm basically working all the damn time.

I'm sorry I wasn't around for important things that happened to you guys. I have no excuse other than the fact that long form writing seems to be out of my reach lately.

Love you all.

Meh

Mar. 21st, 2013 09:52 pm
eumelia: (oh no!)
This has been the worst week ever at work. Renovations and hypervigilance fucking suck.

There was a bright light of the Hawaii Five-0 episode.

But that's pretty much it.

I'm so tired and I have to work this weekend.

Remember when I said I'd be around more?

Yeah, okay.
eumelia: (tickled pink)
Work continues to kick my ass. I continue to do well and make mistakes. I can see that I'm not making many mistakes, but you know, no one praises you for a job well done when you manage a day in which you don't have to fix a hiccup.

I've signed up for the ABC H/C Hawaii Five-0 Challenge.

I got the creepiest prompt of them all; "Buried Alive", which I had planned to make hopeless and terrible, because my brain is a lovely place to stay for a holiday. Thankfully my beta-to-be talked me out of my original idea and now I have something creepier, really!

What I don't have is time or discipline. I need to sit on my ass and write, but it's a hardship and I'm annoyed, because I want to write more, but my lifestyle is such that I basically get home from work and vegetate.

Tumblr is very good for vegetation.

I still want to write all the meta and a spiel about identifying with a fictional character in the most profound way, but at this point it just feels like I'm reaching for the impossible.

Profile

eumelia: (Default)
Eumelia

June 2015

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V and Justice

V: Ah, I was forgetting that we are not properly introduced. I do not have a name. You can call me V. Madam Justice...this is V. V... this is Madam Justice. hello, Madam Justice.

Justice: Good evening, V.

V: There. Now we know each other. Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what you're thinking...

Justice: The poor boy has a crush on me...an adolescent fatuation.

V: I beg your pardon, Madam. It isn't like that at all. I've long admired you...albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets below when I was a child. I'd say to my father, "Who is that lady?" And he'd say "That's Madam Justice." And I'd say "Isn't she pretty."

V: Please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person. As an ideal.

Justice: What? V! For shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot, some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!

V: I, Madam? I beg to differ! It was your infidelity that drove me to her arms!

V: Ah-ha! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling. But I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform.

Justice: Uniform? Why I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, V. You were the only one...

V: Liar! Slut! Whore! Deny that you let him have his way with you, him with his armbands and jackboots!

V: Well? Cat got your tongue? I though as much.

V: Very well. So you stand revealed at last. you are no longer my justice. You are his justice now. You have bedded another.

Justice: Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she, V? What is her name?

V: Her name is Anarchy. And she has taught me more as a mistress than you ever did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none. Unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So good bye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved.

*KABOOM!*

-"V for Vendetta"

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