eumelia: (determination & courage)
Title: The World Is Turning to Noise
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/[livejournal.com profile] eumelia/[archiveofourown.org profile] Eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Danny
Rating: R/Mature
Spoilers: Episode 5.04 “Ka Noeʻau” (The Painter)
Word Count 1840
Warnings: Graphic description of decaying body
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: The title comes from Peter Gabriel's superbly haunting song “Signal to Noise”. This work was graciously beta'd by [livejournal.com profile] verasteine. Thank you, bb.
Summary: Steve puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing before moving it up to cup Danny's jaw and face. “Don't look.”
--
Danny's breaths are loud, shallow, his shoulders shaking with each inhale. )

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eumelia: (tickled pink)
Title: Uncharted Territories
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/[livejournal.com profile] eumelia/[archiveofourown.org profile] Eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Danny/Steve, Mary/Kono, Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, Grace Williams, Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly, Joan McGarrett
Rating: R/Mature
Spoilers: n/a
Word Count 8298
Warnings: one scene contains near drowning.
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: I couldn't have done this without the patience and harsh criticism of my beta and wonderful friend Janet/@_valleygirl07. I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you so so much.

This fic was greatly inspired by the movies “Wings of Desire”, “City of Angels” and the show “Touched by an Angel” that I was obsessed with as a kid. I don't even know why at this point.

The title was inspired by the lyrics of Alanis Morissette's “Uninvited”, which is featured in the “City of Angels” soundtrack. Many of the songs on that soundtrack were listened to throughout the process of writing this fic.

This work is part of LJ's [livejournal.com profile] h50_reversebang, is accompanied by [archiveofourown.org profile] ignemferam's gorgeous fanart.
Summary: Danny is an angel with choices to make.
--

Danny sits by the bed of a dying man. )
eumelia: (drink to that)
Title: Make Me a Day (Make Me Whole Again)
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/[livejournal.com profile] eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Mary McGarrett, Danny Williams, Grace Williams, Joan McGarrett
Rating: PG/General Audiences
Spoilers: up tp 4.09 Hauʻoli La HoʻomaikaʻI
Word Count 2316
Warnings: N/A
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: So it appears I have a series? What can I say, Mary is inspiring.

A major thanks to Perspi for the beta over Thanksgiving. Couldn't do it without you, babe!

The title is from the lyrics of Tori Amos' Baker Baker.

I suggest you read the first part of this series first. The World Has Gone Crazy (I'm Glad I'm Not You) to be found on DW, LJ and AO3, as you prefer.

Summary: "Don't worry about it," he says, like it's completely reasonable that twice in two weeks she appeared out of nowhere on his doorstep.

---

Mary hates crying )
eumelia: (hey look)
Title: The World Has Gone Crazy (I'm Glad I'm Not You)
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/[livejournal.com profile] eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Danny Williams, Mary McGarrett, Joan McGarrett
Rating: G/General Audiences
Spoilers: 4.07 Ua Nalohia
Word Count 2015
Warnings: N/A
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: This coda is only just a little late. I'm a slow writer.
I love Danny and I love Mary and there should be more of them spending time together. The title is from Don McLean's Wonderful Baby. More lyrics from the same song can be found in the body of the fic itself.
My biggest thanks to Perspi and Iby who beta'd this with so much care. Thank you, babes.
Summary: Mary stands in front of the door for a long moment, holding Joan tightly in her arms, staring at the frame and the doorbell.

- - - -

Mary stands in front of the door for a long moment )
eumelia: (oy vey)
These are slightly more meta in nature so bear with me, there will be some bitching regarding the direction the show decided to take the whole Billy plot.

Let me first begin that I have to give kudos to the show because they decided to fridge a man in order to give a woman angst. It’s very rare that it happens that way (usually it’s woman dies and man angsts) and it would have made an interesting moment on an otherwise very conservative show.

Alas, did anyone care about Billy?

If you did, then I’m sorry he died. I didn’t care, nor did a great many people. Many cared about Governor Jameson, many care about Jenna Kaye, a great very many cared about Malia (whose death is the most comparable to Billy’s).

It’s debatable as to whether Pat Jameson or Jenna had to die (I don’t think they needed to, personally), but I think it’s blatantly clear that Malia, as a character, did not need to be killed off in order to motivate Chin. And considering that part of Chin has been left utterly untouched and unexplored, Malia’s death was also superfluous.

This is what will happen with Billy, only worse.

Unlike Malia, whose relationship with Chin was cultivated over two seasons and her death was gutting (and fucking unnecessary), Billy was introduced at the end of S3 and was basically slammed by the two male leads throughout his entire existence.

How am I supposed to care about him, because Cath cares? Cath barely talked about him, most of our information about Billy came from Steve (who gave Billy the side eye at the end of 4.04) and well, the emotional arc was mediocre.

Throughout the ep once he’s dead, Billy’s worthiness of love and emotional connection was completely reliant on his status as a SEAL and hero. Cath’s angst would have been moving had their relationship actually been developed and not talked about in a maligning way by Danny (a wholly unnecessary character assassination that brought us absolutely nowhere).

So will there be character development for Cath? I doubt it, because frigding only pushes a character so far.

The attempt to create a moving and meaningful moment for Cath fell flat because the writing deflected what could have been an actual adult relationship between exes, into silly soap opera “Love Triangle” drama to create tension that never existed.

Do better show and give us some actual meat to chew on.

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eumelia: (strength & conviction)
Joe and Danny’s scene was superb, superb, superb. In your smug face, Joe. Danny’s loyalty and compassion are impenetrable to your manipulation and instrumentalism! MAWHAHAH!

I think if there’s one thing that got pummelled into us today is that every one of Steve’s parental figures is a horrible human being. Doris, because ultimately the fact that she wanted to be a mother doesn’t mean she was actually cut out for it. Jack, for abandoning his kids once Doris decided she’d rather have adventures than be a teacher and full time mom. Joe, for his manipulative ulterior motives and using Steve like a tool for his own gains.

Always with making Steve a tool and making him feel worthless, huh, parental units.

Chin shouting at Kono to get out moved me a lot. Chin’s eyes, my god, berserk and worried and he’d fly to Hong Kong right now if he could.

The sat-phone is the most obvious thing in the world, the Yakuza could have snatched her right there, seriously.

However, I was mainly bored by this episode.

I wasn’t interested in Billy. I’m not interested in Cath. I’m not interested in Steve/Cath, so the focus of the ep and the procedural left me distracted.

Oh, except when Steve espoused his stupid sexist ideas regarding motive (“Woman scored” and “unrequited love”?). Seriously show, seriously. A little humanity is all I ask for.

And then I got angry about the Navy and the Military and the fact that show loves them a little too much.

Cut for unpopular opinions )

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eumelia: (fatherly love)
I think this is the first episode of the season that made me truly happy.

If fact I was so happy I actually posted a short incoherent tumblr entry that included this image:



Yes, that's how fucking ridiculous I felt about this episode, or more specifically, about Danny in this episode.

Because he fucking rocked.

Spoilers )

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eumelia: (compassion & kindness)
Danny held a baby. He also gave her a stuffed monkey that used to belong to Grace. He called the baby a monkey.

Chin went to band camp. He plays the trumpet. He likes Jazz music.

Max and Steve are bffs, of course they are.

There was a fuck tonne of X-Files references and Jerry called Danny ‘Scully’. This warmed the cockles of my cold heart immensely.

And that’s what I liked.

I might write about the rest later on, but probably not, because I’ve cried enough as it is.

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eumelia: (bullshit)
I'm not bothering to cut for spoilers, because this won't be long and there won't be that many specifics because I'm just too angry to go into detail

I seriously can't hear you over the sound of the steam rushing out of my ears what with my fury over this fucking episode.

Every single one of the men (except Chin, because obviously his opinion doesn't count over anything other than the technology) can go die in a fucking fire. Billy, I want you dead. Steve, you're an asshole. Danny, I want to lop of your head and play football with it.

I don't know what John Dove, the writer of this episode, was masturbating too when he was writing this garbage, but he should keep his stupid, sexist and misogynistic fantasies out of my show.

For the love of fucking god, will you let Catherine be more than a cardboard cut out? Please? I'm begging you here.

The baseball was cute. That's about it. It was about the only time in the ep that I felt Danny was in character, that and the "hey, stupid" moment. Plot wise, yeah, Wo Fat, whatever, do we care at this point? I mean, seriously, do we?

Gracie is a peewee baseball motor and that was lovely. Did not save the episode, but it was lovely.

I seriously can't think of anything constructive to say. Kono continues to be badass and there to make sure Adam lives. I can't care about him.

This ep is a write off for me along with 3.20 and the LA Crossover. I just can't with character assassination. I can't.

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eumelia: (tickled pink)
I haven't written a post episode meta review in a while, so please bear with me.

Cut for spoilers )

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eumelia: (rest and relaxation)
Title: Pull My Chin (Touch My Hair)
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/[livejournal.com profile] eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Danny
Rating: Explicit/NC-17
Spoilers: None
Word Count 2316
Warnings: N/A
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: Title from Peter Gabriel's song “I Have the Touche”. I wrote this last year as a way to cheer up a friend. I decided to clean it up and, um, flesh it out and post it. This was lovingly proof read and beta'd by [livejournal.com profile] verasteine, thank you, bb.
Summary: When Steve returns home, Danny can't wait to get his hands all over him.
--
Steve had been deployed. He'd been called and of course, of course he'd gone. Danny admires it, when he doesn't resent it )
eumelia: (brilliant)
It's the first of September and I'm here!

First of all, oh my god, [personal profile] perspi thank you so much for the DW points, that is so generous and lovely and thoughtful! And brilliant gift for the new Hebrew year. Thank you.

Second of all, it is indeed the week of Rosh Ha'Shana and it being so, I'm really going to make an effort to reactivate my long form blogging on DW and LJ. Who knows, maybe connect the account to twitter (which is where I spend most of my time at this point - it's helpful for work and for fast speedy one liner thoughts that need an outlet.)

Twitter, though, is one of the most passive aggressive platform on earth. There are days in which I feel like everyone is mean spirited, myself included, despite the fact that I try to curb my passive aggressive tendencies by being, well, aggressive aggressive.

It's a finicky thing. I do like the attention of that platfrom and have a very healthy mix of queers, feminists and fans that I follow and who follow me back. I've never been so popular.

It's actually been a stressful time (I know, when isn't it?), Hawaii Five-0 fandom continues to be toxic - it will never stop being so so long as some fans feel they are entitled to shame others in the name of a celebrity who deigned to talk to them - not to mention that the showrunner himself is a racist asshole.

I'll live with the pain, I guess, in the name of Scott and Danny. It's hard, not gonna lie, it takes a lot to just be happy in that fandom, it is rife with bullshit I don't deal with very well, but this is the show that hooked me and it's not letting go.

As for real life, you guys, I promise, in the hour of need I promise to take a selfie with my gas mask on and caption it "Are you my Mummy?"

Funny, right!?

More later!
eumelia: (tickled pink)
Work continues to kick my ass. I continue to do well and make mistakes. I can see that I'm not making many mistakes, but you know, no one praises you for a job well done when you manage a day in which you don't have to fix a hiccup.

I've signed up for the ABC H/C Hawaii Five-0 Challenge.

I got the creepiest prompt of them all; "Buried Alive", which I had planned to make hopeless and terrible, because my brain is a lovely place to stay for a holiday. Thankfully my beta-to-be talked me out of my original idea and now I have something creepier, really!

What I don't have is time or discipline. I need to sit on my ass and write, but it's a hardship and I'm annoyed, because I want to write more, but my lifestyle is such that I basically get home from work and vegetate.

Tumblr is very good for vegetation.

I still want to write all the meta and a spiel about identifying with a fictional character in the most profound way, but at this point it just feels like I'm reaching for the impossible.

*FLAIL*

Mar. 4th, 2013 09:25 pm
eumelia: (tickled pink)
I've been wanting to write this since this morning!

You guys, I was rec'd on [livejournal.com profile] crack_van!

The lovely [livejournal.com profile] kristen999 let me know this morning, I think I would have been completely oblivious if she hadn't.

I totally had a Sally Field moment of "You like me, you really like me!" thing going on, it was rather pathetic.

My story Rainbows Have Nothing to Hide was rec'd here.

Oh man, that was just the self esteem boost I needed!
eumelia: (queer rage)
I would like to turn back to the tie scene. The whole court room scene in fact, as it’s a good opportunity to discuss something that bothers as a general rule and I don’t think it’s discussed openly enough in fandom.

About a year ago, I very pretentiously and arrogantly posted a post about “being queer in fandom”, you can read it here (on DW or LJ, as is convenient), and I got a lot of insight from the feedback (and reading what anons thought of me on that meme), which aided me over the past year of teasing out what really bothers me as a queer fan in what is evidently a rather straight fandom.

What I write here, as should be evident, is my own opinion and comes from my own feelings. And while I’m talking about my specific fandom, this is something that I’ve seen happen all over slash fandom, so let me hear what y'all have to say.

It should be readily clear to everyone who watches H50 that Danny and Steve as a romantic couple will never happen in canon. It won’t. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t want it to either.

I’m saying this now, because the season has given us many beautiful moments (on the boat, with the bomb, the straightening of this tie, and many other smaller ones) which have been fantastically fun to explore and have given us great insight into the nature of Danny and Steve’s friendship and relationship.

These are not, as they say, gay moments. They’re not. Because trust me, if they were, we’d know about it. Because subtext is not, I repeat, not representation. And the fact that I ship them doesn’t mean my friend ships them. Them not shipping Danny/Steve isn’t anymore more right than shipping Catherine/Steve, the main difference being, and wait for it, it’s a big one, Catherine/Stave is actual, fucking, canon. And regardless of how you interpret their relationship (romantic, convenience, fuckbuddy) their sexual relationship is canon.

When I hear people in fandom accuse others of homophobia for not shipping Danny/Steve all I can do is laugh bitterly. Talk to me when someone shouts “Dyke” at the street at you, or tells you all you need is a good fuck by a man (i.e. threatens you with rape), or your parents demand you “behave yourself” at a wedding because god forbid I slow dance with my girlfriend. Unless someone has said that slash is gross because it’s gay, it’s not homophobia, so get the fuck over yourselves.

Danny and Steve are not “gay for each other” (may that trope die in the fiery pit from whence it came) and the insistence of certain places in fandom that they are, is fucking offensive. Let me tell you why. It smacks of appropriation. Just like saying that not shipping a certain ship is homophobia, the insistence of that ship is a fetishisiation of a fantasy of same sex male relationships.

I hate the marriage jokes and the “dads” comment. When I hear them and see them, all I feel like is a punch to the gut. As though any kind of close same sex friendship is something to mocked, especially if it’s between two men.

As mentioned, those are jokes, my best friend and I have been mistaken for a lesbian couple, we’ve been told that we act like we’re married.

We’re not together and we never were. She’s happily married to her partner and I’m happily single being very lazy about finding love.

In the show, the idea of Danny and Steve being “married” and a couple is laughable and a joke, thus it is presented as such. It is constantly averted in order to maintain them being canonically straight. What is explored in the show and what makes it special is the nature of male/male friendship and the expression of those feelings in a way that is uninhibited.

Slash is an interpretation. Slash isn’t representation.

When I see factions of fandom insist on the “canon “of Danny and Steve as a gay couple all I see is a bunch of entitled fangirls appropriating gay identity and culture.

If you really want LGBT content, stop trying to make your own personal OTP into a peepshow and go look for shit on your own. No, really, here you go.

If your *squee* feels harshed I’d like you to take a step back and consider that some of us are invested in actual LGBT content because for the love of god, we need it. I need it. I’m not looking for gay content on Hawaii Five-0, but I would like my identity as a gay and bisexual woman to be fucking respected and to not have it appropriated for the benefit of someone else’s *squee*.

I love this show and I love fandom and I want us all to do better.

H50 is not the only fandom to do this. This is a pan-fandom issue that needs to be discussed openly and internally, because I honestly don’t care about the way we’re perceived by others, it’s not about them, it’s about us.

While I don’t think the show queerbaits as such, the fandom can behaves like it does. Moreover, it behaves like queerbaiting is a good thing, when all it is, is the creators having their progressive cake and eating it. I’m glad Lenkov et al aren’t falling into that trap, because no matter how much we insist, H50 transformative fandom on Tumblr and AO3 and LJ/DW is tiny. And while we may be loud, we are not the target audience and he certainly doesn’t cater to us (no matter how much he likes the vids and the fanart, and it's awesome that he does).

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eumelia: (shine)
It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, so please excuse any flickering of random thoughts and observations that may seem totally disconnected, but I promise they all make sense.

I was spoiled for this episode. Spoilers For You )

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eumelia: (beautiful)
Okay so, my reaction is basically this.

Spoilers )

Check back later for something a little bit more lengthy and analytical. It won't be now :P
eumelia: (determination & courage)
Hi.

I haven't been around much this week.

I'm sorry if I missed something really important, but I don't think I can go through all the posts in my lists to find out. :/

It's been over a week and a half since I last posted.

The reason I've been absent from here and more on the fast paced and less verbose platforms is because I've been extremely busy and tired and feeling guilty about not writing here lately.

Last week due to the storm and feeling cold all the time, I mainly sat around wrapped in blankets and didn't even acquire any of the shows I'd been following lately, preferring to stare at the television screen in my parents' living room and chat with friends while the noise droned on.

This week I'd just felt overwhelmed and lacking in energy after long days at work. I've been given new responsibilities and a big push professionally and I'm under a lot of pressure, suddenly.

January is a rough month regardless, it being the month in which my cousin passed away last year and a bunch of other horrible things happened and changed the course of 2012 FOREVER.

Fandom has also been giving me angst, I know I don't have to read reactions, and I know I'm not really as isolated as I feel, but I wanted to post meta, I didn't, mainly because I was overwhelmed by feelings about fandom, my place in it, whether I have anything of worth to add to the discourse and even if I do, does anyone care.

Add to that that I'm blocked and I'm not particularly inspired by much of what my fandom has been producing (though hopefully that will change now that the hiatus is over?), that makes me feel even more ill at ease.

Whine whine, whinge whinge. I know.

The thing is, and it had to be pointed out to me while I was moping and at my most pathetic, that I do have a voice and I am participating, but you know, Hawaii Five-0 is a hard fandom for me.

I love the show and I love the friends that I've made, but the fandom... I don't always feel there is a place for multiplicity. I don't feel that marginal voices get the attention and amplification they need and I speak as someone who is a shipper for the main ship (among others).

I was spoiled in previous fandoms. But this also one of the first fandoms in which I participated in beyond a discussion here and there and with meta.

Sometimes it feels like I'm doing fandom wrong. But I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles.

I've been consoling myself by reading Dwarf fanfic. I want a beard.
eumelia: (a face)
Still home sick, so before I lose myself in tumblr and twitter and everything else "Hawaii Five-0" here is my meta reaction!

Spoilers!!! )

Profile

eumelia: (Default)
Eumelia

June 2015

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V and Justice

V: Ah, I was forgetting that we are not properly introduced. I do not have a name. You can call me V. Madam Justice...this is V. V... this is Madam Justice. hello, Madam Justice.

Justice: Good evening, V.

V: There. Now we know each other. Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what you're thinking...

Justice: The poor boy has a crush on me...an adolescent fatuation.

V: I beg your pardon, Madam. It isn't like that at all. I've long admired you...albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets below when I was a child. I'd say to my father, "Who is that lady?" And he'd say "That's Madam Justice." And I'd say "Isn't she pretty."

V: Please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person. As an ideal.

Justice: What? V! For shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot, some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!

V: I, Madam? I beg to differ! It was your infidelity that drove me to her arms!

V: Ah-ha! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling. But I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform.

Justice: Uniform? Why I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, V. You were the only one...

V: Liar! Slut! Whore! Deny that you let him have his way with you, him with his armbands and jackboots!

V: Well? Cat got your tongue? I though as much.

V: Very well. So you stand revealed at last. you are no longer my justice. You are his justice now. You have bedded another.

Justice: Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she, V? What is her name?

V: Her name is Anarchy. And she has taught me more as a mistress than you ever did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none. Unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So good bye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved.

*KABOOM!*

-"V for Vendetta"

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