Feb. 15th, 2012

eumelia: (a face)
Title: Thousand Yard Stare
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/[livejournal.com profile] eumelia
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG/PG-13
Spoilers: n/a
Word Count: 369
Warnings: n/a
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, no infringement is intended
Author's Notes: Basically, this could not have been done without [livejournal.com profile] verasteine who gave me a prompt, held my hand and beta’d this. Thank you.
Summary: He follows Steve’s gaze and watches the ocean crash loudly onto the shore.

It's dusk when Danny finds Steve )
eumelia: (bisexual fury)
Language works against me.

I am different things in each vernacular.

There is a freedom in my bilingualism, but still both languages do not enable me to have the visibility I desire when it comes to my bisexuality.

It's easier to be gay (in Egnlish) or lesbian (in Hebrew), because those are clear cultural identifications.

There isn't much of a bisexual culture, not one I'm comfortable with at least.

Bisexual is not a word I like, beyond bad experiences with the word, unlike "gay", "lesbian" and "queer", to me it connotes a behaviour as opposed to an identity - possibly because of it's similarity to the overly medicalised "homosexual" (odd how "heterosexual" is not so medicalised, huh? Not odd, really).

But now, that I'm going to be speaking to teenagers about being LGBT, I need to make sure I have my letters in order and in Hebrew there is much less room to play around with the letters (In English I'm all the letters except the T, in Hebrew I can't be, because of the strict gender policing of the language).

I have to talk about being bisexual, as well as lesbian, because I am both, because despite the fact that I could be with a guy and probably be very happy, the assumptions of gender roles and gender dynamics within a different sex relationship is one that I feel utterly out of place in.

I am not one of those bisexual people who don't care about the gender of their partner. I do. A lot. It matters to me a great deal, it makes a difference to how I communicate and it makes a difference with regards to my needs and my desires.

But it's not just about who I have a relationship with, is it? It's about where I fit in, in the greater culture and I have always felt slightly out of place - wherever I was.

This is not a unique stand point. Is there anyone utterly comfortable where they are?

When it comes to sexuality and identifying with a sexual minority, because I am one and have felt the brunt of homophobia and biphobia, I don't think I can readily give up the moniker of lesbian - a woman who loves and desires other women. My bisexuality gives me the so-called flexibility to desire other genders as well, but I'm not flexible or fluid.

Language eludes me.

The words I know, and I know many, on this topic are not enough or they are not on the nose enough. They always leave something to be desired.

Maybe that's what being bisexual is about, in the end. Always running in circles that I'm gay, but not always, but I'm never straight, I was never straight, that has never been a part of my make-up.

Lesbian is also clear female sexuality, no questions, female centric and about female desires. That's also what I am.

Everything is so fucking vague. Or vaguely fucking (pardon my puns - it's a bisexual thing).

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Eumelia

June 2015

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V and Justice

V: Ah, I was forgetting that we are not properly introduced. I do not have a name. You can call me V. Madam Justice...this is V. V... this is Madam Justice. hello, Madam Justice.

Justice: Good evening, V.

V: There. Now we know each other. Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what you're thinking...

Justice: The poor boy has a crush on me...an adolescent fatuation.

V: I beg your pardon, Madam. It isn't like that at all. I've long admired you...albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets below when I was a child. I'd say to my father, "Who is that lady?" And he'd say "That's Madam Justice." And I'd say "Isn't she pretty."

V: Please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person. As an ideal.

Justice: What? V! For shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot, some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!

V: I, Madam? I beg to differ! It was your infidelity that drove me to her arms!

V: Ah-ha! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling. But I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform.

Justice: Uniform? Why I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, V. You were the only one...

V: Liar! Slut! Whore! Deny that you let him have his way with you, him with his armbands and jackboots!

V: Well? Cat got your tongue? I though as much.

V: Very well. So you stand revealed at last. you are no longer my justice. You are his justice now. You have bedded another.

Justice: Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she, V? What is her name?

V: Her name is Anarchy. And she has taught me more as a mistress than you ever did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none. Unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So good bye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved.

*KABOOM!*

-"V for Vendetta"

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