eumelia: (killshot kono)
[personal profile] eumelia
Trigger Warning: Homophobia, biphobia and general rage contained therein.


My anger had been building since Saturday to be perfectly honest, when I read a fic which decided to chuck caution to the wind, make up shit about gay culture and gay sex and made me realise how alienated I feel from my fandom in general. But that, really, is beside the point.

I've been pissed off the whole day. I honest to god felt as though my identity was being attacked.

Two columns I read this morning made me feel gutted and ripped.

I'm bisexual. I'm gay. I'm lesbian. I'm queer. I'm all the letters except the T in LGBT. These are things I have been for as long as I could articulate. I use each identity in different circumstances. This is a common thing, I suspect, presenting different things in different situations.

But this morning reading an account of a lesbian explaining herself to straight people in a Vagendamag column called Lesbian, a Lifestyle in which the writers gives a grocery list of the various "types" of queers for the comfort and benefit of straight readers, something which jarred me.

I'm not easily jarred.

The casual way in which she talks about the stereotypes, as though they are taxonomy of exotic animals and birds to be found in the scene, from flamboyant femmes to greedy bisexuals, all to tack make sure we're ticked off the list.

Oh, it's tongue in cheek and in vogue with talking about the commodification of identities, after all, we're not a community, we're merely consumers.

And still, in a feminist mag and column about gay women I expect to be spoken to, not spoken about and yeah, it was jarring.

I'm not an exhibit at the zoo to be spoken about to the curious spectators.

The second article that honest to god made me feel like shit for a better part of the day was this column from the HuffPo UK, titled: Bisexuality: Is It Fun, Non Committal or Just Plain Greedy?.
As you can probably imagine, it was like a bingo card of biphobic shit.

Greedy, check. Indecisive, check. Trendy, check. Half gay, check. Half straight check.

When I was 15 I was confused about a lot of things. One of the things I was quite sure of was that I was attracted to boys and to girl and to to people in drag.

When I was 20 and I'd gone through five years of telling the various members of my family, at different times and for various reasons, that I'm bisexual, I thought I was done. I thought, that's it, who else do I have to tell?

Everyone.

All the time.

I do not like assumptions made about me. I do not like it when my identity, when the word I do not like as a rule, but is the only one I have, is used against me. To be called lazy for not picking a "side"? To be called greedy because of the stupid stereotype that those attracted to more than one sex and gender are somehow incapable of fidelity?

There is no "side", I am not straight! I was never straight! There is no place for me in straight culture and society, not since I was 15, so anyone who wants to talk to me about "picking a side" regarding who I chose to have a relationship with can fuck off.

Two articles that made me feel like shit, written by members of a community I generally consider myself a part of. The former wrote to appease the curiosity and needs of straight readers and the latter decided to write a polemic in which he accused bisexual men and women of being lesser human being on the sexual level.

My god, this is what assimilation brings us, total invalidation and invisibility from those who now have the privilege to be "normal".

It's not easy, because there is a constant demand that I apologise for not being exactly what I'm expected to be.

I sick of being apologetic about existing in the manner that I do.

I'm not an exhibit at the fucking zoo.

Tumblr crosspost

Date: 2012-11-26 10:30 pm (UTC)
tamsin: (GLBT - Pride Pinguin)
From: [personal profile] tamsin
Damn, that second article is vile. How can one write something like this while patting oneself on the back for having become more open-minded? It's just boggling.

Date: 2012-11-26 10:59 pm (UTC)
askygoneonfire: Red and orange sunset over Hove (Default)
From: [personal profile] askygoneonfire
Pretty much a great big resounding YES from me here. Feel I could have written everything you've said here and I find it equally depressing that, the more accepted queer lives seem to become, there are always the poor relations who don't look like the 'right' kind of queer, or sleep with people in the right way...we don't get to be visible because we complicate the simple narratives of "just like you but same sex!"

I have tonnes more to say but it's nothing you don't know - more just supporting what you're saying - and it's late but yeah. Fuck biphobia, we should be past this by now.

Date: 2012-11-26 11:25 pm (UTC)
ironed_orchid: pin up girl reading kant (Default)
From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid
I'm bi but mostly monogamous. This sort of thing completely pisses me off. And being mostly monogamous, when I'm in a relationship, that means people assume that I am monosexual.

Date: 2012-11-27 06:52 am (UTC)
dharma_slut: They call me Mister CottonTail (Default)
From: [personal profile] dharma_slut
My motto for the past few years is:

never go looking for piles of shit-- not unless you have a shit shovel with you, or a nose that needs to be rubbed in it.

You cannot shovel that shit. And you can't rub the curs' noses in their messes.

The shit will be there whether or not you know it's there. You can't stop it. You can't shovel it.

Do your self a favor, because they wont; Stop reading homophobic opinions. Do other things instead. Make sure you vote, make your political donations count, write dissenting opinions when you have the fortitude. Otherwise-- stop breathing in the stench.

Date: 2012-11-28 04:07 am (UTC)
majoline: picture of Majoline, mother of Bon Mucho in Loco Roco 2 (Default)
From: [personal profile] majoline
Yes, this times everything.

Profile

eumelia: (Default)
Eumelia

June 2015

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V and Justice

V: Ah, I was forgetting that we are not properly introduced. I do not have a name. You can call me V. Madam Justice...this is V. V... this is Madam Justice. hello, Madam Justice.

Justice: Good evening, V.

V: There. Now we know each other. Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what you're thinking...

Justice: The poor boy has a crush on me...an adolescent fatuation.

V: I beg your pardon, Madam. It isn't like that at all. I've long admired you...albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets below when I was a child. I'd say to my father, "Who is that lady?" And he'd say "That's Madam Justice." And I'd say "Isn't she pretty."

V: Please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person. As an ideal.

Justice: What? V! For shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot, some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!

V: I, Madam? I beg to differ! It was your infidelity that drove me to her arms!

V: Ah-ha! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling. But I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform.

Justice: Uniform? Why I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, V. You were the only one...

V: Liar! Slut! Whore! Deny that you let him have his way with you, him with his armbands and jackboots!

V: Well? Cat got your tongue? I though as much.

V: Very well. So you stand revealed at last. you are no longer my justice. You are his justice now. You have bedded another.

Justice: Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she, V? What is her name?

V: Her name is Anarchy. And she has taught me more as a mistress than you ever did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none. Unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So good bye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved.

*KABOOM!*

-"V for Vendetta"

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