eumelia: (Default)
I slept like a log last night.
Woke up at dawn and watched a first instances of light filter through... and went back to sleep.
No dreams.
No visions.
Just... pure sleep.

Last night I was unable to write about the film coherently because I was still in a state of catharsis.
It's a very difficult movie, the animation creates a buffer from the gory reality that is portrayed and the seamless transition between the present, memory and hallucination was... magnificent.

Ari Folman is a very courageous film maker, he is making a statement that is very, very political but yet transcends "Left" or "Right", he's showing how we remember that which we really don't want to.
Folman himself doesn't consider the film to be political, just very personal.
But everyone knows, by now, that the Personal is Political and he shows us exactly how intricate that relationship is.

We don't see what went through the minds of the Phalangists or of the Palestinians, he only shows us what goes on in the mind of kids men, who were kids, that witnessed an atrocity and were also complicit in it.

As I said, watching the movie inevitably brought back memories of my own War.
The second Lebanon war.
I recognised Beirut in ruins and I recognised the aerial films that target people in order to bomb them.
Not much has changed.
That could very well have been a point.

Memory is a weird and, ha, surreal thing.
It's also a real thing, though not tangible.
The film shows how this works, how events that are experienced, history will construe differently.
There are complete scenes in the movie that reminded me of things I experienced, but I don't really want to give things away because not knowing all the details and spoilers really enhances the viewing.
One thing that is by now well known about the movie is that at the very end, just before the credits, there is actual footage of Sabra and Shatila after the massacre and it happens just as the young soldier remembers, clearly and really, what happened.
Those memories of war which for twenty years he just didn't want to remember.

It was extraordinary.

Watching the movie wasn't just cathartic for me.
With this viewing I feel I've come full circle with myself as far as my own war is concerned.
Which makes me very, very glad.
Because with the closing of this story I don't need to be haunted any more, I don't need to make sure all the time that I'm not too anxious or starting a spiral of panic.
I'm stronger than I used to be.
Even my therapist says so... and so I've reached a peak of my therapy and will no longer be needing to see her on such a regular basis... just when and if I need to.
Which makes me very, very glad.

Behind the very beautiful moving pictures is a very real and true story, history and it is unforgiving.
This movie is an anti-war film in the sense that when you identify with the soldiers, and you do, you don't want to be there just as much as them.
I have a feeling I'll carry this movie for a long time.

The trailer is really just a taste, a drop in the ocean that is this film: Waltz with Bashir )

I hope this didn't take too much of your time.
eumelia: (Default)
I've just come back from a movie.

Probably the most important move I've ever seen (or will see) my whole life.

Memory is something we're told to cherish and hold close to our hearts and to never let go of the memories.
Memories are who we are.

I've just come back from watching a movie.
It's an animated feature.
The genre is slippery; it could be a documentary, a biopic or even just your run of the mill (anti)war movie.
But it's not just any of those things.
It's a movie about what we don't want to deal with.

Waltz with Bashir is a movie about how we remember and don't remember and why.
Knowing the details of Sabra and Shatila, the Phalangists and Israel's own complicity in what happened doesn't prepare you for this fragmented tale of memory and the remembering of memories... not forgotten... just... gone away.

Not coherent I know.

I'm still speechless and weepy.
Remembering my own images of war - which were removed from me by cameras and screens and radio coms - the animation helps to keep the gory details away, just like memory filters away those terrible images and you remember them... but without the impact that will have you shaking and sobbing and vomiting.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to write something that will make sense.
Maybe not.

If it's in a cinema near you... go see it.
Go.
Just... go.

Scratched

Jul. 22nd, 2008 01:16 am
eumelia: (Default)
Fuck.

Well, that's one way to start an entry about the War and the two years that followed it.

When I was called into to the HQ for war-time reserve I really didn't think I'd be stuck there for a month. I didn't think my life would ever include running on adrenaline, going to the bathroom twice in a twelve hour shift and seeing people blow up.

During that time I did my best to disassociate myself from what was going on (I wore a uniform so ripped and graffitied upon, I put on Pride buttons, I drew Venus symbols on the pants and at every opportunity I sat in half a uniform, just the pants and a tank-top - just so I wouldn't look like I was conforming, despite the fact that I was). I was competent and did my best to help the people I was with, but I never tried to improve my skill, I was there to support my fellow shift members - even doing four shifts in a row so that they could get a proper rest and not fall apart at the seams, somehow, I held myself together and didn't fall apart until six months later.

During the War itself I ignored this intuitive knowledge, just like everyone else. I remember saying things that annoyed the people around me because my belief in what I was doing was pretty non-existent, but I did it because I was told I was needed and I'm just that much of a sucker (though no, knowing what I know now I'd never agree to do this sort of thing again... being an agent of death once, was enough).

In the six months following the War I went through a lot of changes. Most of them can be read in this here LJ, if you're so inclined. Basically, the values I held in theory began to solidify and I really couldn't look back at that month of my life without feeling guilty and helpless - especially because at the time I knew that we had gone on the rampage for bravado and to scare The Enemy into submission and not to really go in and get the kidnapped soldiers (yes, the ones returned to us last week).

It was also during those months that my friends and family realised that something was Wrong. I felt Wrong, like I was outside myself, that I had no control over what was going on inside of me and outside of me. So after many attempts to just talk to my friends about the fact that I don't sleep, am constantly angry, am constantly crying and that I am in a constant state of hate, rage and profound distrust, I actually went and sought professional help.

It was also during this time that I drifted quite far away from the comfy Left-of-Centre politics I had lived the majority of my life - Feminist, racism is bad, the Settlements in the Occupied Territories are the root the Occupation and thus must be removed, etc. etc. etc. All this without any understanding of the machinations that created the circumstances in which carpet bombs were used without notifying anyone on the ground.

And so I drifted Left (I suppose I would be considered Loony or Radical, depending on your perspective) and I feel good being in this place of self-examination and activism, it is probably what has prevented me from stumbling into clinical depression.

Trauma never really goes away.
In Hebrew there is a slang word for someone being messed up over something and never being the same and that is שרוט/ה in English it is "scratched", like a vinyl on a record player, when it hits that scratch there is a warp in the sounds that the vinyl is supposed to emit, but it gets stuck on that warp and the cacophony can be deafening.
It can also carry long distances, two years in measured time.
Most likely for longer.

In the shadow of these events, Haggai Alon (חגי אלון), a political consultant and analyst gave an interview to Ha'aretz reporter Akiva Eldar (עקיבא אלדר) about the goings on behind closed doors in the early days of the War and in the latter days and how many, if not most or all of the terrible, ahem, oversights.
The interview in Hebrew - שבויים בקונספציה.
The interview in English - A painful return to fateful hours.
eumelia: (Default)
Reply to the Meme:

Buffy and the Basics

My favourite season is probably the third (even though most of my favourite individual eps are from the fourth and sixth seasons), but the arch with the Mayor, Faith and the way ethics and morality got all mixed around in that season, making it so much more complicated than the second and most certainly the first. I feel the third offers the most foreshadowing (in retrospect obviously) to the rest of the seasons; Buffy's relationship with her friends, her independence, Willow and Xander finally closing up the feelings that were quite obvious between them before... I mean two of my favourite eps are the two most connected ones, The Wish and Doppelgangland... 'tis cool with the sexy Willow and the foreshadowing of #1 her Lesbianism (which admittedly I felt had more to do with Tara as a person rather than her inherent sexuality) and #2 her total badassness as a villain - the Troika may have been the baddies, but Willow was the Big Bad - especially as a Vamp.

And a little basic information on me: I'm 22, I had a perfectly normal sheltered childhood, most Jewish families have in the towns surrounding Tel-Aviv from Anglo-Saxon background (my family is South African) I'm the first Sabra, I was born in Israel and have never lived anywhere else, unless you include the six months I spent in the US with my sister as an Au Pair (see the America saga for time I spend there between Feb-July 2006).
I have no idea what I want to do when I finish Uni, I've barely started that yet.

A defining/important moment in my childhood/teen-hood

*sigh* I don't know! I lived a little sheltered life, nothing happened to me, ever, I was totally oblivious to everything that didn't concern me... even the Gulf War in which Scuds came down on us passed without scarring me (I think, my therapist doesn't seem to think it affected me especially).
There are two things which really come to mind as defining moments or events - and that's probably the birth of my oldest Nephew... suddenly I was auntie and my sister was a mother, I was pretty overwhelmed at the time. I was 16 and when I held him the first time I cried and was really scared I'd drop him or do something horrible, but all I had to do was hold him close and it was okay. Now the boy is six and I have to struggle just to give him a kiss, *sigh* they grow up quick - we do argue about the Beatles though, I'm a John-girl, he's Paul all the way *grin*.
The second event is the second Lebanon War, it affected me in a way I never thought could actually happen in real life, you can find out more by reading my entries about my reserve service (which I no longer do) here - July-Aug 2006.

Vegetarianism

I became a vegetarian very late in life, only two years ago.
My oldest sister has been a veg most of her life and for some reason it never rubbed off on me until I was 21.
I decided to go veg when I realized I wanted to live a more ethical life (which I felt started when I stopped consuming disposable menstrual products and began using a Mooncup), I briefly considered going vegan, but that would have been too much of an imposition on my mother (who cooks the food I eat) and thus kind of negate the whole ethical thing - when I live on my own we'll see what happens.
The whole vegetarian thing, when it comes late in life, is sort of mystifying to old friends and acquaintances: Why now and not before? How much difference does it actually make? Where do you get your protein? But you eat fish* right? It's almost (but not quite) like coming out of the closet, because it requires other to adjust to this new information, which, while not exactly conflicting with the image that one has of me, is still not exactly what they thought.
I really love being a veg, as it opened up a whole new avenue of food that I now eat, which I didn't bother to before - Tofu and different kinds of cheese, fried aubergines, pine nuts - I have more, but none at the top of my head.

*Because for some reason fish is a variant of vegetable o_O

Not to worry! More to come.
eumelia: (Default)
I don't.
Ashkenazi: Public must also prepare for next war (for the link-phobic) )

War Mongers and Hawks are nothing new in Israel's Military/Political elite, most of them base their entire careers on the fact that yes, there will be blood shed.

But the kind of hype and type of ministry of defense (see "love") newspeaka as shown above, I find so disgusting, I don't even have the words to describe the kind of disrespect this sort of address is, especially as it was expressed by the current and former IDF Chief(s) of Staff at a memorial in honour dead soldiers, who died in what was a tragic accident.
To talk to the families and media and say that more soldiers are going to die in up coming wars, is enraging.

Not to mention that Gaydamak is using this as another opportunity to score browney points, look at the nice man, giving money for memorial monuments - Gaydamak also set up a tent city for the North Israel citizens who stayed in the Centre and South during Lebanon War II - he's definitely trying to do the whole "Private is Better" - yeah, let the Capitalists take over social security and services, that way the government won't need to be bothered with the citizens it supposedly serves... sorry went of tangent there.

I despise propaganda; especially fascist, military propaganda that uses dead soldiers to move and stir an agenda which most people would actually oppose!
Yes we must prepare for War, citizens and soldiers band together against the Enemy...
Bah!
eumelia: (Default)
The Report has been published and it's long, very boring and not surprising.
Unlike the last time, this time there was a whole lot more criticism towards the IDF (no names are mentioned and the higher tiers aren't really touched).

There's a lot I could say and add, but it feels superfluous.

I'll just wait to see what the other bloggers are going to say.
eumelia: (Default)
Today the full Winograd Report (which was partially reported in May last year) is to be published in full to the Prime Minister and the the public.

There has been such a hype about this Report (not to mention the salary the committee members are being paid, I nearly fell out of my chair when I read that this report has cost nearly two million NIS) that I know it's going to be disappointing.
I mean former-Chief of Staff Dan Halutz (may the sun he thinks shines out of his ass consume him in a fiery death!) resigned last year and is basically untouchable - it's no wonder he and Olmert got along so well, bunch of slimy snakes... but I digress.
Former-never-should-have-been Defense Minister Amir Peretz also resigned not long after the war.

Current Defense Minister Ehud Barak is under attack by the reservists who are demanding his resignation - seeing as he said he'd resign if the Report was to be negative.
Because we're expecting a bed of roses with a report that's going to show such utter incompetence when it came to the military operations and defending Israeli citizens in the north.

One thing that has been shouted and echoed throughout most (though certainly not all) society is the call for Olmert to resign.
Now I have no love for the man, I don't anyone other than the close members of his family has, but for him to leave government and to throw Israel into early elections at this point in time would be bad. Seeing that at this point the others we have to chose from are a the Comeback Kids - Fascist Capitalist Pig (who is supported by Fascist but also Racist Capitalist Pig) and Neo-Liberal Capitalist Pig (who is being called to resign by a coalition of reservists who are using their status as Active Patriots to affect civilian politics).

Israeli politics; never boring, always utterly filthy and disgusting.

Seeing as I'll be in Uni when the actual Report is to be released to the press, I'll probably miss the initial influx of reactions, but I'll do my best to write about later today.
eumelia: (Default)

מה זה!?
ממש לא ציפיתי להתעורר בבוקר ולקרוא את זה הקשקוש הזה.
ח"כ איתן כבל קרא (או אולי רק צפה ב-) "גברים בחלל" וחשב "וואלה, הנה משהו שעבד וכולם היו שמחים עם זה".
בן-אדם, את החיים אי אפשר בסרט בינוני או בספר מד"ב די טוב.

איזה חרפון!
כן יש משתמטים.
יש גם סיבה לזה שפחות ופחות אנשים מוכנים לשרת בצה"ל.
אולי ננסה לחולל שינוי, אנ'לא יודעת... חברתי!
סתם נקודה למחשבה, כי כשיש הבנה לתוצאות שבשירות לצה"ל, ומלחמת לבנון השנייה הראתה לנו זאת בצורה הכי כואבת, למה שהמחזורים הצעירים ממני ירגישו מחוייבות למדינה הזו שלא שמה זין קצוץ על העתיד שלהם.
נאמר לי שיש לנו אוייבים ואנחנו צריכים הגנה מפניהם.
ברור שיש לנו אוייבים, אף אחד לא טוען אחרת.
אבל שלום לא משיגים ע"י הטלת פצצה יותר גדולה על אותו אוייב, גם אנחנו צריכים לרצות שלום ולעניות דעתי, כאשר מנהיגות המדינה מציעה חוקים של דרגות בין אזרחים ואף שלילת האזרחות ע"פ השירות הצבאי, החזון האמיתי של המדינה הזו ועזבו בולשיט ציוני, אני מדברת על החזון הדמוקרטי והסוציאלי, בו אנחנו חיים בשלום עם שכיננו.
המיליטריזם שגם ככה מחלחל לתוך כל קפל בחיים האזרחיים של כולנו מקבל כאן תוקף נוסף עוד יותר מצמרר.

ומה זה אומר פלסטינים אזרחי ישראל?
טוב נו... למי אכפת מערבים.

Bombs Away

Dec. 25th, 2007 11:26 am
eumelia: (Default)
Anybody who served (or followed the News) in Lebanon War II knows that Cluster bombs were employed by the IDF over Lebanon.
Those who know what Cluster bombs are all about (if you don't Google it, like everything else to do with weapons there's a lot of info online about it) should be aware that undetonated "bomblets" are either dudds or sleepers that act like land-mines, no need to explain what a land-mine is.

I thought the investigation about the use of Cluster bombs was redundant, because unlike the use of land-mines, which are illegal, Cluster bombs are not illegal under international law.
Just immoral.
And as we all know, morality touches very little on legality when it comes to International law, which is generally about whatever you do inside your own borders is fine, just don't bother us about it.
Seeing as the bombs were dropped outside Israel... well, you know the rest.

Ynet News is defensive about the use of Cluster bombs. And as usual BBC News has no problems with being morally "superior".

I remember when my officer first spoke to me during my service about the weapons in our arsenal and I studied Cluster Bombs I asked her "Isn't this like dropping land-mines on people" - in my 18 year old innocence.
And she said "That's exactly what it is".
"And this is allowed?"
"It's not illegal"
"That's horrible"
"Yes it is"
And we moved on.

Morals and Ethics have very little place in any army. They should.
But they don't.
But so long as no War Time Laws are broken, what difference does it make what the aftermath is.

13:31 - Edited to Add: This what Israel.Indymedia has to say about the Cluster Bomb findings.

13:41 - Edited to Add: Someone else with an opinion - it's in Hebrew over at Friends of George.
eumelia: (Default)
We are currently in what a year ago was a part of the Second Lebanon War.

Those of you who followed this blog since know it's been a rough year for me, probably the crappiest I've ever experienced, since you can't really count the roller coater hormone rides of teenage life truly crappy. At least mine weren't.
I envy people who had the worst time in their lives during their teens; that can be put behind and one can move past that.
Here I talk about what I feel and things get a little graphic, so proceed with caution )

But tomorrow I'm going to Fantasy-Con where I'll see "Fraggle Rock" and buy Comic Books and all will be... a little bit better.

In addition, the genocide in Darfur must be stopped.

וכמו כן, צריך לעצור את רצח העם בדרפור.
eumelia: (Default)
And asked me to come in for a day or two some time in the future.

I wonder if the new Reserve office made it clear to my old Unit that I'm not coming back.
That I'm unable to even think about doing what they want me to do.
I'm not cut out for this sort of thing, I went there to help a friend, I went there because my friend asked for help and I did what I could to help.
But I can't anymore.
Not when my heart starts to beat like a it's pumping it's going into a heart attack any second. When just thinking about going down into that bunker causes me to become this meek, spineless, crybaby.

Daddy asked me if I regret going into the Army last summer and one level no I don't, because I helped people and I helped my friends, but on another, yes I do. I regret that I had to come home every night and cry my eyes out and that I had to lose five kilos of weight due to stress. I regret serving in a War that did nothing but kill people, if we had attained our goals maybe it wouldn't have felt so worthless, but all this War did was make Israel look reckless, aggressive and unprepared for fighting an asymmetrical war.

I'm not cut out for watching monitors that show people being killed, and you know despite the fact that the people I saw die had no regard for life and that their goal was to destroy my home, which contrary to what some people think, I love. I can't fight for it the way it asks of me.

I can't.
I love my country, I hate my government. I love the soldiers, I hate the generals. I love the people, I hate the politics.

I love Israel, but I gave what I can and I have nothing else to give that it wants.
All I can offer is that I'll continue writing about what goes on here and tell people that yes, bad things happen here, but since when has bad things happening, made bad people.

Daddy when I told him that essentially yes, I regret having gone to the Army in the summer, despite not regretting helping my friend, I don't feel it was a good time for me. Daddy thinks it was good for me, "a new experience". And let's not forget the money.
Fuck that.
Seriously.
Fuck. That.
War is not "experience". And neither is a drill, not anymore.
I don't enjoy being a bitchy reservist that causes problems to my old unit, but I've been there and it's not the first time they've been low on personnel and it won't be the last, so they'll have to deal without Mel.
And yes it hurts me to do this, but I come first and going to a Drill is not in my best interests.
And asking me "wouldn't you earn money from it?", is not an okay question to ask when I've explained my position!
eumelia: (Default)
Midnight News report:

Heavy exchange of fire between the Lebanese Army and the Israeli Defense Force.

Shit.

I'm getting really awful flashbacks.
eumelia: (Default)
Hey, y'all remember how I fought for my country, had a slight nervous breakdown and am now left with emotional scarring.

Fucking Bituach Leumi has decided to reject my plea for the money I fucking deserve!
That's a month's worth of money the country fucking owes me!
Some bureaucratic asshole stamped "Rejected" on my papers.

Oh, no. No, no, no, this government, which I didn't even bloody well vote for, is not going to screw me over again!

They had a war, now they've got me and my Mother! To deal with, they'll be running to Assad after I'm done with them!

Damn it's good to feel angry.

Parties!!!

Sep. 1st, 2006 06:51 pm
eumelia: (Default)
What a busy week and day!
Granny and Peter are back in SA, Leigh and her family are set up in Beer-Sheva (they're now waiting for all their stuff, that's being shipped here).
The job at the DVD-club is mine, had a great half shift today, Friday is always busier than any other day.
[livejournal.com profile] hagar_972 and I were invited by the squadrons that we dealt with during the war to an After War Party, unfortunately they failed to let us know that it was a pool party, I was a bit disappointed, but Hagar didn't mind that much.
It was a bit of a struggle to find the place since the place is between Abu-Ghosh and Jerusalem... pretty much nowhere and the company in the car (Hagar's mother) was less than stellar, but we arrived without major injury and had a pretty good time.
At around six Navot (that would be [livejournal.com profile] daemonfall) picked us up and we're now at his house, they're cuddling like crazy and I'm updating my blog... how unfair is my life!

More after the OTHER party we're going to this evening, which is our friends and dual celebration of Hagar's Birthday and end of war for everyone in this little group that participated.
So, definitely more in the future!

Fun Times

Aug. 27th, 2006 09:26 pm
eumelia: (Default)
Today I went to the 6th annual animation and comics festival in the Cinemateque in Tel-Aviv.

Ooooh, so many things to see and buy! I unfortunately learned about the Festival very late so I wasn't able to go to any lectures or view any of the Animation, but there were a lot of caricatures, mainly of the political kind (what else, especially in Israel). I think due to this war there is finally a consensus in the country about how crappily the whole situation was handled.
It was so tragically humorous.

And I bought a bunch of stuff; one independent comic, four short stories by a local Israeli artist whose name is Dotan Goldwasser, very talented guy, it's not that avant-garde, but very good. An Israeli action comic steeped in Israeli Machismo, but the plot, characters and the whole presentation is very good, it's called "Uzi, an urban legend" - עוזי, אגדה אורבנית. Yeah, there are Uzi guns in it as well.
X-Men: House of M, finally got it! I've been dying to have for years and now it's mine!
And my favourite "A little Endless fairy tale" by Jill Thompson. To any of you Sandman fans, remember in "Fables and Reflections" there's a story where Cain and Able tell young Daniel a story ("Parliament of Rooks") and one of the stories is about the Young Endless, well here's an entire book!

I'm very, very pleased
eumelia: (Default)
It's over.

The only way I'm going back to the Army is by an emergency draft.
I've done my time, 30 days of that given, volunteered to Tzahal.

So, now my family is coming to visit, just in time for my service to be over.

Just so we are clear, I am not sure how long this cease-fire will actually last, if at all, but I just can't do this sort of thing anymore.

War isn't for me.
eumelia: (Default)
Just got off the phone with [livejournal.com profile] hagar_972, she just informed me that tomorrow is my last shift at the army.

It feels unreal.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off me in some way, the relief is almost painful.
Speaking to Hagar I stopped breathing for a little.

I also found out that Yaron (the guy who I'm sitting with tomorrow) went to a funeral yesterday, a member of his Kibbutz was killed.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.
Relieved certainly, but now suddenly it's as though a Purpose is gone, and even though I suffered greatly and had a hell of a lot of inner conflicts about the whole thing, Being in the army during these interesting times; I don't think I'll ever regret.

Thanks for reading and commenting during this stressful time.
eumelia: (Default)
There's a cease-fire going on.
Yesterday Hezbollah launched 250 missiles, just to say farewell, to those who don't know that's double the amount the average they've launched in the past.
[livejournal.com profile] hagar_972 and I didn't notice how busy we were until the last hour of our shift when we lost it a little bit, started giggling and annoying people around us (more than usual, that is).
We also had our parting gifts by destroying even more of the decimated Beirut and Zur (Tyre), *sigh*.
Northern Israel and Southern Lebanon are utterly destroyed, yeah, I'm sure all the people moving up country and down country will be delighted to see their rubbled homes and regiments of soldiers "Peacekeeping".

So now Israel will wait inside until there the Lebanese Army and the promised UNIFIL forces enter and the Lebanese government does what it's supposed to do, disarm Hezbollah and get proper sovereignty over it's entire country. Hezbollah having ministers in the Lebanese Parliament doesn't mean they are granted control over a certain part of the country.
While Resolution 1701 is good for Israel on the whole, it doesn't do much to reprimand Hezbollah for all the crap they've pulled, it's a slap on the wrist to the irresponsible Lebanese Government (since it calls to implement the Taif Accords, which should have happened when they were, ya know, agreed upon! Not to mention other Resolutions - 1559 and 1608). So Hezbollah will lay low for a few years, this time a less than six I am sure, while it arms itself again, via Syria and Iran. I'm pretty sure the Russians are a little unhappy about the arms embargo put on Syria and Iran since they like to do business with them, but ya know, if you're going to be doing business with shady countries you've got to make sure your ass is covered and Russia has a large ass.

I'm still in reserve, because, well, Hezbollah doesn't have the best track record with abiding with diplomatic agreements and since when does Israel promptly do what it should, I mean it took us nearly thirty years to get out of Gaza and twenty to get out of Lebanon (the first time). So both sides are going to be butting heads over this.
Then again, what else is new?

Until Hagar and I get regular service replacements we'll be staying, which should be a week.
If it's more... I do believe heads will roll, since Hagar and I will behead them from the relevant bodies.

Despite my cynicism, this I hope for:

"וכתתו חרבותם לאתים וחניתותיהם למזמרות לא ישא גוי אל גוי חרב ולא-ילמדו עוד מלחמה"

ישעיה, פרק ב', פסוק ד'


"And they shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning-hooks: nation shall not lift up swords against nation, neither shall they learn war any more"

Isaiah chapter 2, verse 4
eumelia: (Default)
I just got off the phone with [livejournal.com profile] hagar_972, the snafu situation I talked about in my previous post is in the OK.

Happiness.
Relief.

It's better.
eumelia: (Default)
It takes a long time for me to formulate the words needed to say what it is I feel needs to be said.
No words can describe what happened in the past two days.
I simply do not want to put down in words how utterly disappointed I am in my commanders, because that's personal, and I've already ranted to my family about it and putting what I want to say about the fubar* situation that went down yesterday I will be exposing state secrets.
None of which should be put on-line.

Instead I shall vent about the snafu** situation that is going on in the North and how our government is doing ziltch, zero, nata, nieta and a whole lotta nothing for the people there.
Where the fuck is Olmert?! He will be giving a public address on Tuesday... Tuesday. If he were a decent PM (I'm not even talking person here) but the bloody leader of my fine country, he would be giving speeches every damn day, morale and patriotism is something that is needed for those who are targeted.
The way the armed wing of Hezbollah works, as I've stated before, is guerrilla warfare, that means they use scare and surprises tactics to subdue the population and while Israelis are tough and have been through more wars and skirmishes in the past sixty years that is remotely sane, they have been quite resilient against the rockets landing in their back yards, but it's wearing them down and they are getting no governmental support. Quiriat Shmona, Metula, Ma'alot, Tzfat and the other small Yeshuvim and Kibbutzim are ghost Townes, but not everyone has family/friends/generous acquaintances/generous strangers in the Centre and South for them to sweat this time out and they're stuck in between the rows of red tape, because we are still fighting an undeclared war against an organisation that is the De Facto army of South Lebanon and has representatives in the Lebanese Parliament and the way Israel is doing thing we should have declared Cassus Belli about the kidnapped soldiers and not gone in all Gung Ho into a country that traumatized us and fight an enemy we so severely underestimated.

So it's all snafu, but utterly and completely fubar.
And yeah, I'm angry, frustrated.
And still realistic... we have to fight... I don't want to... but I will.

*Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
**Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.

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Eumelia

June 2015

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V and Justice

V: Ah, I was forgetting that we are not properly introduced. I do not have a name. You can call me V. Madam Justice...this is V. V... this is Madam Justice. hello, Madam Justice.

Justice: Good evening, V.

V: There. Now we know each other. Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what you're thinking...

Justice: The poor boy has a crush on me...an adolescent fatuation.

V: I beg your pardon, Madam. It isn't like that at all. I've long admired you...albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets below when I was a child. I'd say to my father, "Who is that lady?" And he'd say "That's Madam Justice." And I'd say "Isn't she pretty."

V: Please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person. As an ideal.

Justice: What? V! For shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot, some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!

V: I, Madam? I beg to differ! It was your infidelity that drove me to her arms!

V: Ah-ha! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling. But I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform.

Justice: Uniform? Why I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, V. You were the only one...

V: Liar! Slut! Whore! Deny that you let him have his way with you, him with his armbands and jackboots!

V: Well? Cat got your tongue? I though as much.

V: Very well. So you stand revealed at last. you are no longer my justice. You are his justice now. You have bedded another.

Justice: Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she, V? What is her name?

V: Her name is Anarchy. And she has taught me more as a mistress than you ever did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none. Unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So good bye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved.

*KABOOM!*

-"V for Vendetta"

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